Quote:
Originally Posted by The Batlord
Hit in the feels. Of all the things stopping me from improving my lot in life, one of the biggest is a complete lack of interest in doing anything else. My prediction since at least high school for how my life goes is either a bullet to the brain or ending up homeless, and I really have no optimism to speak of to convince myself otherwise. And so I coast, paying lip service to friends and family who try to get me to change when I know it's probably not going to happen, but I just don't have the heart or balls to tell them all that I just don't ****ing care anymore. It's just not motivating to imagine myself the same anxious, antisocial weirdo just with a decent salary and a nice TV, cause that's really the best I'm going to get.
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The problem with suicide is that when you start getting serious about it you realize that it's going to be really hard not to make it into to some kind of big ordeal. It takes a lot of get up and go. I wish it were easier to die through non-action instead of action. Like starving yourself instead of ingesting a poison. It's bull**** that it's so ****ing hard to have yourself put down as a simple medical procedure. Even that would be so much ****ing work. Shooting yourself seems easy until you find out how easy it is to **** up. Jump off a bridge. Yeah. You gotta drive there. Climb on the edge. Feel the wind. Look down. Heart races. Work work work.
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