innerspaceboy

Spent the day at my wife's parents house in the suburbs, and it's always a massive culture shock because they have a television and several hours of each holiday are spent in front of the set.

I've mentioned before that I've seen very, very little tv after 1999 so it's always overwhelming and often stupefying what I see when I'm over there.

Please understand - this is a household whose ultimate favorite works of cinema are Waterworld and Independence Day. (I am being totally serious.)

So tonight's film was Batman vs Superman, and holy shnikies was it a trainwreck. From the 45 minutes I was able to endure, there were several mind-bending flaws with the picture.

First off, who the hell thought it was a good idea to cast Ben Affleck as Batman?! Or frankly, any of the rest of the cast? Was this a direct-to-video sequel in the franchise? The acting was appallingly overdramatic. The cinematography endlessly jerky handheld nonsense which nauseated the viewer more than it created any sort of suspense. And the storyline was painfully contrived to the point of being comical, (no pun intended).

Each of the scenes where Bruce was using his supposed "advanced" computer system was baffling in that his user interface is apparently trapped in 1996 a la Hackers. And why the hell did Alfred slam down a newspaper headline in front of Bruce to communicate the public perception of Batman? How is a newspaper going to reveal anything of value beyond what his "incredibly advanced" computer has already told him? Is it just the trite old spoonfeeding of familiar memes to the viewer, like using the stock audio ringing of a land line phone in a contemporary film?

And who the smeg cares what the Daily Planet has to say in 2016? The largest news conglomerate in a metropolis like Metropolis would simply be parroting a feed from the AP / Pentagon - why do they have a staff of reporters?

And is Metropolis really a convenient 20-minute drive on the freeway from Gotham? And yet this is the first time any socio-cultural interaction has transpired between to the two internationally-lauded superheroes of their respective zip codes?

Jesse Eisenberg!? (That's really all I have to say there.)

And who said, "we've got two superheroes... why not throw in a third?"

And why did the film score consist of an endless barrage of gothic choral vocals and drumming with no discernible cadence or variation? It's essentially keyboard mashing on a sampler with zero attention paid to plot or characterization.

I know I'm a bit of an outsider here, so I'm probably missing some fundamental social element which justifies this aberration of cinema. I just sincerely hope that this is a fluke of a picture and that the world actually demands something less... sh***y from their media.

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Ol’ Qwerty Bastard

i thought Ben Affleck's Batman was the best part of the movie.

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Exo

I really enjoyed Ben Affleck and really didn't enjoy anything else.

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Thelonious Monkey

I think Ben Affleck's Batman was pretty good, but yeah, the movie sucked and I agree with mostly everything you said.

Ol’ Qwerty Bastard

DC movies suck anyway

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Thelonious Monkey

So basically, **** DC.

The Batlord

Yeah nobody likes Batman v. Superman. And yes, Gotham and Metropolis are in fact oddly close to each other in the comic books.

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Justthefacts

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Justthefacts

I missed out on the Simon Pegg/Nick Frost Cornetto trilogy discussion, so now I'm here

The World's End > Shaun Of The Dead > Hot Fuzz

Literally all brilliant comedies though.

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djchameleon

Good grief. I could breakdown and explain every single one of your gripes related to BvS. It just isn't worth it. Not for someone so far removed from media and then there are just the typical DC movie haters. BvS was an improvement over than stand alone Superman movie that this is a sequel to. Thank Christopher Nolan and how he made the super serious Batman movies for why Superman took this approach of trying to be this way stylistically. All the people that hate on this movie and the first one Man of Steel but loved the Dark Knight Trilogy are just hypocrites that ended up creating the monstrosity.

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