I was half asleep and noticed a tapping noise, looked up and his hand was in his pants and you could see it going up and down. I said wtf are you doing and he just said sorry man, weed makes you horny.

In high school my friend and I smoked some spice (back when it was K2) and some way higher quality herb than we were used to. We went back inside and I suddenly felt dirty and decided to take a shower so I pointed my friend to my room and told him to wait in there while I showered. I think I took a 30 minute shower, just tripping plastic monkey balls. When I finally come out I go back to my room to find that my friend was sitting on my bed, in the dark, just staring at nothing the whole time.

That sounds way worse than getting high and being smothered in kittens.

I got high and was smothered by water kittens.

Dude, real kittens. It's the holy grail of being stoned and completely out of it. I feel privileged to have experienced it. They're so fuzzy. Luckily my friend was so stoned he didn't even notice the time lapse, cause I said I'd be back in like a minute of something.

I live in a universe where both enjoyable things exist.

Let's just agree that everyone should smoke weed and cuddle baby animals.

lol

Huh. I always assumed that you beat it to death using your father as a club. Now I got it. It might not have been a joke after all.