What sort of dumb business ventures would you invest in if you were obscenely rich?
 

..Impractical/dumb/frivolous ones or just very time-consuming odd projects that would be satisfying to no one but you. Things like that. I think about this A LOT. For instance...

I don't get the appeal of those really extreme sort of haunted houses (the kind with chainsaw men and being grabbed physically and just repeated sensory overload basically). They just seem so boring. Why not create a more REAL/mundane feeling environment, and also, keep the guests in there much much longer, and focus more on slow-burn psychological torture instead?
There could still be plenty of traditional horror house elements, I suppose, and even physical stuff/bombardment, just less overt. I guess essentially what I'm imagining is a large Victorian-gothic manor (an actual house of some sort) meets benign MK-Ultra meets puzzles meets utterly ordinary-seeming New England bed & breakfast environment meets BDSM dungeon. Is that too much to ask?

Or like. The above type of 'haunted house' that, on the outside AND inside (on the surface) looks literally like an Applebees of Chili's or something. Except you can't leave (you have to escape/solve an endless array of puzzles) and the waiters become gradually more menacing and break you down psychologically until you're a delirious mess (but a tipsy one with heartburn) and then the actual setting/theme reveals itself. And so on and so forth. And ofc the music would gradually become more and more distorted until it sounds like an unholy noise-y mish-mash of katy perry, jimmy buffet, and Swans. I am so burdened by all my amazing ideas....

Obscenely rich?

I’d buy trendy condos evict everyone and turn them into free housing.

I’d buy restaurants and convert them into a coops and teach people about consensus decision making.

I’d buy huge plots of land in cities across the country and hire environmentally minded people to organize community gardens.

I’d start free schools in ghettos that actually taught poor kids who want to learn and rec center day cares for kids who didn’t and call that school too. More complicated but along those lines.

I’d buy churches and raze them.

I’d buy politicians and get free public transportation everywhere.

I’d buy clinics and subsidize them and make them free.

I’d pay off police unions and have them police correctly.

I’d have real legal defense teams for poor people and I’d buy off judges.

I’d fund the **** out of groups like BLM and antifa with the mission of making suburbs unlivable.

I’d buy every private prison in the country and close them. I’d pay off whoever it took to pardon all the non-violent offenders.

I’d buy fast food chains and convert them into vegan coops.

I'd sell cigs to teenagers

lol

I would build an amplified house with instruments built into the walls.

Oh gosh I completely forgot I made this thread. Usually when I start making a thread late at night I end up closing the tab and telling myself "No."

Anyway good ideas everyone. Except for Hawk-- you're supposed to share frivolous, unnecessary ideas, not useful ones.

Speaking of things built into the walls, I've always wondered why more rich people with their ultra luxe bathrooms don't ever incorporate giant floor to ceiling aquariums.
I think I've mentioned this before, but I'd very much like to have a giant bathtub carved out of quartz or onyx.

I also often fantasize about creating a roller disco. Drugs would be allowed. There would of course be goth/80s industrial and/or french coldwave nights also (I don't even know how to roller skate so I'm not sure what this fixation is about) as well as occasional Britney Spears nights (without warning) aND (forgot what I was going to type). And a jellyfish aquarium with blue velvet couches. Yes this would basically be built for me, personally to skate around in alone while cackling to myself in glee.

Also, instead of a cat cafe, a golden retriever cafe (yes I know there would be hair everywhere but it could be managed somehow). The golden retrievers would each have extensive back stories/lore that I invent and they would also be the waiters, ofc. (They'd bring people their muffin order in a little bag, as well as throw pillows, or whatever else they wished to bring and you would be obligated to accept it graciously and give them lots of pets as a reward) And instead of having the typical cat cafe aesthetic I'd want it to be more homey, with a fireplace and such. Alternately: miniature donkeys.

AND-- I personally don't think this is impractical, but others do-- a 24 hour chinese buffet (PLUS made to order tacos AND waffles) that ALSO has an arcade with a bar. (And yes I know casinos exist but I hate them, so.) There would also be a few private special Depression Eating booths for lone diners who just want to gorge in solitude while watching things on their tablet in a disassociated state.

I also wish to have my own labyrinth. Just a labyrinth, nothing special. (I suppose if I wanted I could occasionally charge people an absurd entry fee and call it "Silent Meditation Labyrinth Day Retreat" or something with lots of new-age jargon thrown in the pamphlet, as well as various words and phrases that rich upper class kooky white people like/feel comforted by.)

Sorry Chio

Capitalist scum. The lot of you.

A toilet that photographs your turds after you poop and uploads the images to a website where people rank them.

A clothing company that sold only easy to wear, easy to clean cosplay at sub-Walmart prices to flood the world and turn everywhere into Comic Con all the time.

I wouldn't ask for much, just a personal assistant with a boombox who follows me everywhere and blasts Rebel Girl to announce my presence whenever I enter a room

That's perfectly valid Marie!!

Honestly that would be way better than Small Town Racist Mom attire (jean jacket bedazzled with a cross or fleur de lis on the back, weird capri pants, and a shirt featuring a live laugh love-type slogan except more jesus-y and weirdly passive aggressive) and all the other boring stuff people wear nowadays. Your clothing company should also sell cloaks. Cloaks are such a sensible outerwear choice, yet can't be worn without people assuming you're a renfaire person.

omg I'd walk around permanently cosplaying as Spike from BtVS. I mean, I should do that anyway. I'm going to look for long leather coats.

