Elton John Dies
 

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In all ****ing seriousness, when I was going down the line of new posts just now, I had a fleeting thought of making a "Bruce Dickinson dead at age *X*" thread. Uncanny.

Can't even imagine the ****storm. Dickinson dead of dick cancer. Medical personnel linked his lack of circumcision to his dick cancer.

This just in! Bruce Dickinson's death due to a Black Widow Spider bite to the head of his penis, which would have been prevented if only he'd had a protective foreskin which could have been easily removed using the teeth of any of the twelve porn stars pleasuring him at the time.

Sources say right before he passed his last words were, **** you Paul Di'anno.

Hey this is the thread for the fat flowery queen's death.
Take it to the fencing appreciation thread.

Is grandma porn really so popular that they'd be considered porn stars?

His family and long-time life partner, Rob Halford, ask that you respect their privacy in this time of tragedy.

Boy George: Elton was my inspiration. When I was sucking dick in my teens, I always threw on Tiny Dancer.

Billy Joel: WHO?

Liberace: Couldn't get ahold of him.

Madonna: When I was a young girl in Detroit, he really spoke to me. I was high on lacquer and gas fumes, but yeah. I used to love peeing on my feet in the shower listening to I'm still Standing, blah blah blah blah blah.

If that cunt does die and they re-release Candle In The Fucking Wind again............

I foresee a EJ compilation with collaborations from the likes of Jennifer Lopez, Coldplay, and One Direction. Jennifer Lopez sings Candle In The Wind, in three languages.

But seriously, if it came out that Bruce and Rob were lovers, wouldn't it be the biggest metal event of all time?

Totally shipping Dickford.

I will always remember Elton John for his performance at Lady Di's funeral. Maybe if he's lucky Westlife will sing Candle In The Wind for him at his funeral.

Princess Diana Funeral - Elton John - Candle In The Wind

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^ That's is so poignant, well said.

^That was bad.

Why don't we put this in the video that people will actually remember section of the site, away from whatever these hipster Radiohead bootlickers are about to post.

RIP Elton John

You'll be missed.

Not so much.

I just googled to read the report, and I keep reading that this is an Internet "celebrity death hoax"?? Thoughts?

Pretty sure Sir Elton is actually dead.

See OP for details.

It means Sir Elton is dead, obviously. Dumb bitch.

Started by someone called Urban Hat-something-or-other. What a dick! :laughing:

Crap man, we have ****ing missed you!

Music Banter is real life, so no, it's not a hoax I'm afraid.

I come to MB, therefore, I drink.

I like 'im.

So are you telling me he didn't pass away?
Hooray Elton John is still standing!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Urban troll masterclass. He's back, ladies and gentlemen. Make way! :)

What hoax?

I never said he was dead, I'm just preparing for when he is.

The people here are a little slow.

Must be their internet connection. It's keeping Elton alive.

Dr. Plankton in da house.

I make house calls, but they've yet to answer any of em.

Observe:

"HEY HOUSE!!!"

*silence*

See?

I already explained to you guys: we have internet here, but you have to queue for days to be allowed to use it, and it's strictly regulated by the hour.

"Fans were heartbroken today when the news broke that our beloved jester, The Batlord (real name unknown) passed away peacefully in his jeep. Sorry, sleep. Who wrote this? Their writing is atrocious. Fan tributes poured in as soon as the news broke".

Ozzy Osbourne: "The Bat what?"

Tom Araya: "We'll miss him. Who was he again?"

Joey de Maio: "The Batlord has gone to his prepared place in Valhalla with all the other heavy metal heroes like Lemmy and Qorthon. Hail, brother! OW! Watch what you're doing with that hot towel! I asked for a shave not to be scalded! Ow! Mommy!"

Batman, from the depths of the Batcave: "That's what happens when you take my name in vain. What? No, I had nothing to do with his death. This interview is over!"

Kesha: "WAAAAAAAAAAAA! He was going to be my special guy!"

Roxy: "So long Bat. You never did get to see my boobs. Thank god."

JWB: [long rambling diatribe which implicates the zionist conspiracy and Mossad in Batty's death]

Urban: "**** him. I hated all the bands he liked!"

Trollheart: "Bastard never finished our Batman journal!"

Unknown Soldier: "Who?"

Neapolitan: "Yes! Free at last!"

Please sign the book of condolences here... [URL not found]

That bastard ruined my life!