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Old 03-04-2019, 08:15 PM   #1 (permalink)
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Default Dear Batlord, ...

Come to me with your pathetic need for life advice.
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The Batlord is amazing man. He loves some fine woman and he gets horny easily. What is better than that.
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Old 03-04-2019, 08:17 PM   #2 (permalink)
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I want residuals.
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Old 03-04-2019, 08:22 PM   #3 (permalink)
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Dear Batlord,

What do I do if I'm lonely but also don't want to spend time with people?

Thanks,
Lonely But I Hate People
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Old 03-04-2019, 08:37 PM   #4 (permalink)
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The obvious answer is to join an internet forum, but **** you, as that is clearly an answer merely to stave off the demons for another day or another week. How do you seek human interaction while not spending time with people you don't want to spend time with?

The answer is obvious. Volunteer. Spend time at soup kitchens or some such. Spend your time helping a fellow man who will value your time simply because you are offering it in a way that anyone who isn't in desperate need of it will not. But always remember your phone. If the bums think that you are truly "available" to them then they will value your time less. But if you make sure to always check your Facebook or Instagram account they will know that while you value them as people you do not necessarily consider them as the most valuable person at any given moment, and so they will know to step up or step off.

In this way you will gain valuable human interaction while never letting anyone take you for granted. Bums can't take anyone for granted. Not even their family.
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Calvin & Hobbes
To evaluate my character my immediate pleasure is being pitted against my future greed!
Quote:
Originally Posted by Franco Pepe Kalle View Post
The Batlord is amazing man. He loves some fine woman and he gets horny easily. What is better than that.
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Old 03-04-2019, 08:44 PM   #5 (permalink)
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I want residuals.
I want lightsaber duals but we can't all get what we want.
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Calvin & Hobbes
To evaluate my character my immediate pleasure is being pitted against my future greed!
Quote:
Originally Posted by Franco Pepe Kalle View Post
The Batlord is amazing man. He loves some fine woman and he gets horny easily. What is better than that.
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Old 03-05-2019, 12:03 AM   #6 (permalink)
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Dear Batlord,

Do you want fries with that?

Sincerely,
Mord
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Old 03-05-2019, 01:18 AM   #7 (permalink)
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Dear Batlord,

why would anyone want life advice from someone like you?

Sincerely,
A concerned citizen
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Old 03-05-2019, 10:52 PM   #8 (permalink)
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Why are you so fascinated with racist and nazi **** when your own personal views are in complete opposition of them?
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Lucem, you're right, it's silly to talk about what I would or wouldn't do IRL. Glad you brought it up. Maybe you should write an instrumental about it. I recommend a piano paired with a clarinet. With ambient sounds of you hanging from your shower curtain you ****ing failure.

Art Is Dead. Buy My ****.
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Old 03-06-2019, 03:07 AM   #9 (permalink)
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Zhanteimi View Post
Dear Batlord,

Do you want fries with that?

Sincerely,
Mord
I want fries with everything including fries and including funerals.

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Originally Posted by grindy View Post
Dear Batlord,

why would anyone want life advice from someone like you?

Sincerely,
A concerned citizen
Here's some advice: here in America we capitalize all letters at the beginnings of sentences.

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Originally Posted by Lucem Ferre View Post
Why are you so fascinated with racist and nazi **** when your own personal views are in complete opposition of them?
Some people just want to watch the Jews burn.
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To evaluate my character my immediate pleasure is being pitted against my future greed!
Quote:
Originally Posted by Franco Pepe Kalle View Post
The Batlord is amazing man. He loves some fine woman and he gets horny easily. What is better than that.
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Old 03-06-2019, 04:38 AM   #10 (permalink)
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Capitalization after a comma?
You monsters.
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