Afaic Renfair attire counts as cosplay. It doesn't just have to be pop culture ****. I don't know how I'd make easy to wear and clean Roman Centurian armor but if I can't have that then I'm taking my ball and going home.

I wrack my brain but I don’t think I really want anything especially frivolous. Maybe a private jet even thought that would be extremely gratuitous. My dog and I could travel safely and we could chill out in places with nice views. An extremely proficient body guard for me and my dogs would also be nice. Like nothing I didn’t want getting anywhere near me ever no matter what.

I already cosplay as Willow all the time without meaning to.

Ohhh okay. I absolutely NEED literally all the armor

@Hawk same here, except that I would love to live in an elaborate treehouse with electricity and everything, I suppose that would be wildly expensive to build

goofily clad early seasons Willow or witch chique later seasons, or both?

I’ve thought of that.

Or even just a regular treehouse would be really awesome.

True, but I don't think I could live like that permanently. I'd hate not having electricity and water, although I've always had detailed fantasies about living primitively by myself in the woods

Both!! Sometimes even a terrible combination of both. (and of course I just remembered I packed my sweater vest to wear for thanksgiving.)

I, too want a treehouse. Or a tree yurt. There's apparently a lot of nicer treehouse airbnbs out there, too, Marie (I look at them often, bitterly)

A little cabin with a fireplace and a porch and a treehouse you could just chill in but only took a few minutes to climb down the ladder and back to the cabin to **** or whatever. That’s good enough isn’t it? You could bring a battery operated lantern. Put a cot and a sleeping bag in there. Bring a charged phone for tunes. A chair for bird and squirrel watching.

Ugh I'm jealous of your wardrobe, even though Willow clothes wouldn't suit me (I wish)
1000x YES! And I'd have a hammock in it, I love those things. Sleeping outside in a hammock in the summer >>>>>>

Tree houses are sweet but I raise you an undersea base.

All armor will come in women's sizes with both boob armor and non-stupid variants.

Definitely better than a cot and farther from the creepycrawlies. Good idea.

King size sex swing.

I can't ever read 'sex swing' without immediately thinking of that old paparazzi photo of Cara Delevingne and Ashley Benson carrying a sex swing box into their mansion (they were dating at the time)

Oh don't be jealous, I can't even wear half of it because I'm too fat now (it's all a size too small). Nowadays I usually just wear jeans, combat boots and a vintage sweater of some sort. AND I DISAGREE; I can totally see you in a Dark Willow outfit easily!!

Also yes hammocks are 1000% necessary. Maybe with a canopy type thing over it to help keep out bugs. (very necessary here in the swamplands)

Hawk's last post reminded me of my dream house which would include, ofc, an impressive library with a ladder in it leading to a small loft area where there would be even MORE books and then THAT little area would lead to a secret (well, probably not secret, as I'd constantly be bragging about it) observatory that has a little bridge connected to it leading to my treehouse/tree cottage and so on & so forth

A mosquito net.

Well yes but also with something else over that, so that the hammock could become a cocoon if one wanted.

ooh I'd love to wear a Dark Willow outfit!
And the house sounds like an absolute dream whoa

There's gotta be a way to pump enough money into genetic engineering to make it so that your skin absorbs light and you become a human black hole.

Truly the ideal form.

I mean you're then required to become either a supervillain or a serial killer but that's just a side benefit.

Becoming a supervillain or serial killer seems inevitable if one is obscenely rich for a long enough time. (Taylor Swift, for instance, has serial killer vibes. Lesbian horse girl serial killer vibes to be exact)

Aside from becoming an actual black hole it would also be nice to have a giant powered exoskeleton made out of some super strange and very spooky and scary material. Then I'd be very fast and very impressive and everyone would clap and be impressed and frightened. (Even as a supervillain I'd still want validation/to be impressive but still scary and frightening!!! It would be hard for me, a muppet of a person, to be scary and frightening so I'd have to utilize all sorts of suits and theatrics and tricks and voice changers etc. I'd very much like to, for instance, press a button which would then instantly eject TONS of black salamanders out of my cloak/coat sleeves and things of that nature)

Would definitely also need several suits of armor, as I mentioned. Not sure what kinds.. I'd want both historically accurate ones AND very ornate, surreal/sci-fi ish ones, like something you'd see in that movie The Cell (which had AMAZING costuming, same designer that did Bram Stoker's Dracula costumes annnnd uhm I cannot recall what else. They're dead now). Well, I guess I should say "costumes" not suits of armor. Idk. I just very much like the idea of noisily clanking around in heavy armor at some social function while everyone sighs wearily and tries to ignore me.

I'd also like to travel via a mechanical chicken like the gnomes get to in World of Warcraft.

Hire a writer whose job it is to write fanfiction about you and anyone real or fictional that you have a crush on.

Omg that would not make you a black hole Charles *screams in physics*

https://media.tenor.com/images/b33f6....gif?ctx=share

It's called poetic license.

What if the the new DNA makes you sufficiently massively?

https://media3.giphy.com/media/5xtDa...A3Qc/giphy.gif

Well sure, as long as it doesn't make you expand too. Enough mass within a certain size = black hole

*snicker*