Cuthbert

Yeah course hasn't everyone? I have a cat now and I had a dog who died when he was about 16/17 and I was 19 so knew it all my life. A great pet, and yeah I was upset. But it's a pet. It's not like losing a family member unless you aren't close to your family or we are talking some distant relative you don't even speak to.

IMO of course.

Frownland

I don't like any of my family members beyond my sister and have had nothing but love for my dogs, so I guess you could say that it's worse than losing a family member.

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OccultHawk

Death is heavy no matter how you slice it but any sort of immortality myth to me is much more disturbing than reality. I don't want to rush it but it's nice to know it ends.

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The Batlord

As much as life sucks and I'm a maladjusted cluster**** the thought of ceasing to exist and losing knowledge of everything I've seen and felt just feels like the most unfair cosmic joke ever. Last night I was thinking about how it's kind of ****ed that I'm forgetting much of my high school life. High school was basically one minor trauma after another that I despised, but it was also an important part of my life, and I kind of mourn for that deranged kid who was sure everything would get better one day. He's dying and many of his experiences and feelings are going to be lost to me forever, and considering just how much he went through during those years it just doesn't seem fair.

And what about the future? I'll probably never know if the human race reaches past our solar system, or if we ever have a unified world government, or if Batman ever marries Catwoman. There's just so much cool **** to know at any given time that the thought of missing out on an infinite stretch of time after I die is galling. What right do you people have to do things if I'm not around to see it?

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Chula Vista

Or if your wife of 35 years knows how to correctly settle your affairs so she's taken care of. Or not getting to know your grandchildren. Or not being able to take care of your son anymore. Or putting an extremly obsessive burden on your beautiful girlfriend you met in 1980. Or crushing your parents, sisters, and friends.

In the OP I mentioned the doctor saying "he's gone" and how it immediately crushed me. Death is not about you. It's about those you leave behind and what you meant to them from their very core and the hole you leave behind.

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“The fact that we live at the bottom of a deep gravity well,
on the surface of a gas covered planet going around a nuclear fireball 90 million miles away
and think this to be normal is obviously some indication of how skewed our perspective tends to be.”

OccultHawk

The good news is you won't care. You won't even won't care.

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The Batlord

And that's creepy as **** to me. I imagine dying being me in a hospital bed, having the most severe panic attack ever, desperately clutching at anybody within reach and begging them for help. No part of me wants any of it, no matter how depressed I might get. I mean, maybe a little part, or else I wouldn't be depressed.

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OccultHawk

When you get older and you start to wear down I think most people get more comfortable with it. A little different for everyone I guess. It sounds like you have a really strong survival instinct. Over time it should start to feel more right.

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Behold the Writing of THE LEGEND:

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The Batlord

I guess I'm just a narcissist. Or having never had a friend or family member I was at all close to die makes death into more of an idea than a reality. But most of my thoughts of my own death are pretty self-involved.

Quite possibly. I might not have much going on or much hope for a better life, but for the moment the thought of listening to the next album I've been fiending for, or the next comic book that might blow my mind, or that next game of disc golf, or having lunch with my one friend in life, etc, basically makes any thought of suicide seem like robbing myself of more awesome ****, even if many people would consider those goals to be pretty shallow. Death just seems as boring as it scary tbh.

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Chula Vista

I'm ready for it. I just worry about those who will still be breathing after I'm gone. 20 years ago me, Linda, Sherri and Mike moved across the country all alone. Made us ridiculously close for obvious reasons. We don't have a single extended family member closer than 2,000 miles from us.

I've always been the foundation. The brick for the 4 of us.

You get what I'm saying?

__________________

“The fact that we live at the bottom of a deep gravity well,
on the surface of a gas covered planet going around a nuclear fireball 90 million miles away
and think this to be normal is obviously some indication of how skewed our perspective tends to be.”