When did the concept of death really, truly, sink in? - Music Banter Music Banter

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Old 06-14-2017, 11:27 PM   #11 (permalink)
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I can understand a dog's death being more profound that a human's. I've heard a lot of people say that. Dogs are easier to love. People are just so ****ty. It's really hard to love a person.
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Old 06-14-2017, 11:41 PM   #12 (permalink)
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Originally Posted by OccultHawk View Post
I can understand a dog's death being more profound that a human's. I've heard a lot of people say that. Dogs are easier to love. People are just so ****ty. It's really hard to love a person.
Come on man......... I'm old enough to have cried like **** over friends who have passed.

When Cindy from back east, who I'd known and loved since we were both 14, finally succumbed to cancer at the age of 50, I was devasted and was basically useless for quite a while.

I have two pictures of her and me on my fridge. One of me and her partying back east during my first trip back after moving, and another when she came out to San Diego for a visit.

EVERY time I see them I kiss my finger, touch her face, and remind her I love her.

I miss her like crazy.
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Old 06-14-2017, 11:44 PM   #13 (permalink)
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That's you. Different strokes.
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Old 06-14-2017, 11:50 PM   #14 (permalink)
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Quote:
Originally Posted by OccultHawk View Post
I can understand a dog's death being more profound that a human's. I've heard a lot of people say that. Dogs are easier to love. People are just so ****ty. It's really hard to love a person.
I could see my best friend's death as something that could **** me up pretty badly, but this is a good point.
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Old 06-14-2017, 11:55 PM   #15 (permalink)
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I've never had a dog feed me or give me place to stay. In fact, it's usually the opposite way around. And they never pay rent, and they **** on the floor. And the steal my food. Dogs are ****ing dicks just as much as people are.
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Lucem, you're right, it's silly to talk about what I would or wouldn't do IRL. Glad you brought it up. Maybe you should write an instrumental about it. I recommend a piano paired with a clarinet. With ambient sounds of you hanging from your shower curtain you ****ing failure.

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Old 06-14-2017, 11:56 PM   #16 (permalink)
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"It's really hard to love a person."

Is a good point?

100% ****ed up.
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Old 06-14-2017, 11:56 PM   #17 (permalink)
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I've never had a stray human try to bite me. They usually ask for money.

Edit: "But dogs are adorable!" So are raver girls and they are also good at giving head. Dogs won't get me drugs.
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Lucem, you're right, it's silly to talk about what I would or wouldn't do IRL. Glad you brought it up. Maybe you should write an instrumental about it. I recommend a piano paired with a clarinet. With ambient sounds of you hanging from your shower curtain you ****ing failure.

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Old 06-15-2017, 12:01 AM   #18 (permalink)
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Chula Vista View Post
"It's really hard to love a person."

Is a good point?
Yep.

Quote:
100% ****ed up.
Yep. Still reflects how I feel.
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Old 06-15-2017, 12:04 AM   #19 (permalink)
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Ooo I'm glad you made this thread!

Periodically I'll wake up in a panic at 3 am and become suddenly, viscerally aware of my own mortality. I feel like in regular daily life, it never really truly sinks in past a certain extent. Whereas when I'm in an in-between state (when I have a high fever, when I'm half-asleep, or having a depersonalization/derealization episode, during which my 'self' feels basically nonexistent and my body faraway) I feel my eventual death more acutely, if that makes any sense. As opposed to simply accepting it and pondering it on an intellectual level. I suspect that the closest one could come to understanding it would be via drug-induced ego death or.. I don't know, meditating in a sensory deprivation tank or something (which I for one would love to do.)

But, anyway, for me it never sank in until my childhood best friend's mom died of brain cancer when we were 13 years old. I adored her, and it took a good few months before her death truly hit me. Before that, it felt like a dream; right after she died everything felt very quiet and faraway and I was more numbed than anything-- her death/death in general still didn't feel real.

Oh, and when I briefly worked at a nursing home I was constantly surrounded by death; death is just in the air in those places (even though no one actually died while I worked there, some of them were close to death. There was this one lady who was so, so sweet; she spoke in a high-pitched raspy voice, and always needed us to rearrange her pillows and stuffed animals 50 times per night while she smiled serenely.) So that occasionally gave me a decent amount of existential unease but not always in a bad way.

Strangely, when my grandmother died I didn't really feel anything, which sounds horrible but there you go. I was more upset when another friend's parent died, because when I'd seen him last, he kept asking me questions about death and god while he chain-smoked in the garage as if he knew on some level he would die soon, and it was heartbreaking to remember it.
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Old 06-15-2017, 12:09 AM   #20 (permalink)
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Immaturity, snark, and sarcasm reigns supreme once again on this forum with a thread that starts out serious.

Typical modus operandi around here.

Maybe someday............. ah **** it.

Frown, OH, and others come in to snark on me in 5..., 4..., 3..., 2...
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