And remember people: Hate is not something you have to hate.
ribbons
02-05-2021 12:11 PM
Welcome back, OH! Seems like you were away much longer than 24 hours - I guess time does not fly when someone is missed. Good to see you back.
OccultHawk
02-05-2021 12:47 PM
Preciate that sister!
On a semi-serious note, obviously I want MB to be a place where I can be me and write what I want to write but other people feel uncomfortable when I move too far in certain directions. It’s a really hard sell to convince me they should feel uncomfortable but it’s an easy sell that people DO feel uncomfortable whether I like it or not. I’m not like an everywhere should be a safe space for everyone type of liberal but I also think it’s totally reasonable for everyone to feel basically comfortable here. Naturally, I think everybody ought to cheer me on and tell me everything I do is awesome but the mods have to balance giving me full liberty with how certain things make other people feel. I’m just saying I plan on reeling in certain aspects of my personality in deference to other people’s psychological space. Even if I don’t really get WHY people get upset I still want people to come on the forum and enjoy themselves. If they’re really bothered by what I’m saying then they’re not enjoying themselves and I want everyone to have a good time.
Quote:
Heavenly Blues : We don't want nobody telling us what to do. We don't want nobody pushing us around.
Preacher : I apologize. But, tell me, just what is it that you want to do?
Heavenly Blues : We wanna be free! We wanna be free to do what we wanna do. We wanna be free to ride! We wanna be free to ride our machines without being hassled by The Man. And we wanna get loaded. And we wanna have a good time. And that's what we're gonna do. We are gonna have a good time. We are gonna have a party.
SGR
02-05-2021 01:10 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by OccultHawk
(Post 2160780)
Preciate that sister!
On a semi-serious note, obviously I want MB to be a place where I can be me and write what I want to write but other people feel uncomfortable when I move too far in certain directions. It’s a really hard sell to convince me they should feel uncomfortable but it’s an easy sell that people DO feel uncomfortable whether I like it or not. I’m not like an everywhere should be a safe space for everyone type of liberal but I also think it’s totally reasonable for everyone to feel basically comfortable here. Naturally, I think everybody ought to cheer me on and tell me everything I do is awesome but the mods have to balance giving me full liberty with how certain things make other people feel. I’m just saying I plan on reeling in certain aspects of my personality in deference to other people’s psychological space. Even if I don’t really get WHY people get upset I still want people to come on the forum and enjoy themselves. If they’re really bothered by what I’m saying then they’re not enjoying themselves and I want everyone to have a good time.
:beer:
Marie Monday
02-05-2021 01:11 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by OccultHawk
(Post 2160780)
Preciate that sister!
On a semi-serious note, obviously I want MB to be a place where I can be me and write what I want to write but other people feel uncomfortable when I move too far in certain directions. It’s a really hard sell to convince me they should feel uncomfortable but it’s an easy sell that people DO feel uncomfortable whether I like it or not. I’m not like an everywhere should be a safe space for everyone type of liberal but I also think it’s totally reasonable for everyone to feel basically comfortable here. Naturally, I think everybody ought to cheer me on and tell me everything I do is awesome but the mods have to balance giving me full liberty with how certain things make other people feel. I’m just saying I plan on reeling in certain aspects of my personality in deference to other people’s psychological space. Even if I don’t really get WHY people get upset I still want people to come on the forum and enjoy themselves. If they’re really bothered by what I’m saying then they’re not enjoying themselves and I want everyone to have a good time.
Good. I appreciate that.
This is exactly what I've been trying to talk to you about. No one is saying people should feel uncomfortable, and I think it's pretty clear from the modding here that there is quite a lot of freedom about what can be said, but the goal is to make sure people can feel at ease. Trying to understand why people are upset is not essential, but it does help of course. Cheers for being serious and empathetic about this.
Trollheart
02-05-2021 02:23 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by OccultHawk
(Post 2160780)
Preciate that sister!
On a semi-serious note, obviously I want MB to be a place where I can be me and write what I want to write but other people feel uncomfortable when I move too far in certain directions. It’s a really hard sell to convince me they should feel uncomfortable but it’s an easy sell that people DO feel uncomfortable whether I like it or not. I’m not like an everywhere should be a safe space for everyone type of liberal but I also think it’s totally reasonable for everyone to feel basically comfortable here. Naturally, I think everybody ought to cheer me on and tell me everything I do is awesome but the mods have to balance giving me full liberty with how certain things make other people feel. I’m just saying I plan on reeling in certain aspects of my personality in deference to other people’s psychological space. Even if I don’t really get WHY people get upset I still want people to come on the forum and enjoy themselves. If they’re really bothered by what I’m saying then they’re not enjoying themselves and I want everyone to have a good time.
Welcome back man, missed ya! :beer:
This is a big step for you, and to be fair, one you probably needed to take a good while ago. As you say, sometimes it's not enough to say "I didn't mean it or I don't see why you're upset", it's understanding why the person is upset. Insulting or demeaning someone without meaning to is still insulting or demeaning them, and while you can't quite be held responsible for saying something you didn't know might offend, once it's pointed out to you, the man in you should (and hopefully will, from now on) realise it's wrong, apologise and make sure it doesn't happen again.
