What Will They Say About You When You're Gone?
 

Reading the RIP thread just now gave me this idea, that it might be fun (shut up! It might!) to consider what people here will/would write or say about us when we've shuffled off this mortal coil. Obviously, nobody take offence, as you're supposed to be dead when anyone says these things, and the dead, to my knowledge anyway, can't take offence. All in fun yadda yadda yadda. Give details if you like of how certain people went to meet their maker.

Oh, and I already know that one of mine will be "At least he can't make any more stupid ****ing threads!" so don't bother with that one. ;)

I'd like to think that it'd end in a great roast (both here and irl) but I bet everyone's going to disrespect my memory by saying that I was a nice guy and that it came too soon.

"Yes, he did in fact lifts beds off the ground with his mind."

Are we supposed to be posting about ourselves or other members?

"Frownland is still a prick. Look at him, all smug in his coffin."

"After all of those years of him being alive, now this? 100% hypocrite."

"Anybody remember that MacShizzle guy?"

"..."

*unrelated argument erupts between Chula and Frown*

"This party sucks! And where's Chula's hot daughter?"

For the longest time, I had my niece and nephews convinced that I'd made plans to get my body stuffed by a taxidermist when I die.

"We couldn't get the mountain goats to play at her funeral so here is a local grateful dead cover band."

"I know I'm just talking to myself but it's still tradition to ask if anyone has any words to say about Charles."

If someone performed a roast at a funeral, that would be savage LOL.

:laughing:

U guys r hilars.

"Technically we're not sure he's dead but that last storm hit Puerto Rico pretty hard. This funeral will be retracted upon his presenting two forms of ID."

"Blank? Is that the guy who believed the Earth was flat?"

"His cause of death remains unknown but we strongly suspect reptoids. Goodbye, sweet [Merit]."

I promise - I PROMISE! - I will not say that.
Beds being his pet stick insect.
Either/or
Who might be saying that? Answers on a torn off piece of Robert Plant's shirt to...
Sounds vaguely cannibalistic, but hey: why waste good meat say I? :laughing:

“Should we have a wake or something for OccultHawk”
“I never really knew him that well to be honest”
“Me neither to tell the truth”

“How exactly did he die?”
“I’m not sure. Maybe in his sleep.”

“Goddamn he had a lot of records”

“I knew he wasn’t ever going to pay me back”

“Don’t tell my husband but he was the only man who could make me *** strictly dickly”

“I can’t believe we all ****ed him. Well, we have that in common.”

TH: A true Irishman. He couldn't reach bottom, but he raised hell with the sides. And yes, Chula went home with him.

Christ we’re inbred.

How sad is it that I 100% get that joke?

This is like 95% of my social life.

Somebody kill me.

Good joke though.

I refuse to have a tired old Chula anecdote trotted out at my funeral. That's it: I just won't die. Now look what you've all done. You only have yourselves to blame.

"Alas, poor Trollheart, he washed down an Ambien with a rum and coke and drove his Winnebago off a cliff while fast asleep."

:rofl:

This one's great. I love everybody's so far.

Batlord's neighbours: "It used to be an alright house until they had to break down a wall to get some dead fat dude out."

:laughing:

"And on the 10th anniversary of the IRS headquarters suicide bombing we consider the baffling manifesto left by the madman known only as [Merit]."

"Poor Kiiii, he threw a bitch fit that was so massive that he had a heart attack and died, or he listened to too much Nightwish"

They’ll inform the police chief, who will breathe a sigh of relief.
He’ll say I was a malanderer, a badlander, and a thief.

“Who?”

Ha ha! Joke's on you! I can't drive! Nor have I ever drunk rum. Although, that Ambien does look tempting. And sure, how hard can it be to drive anyway? Edge of a cliff is a good place to learn, surely...?
:clap:
I heard that nobody in Burger King even noticed he hadn't turned up for work till one (retarded) employee suddenly realised, three days later, that he was wasting his pearls of what he saw as wisdom on a dumpster. And then all those cases of food poisoning over there. Surely not related? He did always say he'd get them all back...
Hopefully the former. We wouldn't want him to have suffered.
Nice! Cave4Eva! :thumb: :beer:

Rum is sh*t imo.

Have you ever drank beer?

Edit: Navy Rum that is. The dark stuff.

Drank Smithwick's, Harp, Fosters (all lagers/ales I know; what's the difference anyway?) and I think maybe Carlsberg or Heineken? Also tried Guinness. Did not like it. Like drinking treacle. Of the above, only Smithwick's made the grade. But I haven't had a drink in, what, ten, twelve years now?

Chula, Chula, emotions run amok.
He surely was an ornery old ****.
On a first name basis with most Alpine cops.
But have to admit, guy had some decent chops.
The revealing mass retain, he just couldn't refrain.

Then one day he drank too many rum and cokes.
Went to sleep on his back, big big mistake folks.
Once the retching started, his fate was surely sealed.
When found 5 days later the vomit had all congealed.
A solid liver to his mental grace, in the end, such a disgrace.

Hey hey, where's your 401K?
Your kids stole the camper and drove it away.
You liked Yes and Genesis and really liked Devin
And now you're climbing the stairway to Heaven.

"He lived. And then died."

"I can't believe Trollheart's sister outlived him. Guess she's ****ed."

She won't. How many times must I tell you: murder/suicide!

"I can't believe Trollheart's sister outlived him. I guess he shorted her on the strychnine."