Especially when they bust his bitch girlfriend.

I seem to remember getting choked up around the time he woke up after surgery. And when Levitt wakes up high and Rogen turns to his mother and is like, "Yeah, we don't... get high..." was brilliant.

Bookman (Seinfeld reference) telling him the weed is "Gooooo-OOOOOD!" is a quality scene too. Max Headroom and Bookman and the rest all smoking weed. Thats some kinda messed up right there.

What the **** happened? This movie started out brilliantly. Bryan Cranston was amazing. He brought an emotional depth to the part that had me peeing myself at possibility of this being the greatest thing since sliced spam. That part where he watched his wife die? I sadded. When he was obsessing over the accident in his apartment with his son? I sadded.

And likewise I was thrilled with the buildup to seeing Godzilla at the power plant. You really felt a sense of impending doom, knowing that the world was about to be changed forever by a catastrophe of epic proportions the like of which humanity has never seen. I was soiling my newly-changed trousers right up until the moment when my prayers of a decade and a half over the bad-taste-in-my-mouth left by the last crapfest movie were finally answered and the King of Monsters was finally revealed in all his scaly glory...

Nope. It's a bug.

A ****ing. Bug.

I didn't even know this was going to be a plain ol' Godzilla monster-of-the-week movie. I thought this was going to be more like the original.

Likewise they bait-and-switched me again with Cranston. A few minutes after I was thrown for a none-too-pleasant loop with Mothra 2.0 they kill him and leave me with his boring son, a character who could have been exchanged with the lead to just about any action/disaster/porn movie without anybody knowing the difference. I couldn't even feel any emotion when Cranston's character died, cause after the bug appeared I had the sinking feeling that this movie was about to start sucking, and lo and behold they kill off the only person who brought anything to the movie other than reading their lines off the backs of their hands.

This is pretty much the movie in a nutshell. They try to present you with the more serious interpretation of Godzilla in his original incarnation, but in fact give you a cheesy, Godzilla creature feature. I love those movies, but you can't mix the two. Those movies are campy because it's physically impossible to have a movie where two giant monsters duke it out amongst buildings and make it serious. So right there any emotional depth they've built up beforehand gets flushed down the toilet and we're left not with an ominous, apocalyptic nightmare, not even with campy fun, but with a poor man's Pacific Rim.

Perhaps if they'd handled Godzilla and the MUTO's (i.e. don't call them "Mothra" because Mothra isn't culturally ubiquitous enough for it not to sound stupid) better I could have overlooked this and just enjoyed the movie as a fun romp. They did not.

This wasn't even a Godzilla movie. It was a Mothra movie featuring Godzilla. Don't get me wrong, I'm fine with not showing the monster too much, but if you're going to do that then you can't show the OTHER monster almost constantly. It made the entire movie about the MUTO's, who nobody gives a **** about anyway. It's a Godzilla movie. His name's on the ****ing poster. Only his name. Not Godzilla vs. Shitty CGI Bug Douche.

And they couldn't even handle Godzilla properly when they did use him. The very first time they introduced him I was again quite happy, cause the **** was about to hit the fan and the G-man was about to drop some suckas. But of course after he roared (they didn't even get his roar right) they then cut away to the main characters dumb **** kid watching humorous news footage of the fight with no sound, completely trivializing Godzilla not thirty seconds after he is revealed. Even later on they would take any visceral element out of the fight scenes by cutting the sound and playing music over it to make it more dramatic (i.e. boring). All of this combines to basically kill any kind of the emotional connection to Godzilla that one builds during his epic battles with *Monster X* or *Creature Y*.

So in closing, I'd just like to add that the '98 movie was better than this. Congratulations. This Godzilla movie is officially worse than one starring Mathew Broadrick. Thanks for ****ting on my childhood.