Black people bash back with the most frightening force so white people justify their acquiescence to their verbal demands by pretending they’re more vulnerable to the pain inflicted by hate speech than other and even far weaker minority groups. The acceptable narrative is never going to be the simple truth that whites are just simply afraid of blacks. It’s that their experience demands special consideration as if homosexuals have it relatively easy and aren’t in fact just an easier target.

And ftr the word d yke is brutal af where I live. I’m not in the Bay Area. Being a lesbian here is a one way ticket to permanent second class status for life here. Lesbians are ostracized socially and professionally. They’re not invited to book clubs, they’re shunned at church and they have no outlet to build social networks. As a result they don’t get hired, they don’t get promoted and poverty is weaponized against them. Poor women are more likely to be assaulted and raped and even murdered. So it’s not like a particularly gentle slur. At least not here in Jesusland.

Of course it depends on context. Identifying as something doesn't necessarily mean the word is harmless though. I identify as a d*ke (the word makes me go 'yay that's me!') but where I come from it's malicious enough that I'd frown if just anyone used it (the Dutch equivalent to the word d*ke is 'pot' btw, it is very similar in use and offensiveness). Also adi has a point that ***got seems to be universally much worse than d*ke.

Sure. I had the stigma of 'd*ke' hanging over me before I even knew I was gay
To me personally that aspect of homophobic slurs is worse than the actual homophobia. But that's because I've suffered much more from not conforming to gender norms than I have from being gay.

People thought you were a large mass holding back water? People are dum dums.

For real? How did that happen? You change majors?

There's some truth to this being afraid of getting a good thrashing

But I also legitimately think the n word is far worse. The historical baggage associated is just more severe. And I would say the same thing for the k slur with Jews. And nobody is scared of getting beat up by a Jew.

Also, for black men who are apt to assault you for calling them the n word, there's a huge number of them who would similarly assault you for calling them the f word. So the idea that's the safe insult to use in that context isn't even true.

Also if he's saying gay men can choose when to say the f word then why the **** can't I? You don't think that word applies to me?

That’s a good point but on the other hand the ADL don’t play and money fights for you.

Lior Goldstein would like a word with you two.

that only counts if you are a media personality or something they can go after

If you're a commoner and you call some random Jew the k slur the ADL isn't gonna do ****.

If you're a Congress woman who questions the lobbying support for Israel, on the other hand...