Quote:
Originally Posted by elphenor
I don't know if this is ****ty to say but if a woman says she's had abusive partners...Damaged Goods
very likely if you're kind to them they will not want that anyway
all of love and romance is a sham, but it's convenient to have one steady partner I suppose
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I think that's way too harsh a judgement. I agree that people who have lots of abusive partners are generally damaged, either to begin with (childhood trauma) or because of those relaionships, but that doesn't mean they can't be wonderful people, or make great partners. We're all damaged in some way and have our user manuals, (some more complicated than others) but not necessarily in a harmful way. Some people turn the trauma around too. And they might be in a process of healing and be ready to have kind partners; breaking the cycle of abuse is possible, but not if no one gives you a chance.
@WWWP I do think the 'I'm not ready for a relationship because of my abusive ex' is a red flag, but I can't judge, like Charles said. Just be careful, even if you're not calling it a relationship or if you're comfortable with not being monogamous. Sounds like you're being sensible enough about it though.
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