100 Things That Piss Me Off About Video Games (techno, hardcore)

boo boo · 09-15-2008, 06:13 PM

85: Trackball controls

I love old arcade games, but the trackball trend just plain sucked, this was one of the prefered control setups for arcade games in the late 70s/early 80s, because some idiots didn't know what a joystick was yet.

Now for computers, trackball works just fine, it's a nice alternative to the mouse for games that would require it, like point and click adventures (in fact the trackball is GREAT for such games) but for arcade games it's just awkward as hell and amazingly some arcade games still use it.

As far as I'm concerned, next to the phone dial controls for old systems like the Colecovision, it's the worst control setup period, why f*cking control a character by moving a ball? It sucked because you had to keep rolling it to keep your character moving (imagine having to tap one side of the d pad or joystick to move instead of just holding it, well it's even worse than that) and you often jammed your fingers in the socket and it f*cking hurt.

There were some classic games like Missle Command and Centipede that used this setup, but they would have been better with the joystick. The joystick and d-pad thankfully killed the trackball trend for arcade games and consoles (you heard me right, Atari made trackball peripherals for their consoles) but not soon enough, not soon enough.

mr dave · 09-15-2008, 06:32 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by RezZ

I have to disagree. For someone who doesn't have the money to buy a DVD player, stereo w/ hard drive (receiver) , and game system it makes it possible.

This way i don't compromise.

absolutely. i also used to think it was foolish and stupid for game consoles to go cross media until there was one in the living room. if you've got the right setup it's FANTASTIC. xbox media center made me a believer.

boo boo · 09-15-2008, 07:26 PM

84: The decline of cute and cartoony games

Nintendo is the exception to the rule. And I'm not including games that are licensed from crappy kids shows, since we still have a lot of those. I'm talking about original games and characters. Today every new video game character weither it be shooters or action adventures or rpgs or even platformers has to be some kind of rough and tough action film archtype. Cartoony characters like Mario and Sonic are out, badasses like Kratos and Dante are in. Sure some of these kinda characters are interesting and memorable, like Snake. But most of the time these characters while they are supposed to be more "realistic" are just dull and one dimensional stock characters, you know something's weird when even a walking pink ball is easier to relate to.

Let me use the best example. Master Chief. Now what makes him different from Mario, Sonic, Kirby, etc other than the obvious? Well for one they had personalities, even when their games had no dialogue. Chief dosen't have that, he has no real depth, he's just a guy in a costume, even silent protagonists like Samus and Link by comparison have some depth and personality traits. Now sure some Halo fanboys would love to bring up how they have whole books or something explaining the guys backstory or whatever, but that's beside the point. A character's depth isn't just about their backstory, Mario dosen't have a backstory, but his personality makes him a great character.

Like I said before, my favorite kinds of games are the cartoony ones, because video games no matter how hard developers try, are inherently ridiculous. So totally ridiculous premises and characters is a good fit. Video games with stories that are supposed to be ridiculous usually hit their mark, it's when video game stories try to be serious and totally realistic and then fail that has become a common problem with video games today, storywise they hold no more real depth than a Chuck Norris action film. Far Cry is a good example of this, or anything Uwe Boll would base a movie on.

Now I'm fine with characters like Kratos and Dante, they're good characters, I don't want to sound too elitist, I'm open to the changes the video game industry is facing today, I would just like to see more traditional games like Nintendo still does.

Overall, just about every game on Microsoft or Sony consoles nowadays has to play out like a dumb summer movie blockbuster, and so many of these kinds of games are exactly the same. When games were more cartoony they had more room for unique gameplay and premises.

And I should also mention, no one does cute and cartoony video games better than the Japanese.

Alfred · 09-15-2008, 07:45 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by boo boo

"Do a barrel roll"

Oh my God, I HATE THAT QUOTE! One of the only things I hated about Star Fox 64, second only to the fact that the boss on the fourth level is impossible.

Sparky · 09-15-2008, 07:45 PM

Most of the solid cute characters are nintendo's.

Lets keep it like that. I think the market is big enough now that theres plenty of everything.

But i kind-off agree, not so much with characters being cute, but with the lack of color in games today.

Everything is dull gray or brown, and everything uses the unreal engine.

Have you played Okami yet boo boo?

Sparky · 09-15-2008, 07:52 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by boo boo

88: EGM

Just how wrong can one game magazine be? EGM is the obvious answer.

If this was in order this would be number 2 or something.

