The Relationship Thread

[goldendoodle]

Ooh that's an interesting point/comparison Bat. (God I desperately need an e-reader.... I have so many hoarded books that I wish to read but they're all PDFs and I hate reading on my laptop)

Originally Posted by Lucem Ferre

I've never been cyber stalked by a creepy adult in my adolescence though.

I wonder how many women on this very forum have an experience of genuine fear due to a man stalking or being overly aggressive.

I have soooooo much experience with that. So much. Glad I finally taught myself EMDR to help with the resulting trauma and fear (obviously it's not the same as going to an EMDR trained/certified therapist, but whatever, I'm poor and some therapists have said it's fine to do on your own if that's your only option)

Anyway yes, what Marie said, and also

Originally Posted by elphenor

I don't normally say "but men too!"

but men are also taught to get all of their worth from the admiration of the opposite gender...it is very toxic

Yes I'm aware but I didn't have time to write a full, thorough dissertation-length post covering all of THAT too in part because I am not male. I wasn't starting a who-has-it-worse contest, I was just talking about a distinctly female experience that IMO MAY POSSIBLY feel more degrading, punishing, confusing and icky than the kind of social conditioning --specifically the kind relating to how one views their body and how one should exist within/decorate their body-- boys and young men experience. But yes it's toxic all around as Marie said. I am not negating men's own uniquely horrible struggles in our toxic clown world merely by talking about some specific thing women commonly experience.

Aside from all that, humans in general have a tendency to want to seek out outside sources to derive their self-worth/self-esteem from rather than within themselves/more healthy sources, so. I'm obviously aware of the obvious things, mr obvious.