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-   -   Cheating... (https://www.musicbanter.com/lounge/90175-cheating.html)

WWWP 09-15-2017 10:36 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Lucem Ferre (Post 1874312)
If polyamory is people that love multiple people rather than one, then yes it kind of fits in that area. Maybe that concept is new to her and she really never realized that love doesn't have to be monogamous like we're taught all our lives. Is that really a controversial way of thinking about it or do you people think I'm justifying her cheating or what?
No, not controversial, it's just a complex and ambiguous topic. You're not necessarily wrong, it's just also more nuanced than that. I tend to think that all humans are generally capable of (and maybe even prone to?) romantic love for more than one partner, but whether or not you engage in a polyamorous lifestyle vs a monogamous one is more a matter of preference and logistics than it is an identity.

Zhanteimi 09-15-2017 11:57 PM
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WWWP 09-16-2017 12:25 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Mord (Post 1874360)
The issue here isn't polyamory. That's it own issue. The issue here is lying (cheating).
I agree.

Lucem Ferre 09-16-2017 12:49 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Mord (Post 1874360)
The issue here isn't polyamory. That's it own issue. The issue here is lying (cheating).
I didn't deny that I actually pointed that out. Just saying that maybe something that should be discussed so things like this can be avoided. Like he should bring it up to her. Unless she just likes to **** but has no feelings for him just that other dude.

Zhanteimi 09-16-2017 01:28 AM
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DwnWthVwls 09-16-2017 06:19 AM
I hate when people say that.. just because you cheat on someone doesn't mean you're a perpetual cheater. She's known him for what 17 years, and her new BF for 8 months. You guys make an awful lot of assumptions about character for having one side of the story and not a clue as to who any of the parties involved actually are as people.

Sometimes you make connections with people that have significant impact and meaning in your life and you find your emotions really torn. Less bias and shaming more advice giving with the understanding you know **** all about the reality of the situation..

Zhanteimi 09-16-2017 06:25 AM
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WWWP 09-16-2017 12:42 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by DwnWthVwls (Post 1874387)
I hate when people say that.. just because you cheat on someone doesn't mean you're a perpetual cheater. She's known him for what 17 years, and her new BF for 8 months. You guys make an awful lot of assumptions about character for having one side of the story and not a clue as to who any of the parties involved actually are as people.

Sometimes you make connections with people that have significant impact and meaning in your life and you find your emotions really torn. Less bias and shaming more advice giving with the understanding you know **** all about the reality of the situation..
Good point. There are a lot of reasons people cheat and they are not all inherently malicious or even a deal breaker imo.

I'm interested to know the answer to stephen's question. v

Quote:
Originally Posted by Stephen (Post 1874322)
So you two were involved before her current relationship? How did you feel about her meeting someone else?

Ninetales 09-16-2017 01:03 PM
ive gone through something similar and I can empathize with you wanting to continue screwing/keeping the friendship alive. but I think you even know that it will end in a tire fire. if you keep fucking, it's only temporarily extending the illusion of friendship (especially if you do in fact have feelings beyond FWB).

imo going back to just being friends seems impossible. it's either all or nothing.

The Batlord 09-16-2017 02:39 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by ricky ricardo (Post 1874472)
Yes, let us not foul the pristine image of the group of people known as "cheaters."
Cause really we're just here to see if TM is ****ing his cousin.

The Batlord 09-16-2017 03:07 PM
Those sound like the kids your parents warned you about.

Zhanteimi 09-16-2017 04:09 PM
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Cuthbert 09-17-2017 11:19 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by karl marx (Post 1874839)
i sort of feel for him on the one hand... on the other hand, he's 20 and this sounds like the first bitch he ever caught feelings for.

TM, every man goes through the first loss. it's a right of passage. there will come a time in the not so distant future when you are dumbfounded at your former self for how hung up you got on this one (most likely mediocre) broad.
^ this is spot on imo.

Zhanteimi 09-19-2017 04:21 PM
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Oriphiel 10-21-2017 09:07 AM
Yo Vi, whatever happened with this?

Tristan_Geoff 10-24-2017 10:16 AM
:(

Cuthbert 10-24-2017 10:45 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Oriphiel (Post 1886456)
Yo Vi, whatever happened with this?
Still doing sex at her.


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