When this magazine makes a list of the most overrated games ever and it consists almost exclusively of Sega and Rare games, you know you're dealing with some really stupid fanboys. EGM are just the best example of why video game critics aren't actually, you know, critics. Just some blind fanboys giving the most useless kind of consumer advice imaginable and somehow getting paid for it.

Take my word for it, DON'T LISTEN TO VIDEO GAME CRITICS.

Theres absolutely nothing that makes their opinion more valid then yours. Unlike music and film critics, who actually ARE critics, it dosen't require any basic understanding of what this form of media is all about, all these guys know is their history, and by that I mean they quote Wiki a lot.

EGM are just the worst, they hate on any remotely original game with a cult following. Because they don't understand why games get praised for you know, being different, and for not being exactly the same as the overrated piece of sh*t shooters and action games they hand A ratings out to like candy.

I understand a gaming magazine has more fuctions than just reviews. But why pay to get your gaming news coverage when you can get it free on the internet, especially when you have to suffer through a lot of biased bullcrap for it.

EDIT: These were the same assh*les who spread the Sonic in Melee rumor that turned out to be false, so my hate for them is also personal.

Is this your Sonic fanboy coming out?

EGM are generally the better at having journalistic integrity. You want to look at overrating look at game informer. They are owned by Gamestop, thus they give everything a good score.

EGM hates on any remotely original game? Lets look at some reviews

-Katamari Damacy-A
-Okami -A
-Shadow of the Colussus-A
-Mario Galaxy-A

etc..

EGM doesn't rate those "****ty shooters" any higher then any other publication or website..

boo boo · 09-15-2008, 08:14 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by matious

Most of the solid cute characters are nintendo's.

Yeah, NOW.

But in the early days we also had Bubble Bobble, Fantasy Star, Alex Kidd, Goemon, Bonk, Bomberman, Adventure Island, Wonder Boy, Dig Dug, Mega Man, Sonic, Ristar and several other great cute games.

Quote:

Lets keep it like that. I think the market is big enough now that theres plenty of everything.

I never said all video games should be cute and cartoony, I play my share of non-cartoony games like Metroid and Castlevania too. I'm just expressing disappointment at how rare those kinds of games are today. Especially good ones.

Quote:

But i kind-off agree, not so much with characters being cute, but with the lack of color in games today.

Everything is dull gray or brown, and everything uses the unreal engine.

I'll be covering that one for sure.

Quote:

Have you played Okami yet boo boo?

No.

Do plan on getting it eventually though.

boo boo · 09-15-2008, 08:18 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by matious

Is this your Sonic fanboy coming out?

EGM are generally the better at having journalistic integrity. You want to look at overrating look at game informer. They are owned by Gamestop, thus they give everything a good score.

EGM hates on any remotely original game? Lets look at some reviews

-Katamari Damacy-A
-Okami -A
-Shadow of the Colussus-A
-Mario Galaxy-A

etc..

EGM doesn't rate those "****ty shooters" any higher then any other publication or website..

Still, doing a list of the most overrated games and it almost consists exclusively of games by Rare and Sega, that throws any attempt at being objective out the window. They are crazy biased against Rare for some reason.

Game informer isn't much better though. Letting the same assh*le give bad reviews to every game in a certain series (and no, not just Sonic) is a good sign of their bias.

But either way, when EGM just like every other gaming magazine constantly puts Master Chief on their cover and then do a list of the most overrated games, and instead of adding something that actually is overrated like say, Halo, they choose to go after Rare and Sega. Because if there are any sacred cows out there, it's Rare and Sega.

boo boo · 09-15-2008, 09:14 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Alfred

Oh my God, I HATE THAT QUOTE! One of the only things I hated about Star Fox 64, second only to the fact that the boss on the fourth level is impossible.

Which one? There are 3 fourth levels.

Sector X, where you fought a giant crazy robot, Solar where you fought a big insect that throws fireballs at you, and Zoness where you battled a submarine.

boo boo · 09-15-2008, 09:32 PM

83: Next gen graphics

That about sums it up.

Well that and characters now have to look like Scott Steiner on even more steroids.

09-15-2008, 07:45 PM	#55 (permalink)
Sparky not really Join Date: Jan 2007 Posts: 5,223	Most of the solid cute characters are nintendo's. Lets keep it like that. I think the market is big enough now that theres plenty of everything. But i kind-off agree, not so much with characters being cute, but with the lack of color in games today. Everything is dull gray or brown, and everything uses the unreal engine. Have you played Okami yet boo boo?