When I was a young boy
My father took me into the city
To see a marching band
He said, "Son, when you grow up
Would you be the savior of the broken
The beaten and the damned?"
He said, "Will you defeat them?
Your demons, and all the non-believers
The plans that they have made?"
"Because one day, I'll leave you
A phantom to lead you in the summer
To join the black parade"

I have an entire journal for this exact thing.

Let me be frank: when I was 20 years old, I was married and had a kid. I was working long shifts at a factory job just trying to get by and it was getting rough dude. I couldn't afford food, I was getting evicted, I was absolutely ****ed. I was desperate, hungry, sleep-deprived, and delusional to the point of wanting to kill my family, both to protect them from the struggle of poverty and to protect myself from it. In a feverish rush I picked up a gun, walked across the room, pointed it at the six month old baby in the crib, and fired. I turned and shot my wife next. After that, I ****ing lost it, weeping, teardrops pouring down my cheeks. So much remorse, shouting what have I done? I pointed the gun at my head and ended it. I was just a corpse on the ground with my family. Then I went to hell where I'm at today and I was like "aaaahhhh". Btw you're all here too.

Explains a lot. A heck of a lot. The quality (or lack there-of) of your music being front and center. Should have just shot off your fingers and spared us all the subsequent grief.

*snooze*

One thing that I will concede is that the construct of my music that exists in your head is more powerful than anything that I could muster.

Deleting because I'm an idiot

Yeah I didn't finish this cause I knew what it was by the third sentence.

Damn. And I thought that I was being so subtle.

Wow, that is pretty rough wishing. I would never wish that on anyone.

The other day I saw a man with no hands, just two hooks, not even a hand-like prosthetic, not that they would be any more useful. I couldn't imagine what his life would be like. As a musician it shook me to the core. I thought I should be more grateful for what I have.

I would never joke around like that. Even if you're make-believe Chula pretending, that's pretty rough **** you're imagining there.

If I lost my hands I would just get robot hands which can do things that are infinitely crazier and more irritating to the likes of TH and Chula.