Dear Batlord, ...
 

Come to me with your pathetic need for life advice.

I want residuals.

Dear Batlord,

What do I do if I'm lonely but also don't want to spend time with people?

Thanks,
Lonely But I Hate People

The obvious answer is to join an internet forum, but **** you, as that is clearly an answer merely to stave off the demons for another day or another week. How do you seek human interaction while not spending time with people you don't want to spend time with?

The answer is obvious. Volunteer. Spend time at soup kitchens or some such. Spend your time helping a fellow man who will value your time simply because you are offering it in a way that anyone who isn't in desperate need of it will not. But always remember your phone. If the bums think that you are truly "available" to them then they will value your time less. But if you make sure to always check your Facebook or Instagram account they will know that while you value them as people you do not necessarily consider them as the most valuable person at any given moment, and so they will know to step up or step off.

In this way you will gain valuable human interaction while never letting anyone take you for granted. Bums can't take anyone for granted. Not even their family.

I want lightsaber duals but we can't all get what we want.

Dear Batlord,

Do you want fries with that?

Sincerely,
Mord

Dear Batlord,

why would anyone want life advice from someone like you?

Sincerely,
A concerned citizen

Why are you so fascinated with racist and nazi **** when your own personal views are in complete opposition of them?

I want fries with everything including fries and including funerals.

Here's some advice: here in America we capitalize all letters at the beginnings of sentences.

Some people just want to watch the Jews burn.

Capitalization after a comma?
You monsters.