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Comus 06-10-2009 04:48 PM

Comus Fantasy VII: The Revisiting
 
Hokai, so I have to start this by saying that FFIX is probably my favourite in the Series behind VIII, but somewhere down the line I do have a massive love for FFVII. So naturally when I found out it was availble for download on the Playstation network, the first thing I did, after getting a new pair of pants was to get it.


And after about 2 hours of waiting for it to download I thought: "You know what would be a swell idea? To post my experiences of rediscovering the game here! People love original content and witty commentary." So I picked up my camera, zoomed in (badly) on the television and started to chronicle my journey.

Step One: Buy the fucker this was done while I was still changing my pants so I still hadn't thought of chronicaling it yet.

Step Two: Download the fucker. 1326 Megabytes? Duuude I only get like 250kb/s download with the wireless.
http://i16.photobucket.com/albums/b1...f/SDC10456.jpg

So two and a half hours (or something like that later) I was ready to play the game. But naturally.

Step Three: Installing the fucker already beggining to wish I was dead I was driven further to the brink by this screen:

http://i16.photobucket.com/albums/b1...f/SDC10459.jpg

What the **** could possibly be less complicated? The little gnome in the PS3 should surely be able to insert disc one. Anyways 5 minutes later I was ready to play!

After watching the little intro cinematic (you all know it) I was prompted to give my name. Ignorant of any possible Shinra identity theft possibilities I complied.

http://i16.photobucket.com/albums/b1...f/SDC10460.jpg

What did you think I was going to call him? Cloud? Don't be stupid.

Naturally since I named him Comus one would expect him to have my wit and charm.

http://i16.photobucket.com/albums/b1...f/SDC10461.jpg

...thank god.

Comus 06-10-2009 04:58 PM

So here I am, stuck in the start of the game, going towards god knows what fate (I actually remember the game quite well but that would totally ruin the mood) I am prompted to name the next main character in the game. Now he's big, bossy and had a gun for an arm. Hrm, one can only assume he like science and telling people what to do in an instructional manner. My next move was obvious.

http://i16.photobucket.com/albums/b1...f/SDC10464.jpg

Now I don't know if he'll mimick Tore very well...

http://i16.photobucket.com/albums/b1...f/SDC10465.jpg
http://i16.photobucket.com/albums/b1...f/SDC10466.jpg

Oh, nevermind.

Anyways. I venture further down into the reactor, until I set shinra up the bomb. At this point me and tore masterfully finished off the pathetic little boss that pretends to be a minor nuisance. We now have ten minutes to get us the hell out of there.

http://i16.photobucket.com/albums/b1...f/SDC10467.jpg

Sorry, 9 minutes 22 seconds. A note to Shinra employees: Stop attacking me and tore, it's tedius. Anyways I climb back out of the reactor, saving Jesse on the way, and with about 6 minutes to spare I make it out. Only to find out there was clearly something wrong with the timer. The fucker blew up the moment I got out of there! Here I was strolling away thinking I had loads of time and I WAS WRONG.

Comus 06-10-2009 05:27 PM

So, now we've blown up a massive reactor. What's the next logical step? Split up, and without being given any directions make our way to the train station. Given the fact that there's only one route to the train station I don't... Oh hello.

A "flower girl has approached me" asking if I "want to buy flowers". Hot. She's clearly using euphemisms to avoid prostitution charges since...

http://i16.photobucket.com/albums/b1...f/SDC10468.jpg

She carries a basket of them around to keep up the facade, clearly.

http://i16.photobucket.com/albums/b1...f/SDC10469.jpg

I see, she's making her pitch. There's nothing better than some hot loving after blowing a reactor, if you catch my drift. My course of action was clear.

http://i16.photobucket.com/albums/b1...f/SDC10470.jpg

She hands me a flower, makes sense, need to keep up Appearances. But wait, what's this. SHE'S BUGGERING OFF? What the hell.

Where the fuck is my sex? What kind of fucked up game is this? You "buy her flower" and she just gives you a flower and buggers off? What a rip. Anyways, maybe she ran away because she saw the shinra troops that were running towards me to corner me on a bridge. I'm sure I'll get what I paid for later. Anyways after selectively fighting said Shinra troops I decide to jump onto the train below.
Making your way in the world today takes everything you've got.
Taking a break from all your worries, sure would help a lot.

Wouldn't you like to get away?

Sometimes you want to go

Where everybody knows your name,
and they're always glad you came.
You wanna be where you can see,
our troubles are all the same
You wanna be where everybody knows
Your name.
http://i16.photobucket.com/albums/b1...f/SDC10473.jpg

dac 06-10-2009 05:28 PM

You nostalgia, you lose haha...

Oh man it has been ages since I've played 7. 10 would be my favorite, simply for having the best story in any video game ever.

Comus 06-10-2009 05:36 PM

http://i16.photobucket.com/albums/b1...f/SDC10474.jpg
I'm just that cool.

After making such a stylish entrance I'm glad someone acknowledges my skills.

http://i16.photobucket.com/albums/b1...f/SDC10475.jpg

Clearly referring to how I handled that prostitute. I must say I kept my head pretty cool even after she left with my money. 1 whole gil for a fucking flower. Still needing to blow my load we decided to move down through the train, where tore went on another of his long rants.

http://i16.photobucket.com/albums/b1...f/SDC10476.jpg

Etc etc etc. I get it, you hate pollution, well done. So we get off the train and head towards the hideout. And this is where the story ends for now.

LoathsomePete 06-10-2009 06:05 PM

I hope you plan on doing this for the entire game. I wanted to get back into it but I just can't get around the turn-based combat, just not my style, this way I can see the story progress in a manner that I'm sure is far more entertaining then the serious story.

Comus 06-10-2009 06:14 PM

But before heading to the hideout, I decided to show this random guy my penis.

http://i16.photobucket.com/albums/b1...f/SDC10477.jpg

Yes ladies, yes it is.

Outside of the "hideout" which is actually a bar (how original) Tore decides to drop a hilariously nonsensical bombshell.

http://i16.photobucket.com/albums/b1...f/SDC10478.jpg

What?

http://i16.photobucket.com/albums/b1...f/SDC10479.jpg

I really don't, if your reffering to Marlene, she's your little baby. And if you're talking about my childhood friend, she's certainly not little and is far more babe than baby.

http://i16.photobucket.com/albums/b1...f/SDC10481.jpg

Yeah, say something to me despite having no real relation or reason to. I'm just that fucking awesome. It's at this point I notice my buxom childhood friend coming towards me. Refer to picture one.

Comus 06-10-2009 06:20 PM

http://i16.photobucket.com/albums/b1...f/SDC10483.jpg

So, this girl, she's sexy, she has HUGE tits and she's most definitely my love interest in this game (I hope, check out the tits). So of course there was only one thing to name this sexy beast.




















http://i16.photobucket.com/albums/b1...f/SDC10485.jpg

*drools*

Hrm, I have an idea. I got those flowers from the fake prostitute, maybe I still might get a shag from this... Let me see what I can do.

http://i16.photobucket.com/albums/b1...f/SDC10487.jpg

Yeah, I errr, got them just for you >_>

http://i16.photobucket.com/albums/b1...f/SDC10491.jpg

That's waht I said! I swear that girl was such a con-artist! What girl you say? Err, nothing.

Comus 06-10-2009 06:36 PM

So hey, I might want you to have the flower...

http://i16.photobucket.com/albums/b1...f/SDC10493.jpg

Well err, yeah about that. Nevermind. Just have the flower.

http://i16.photobucket.com/albums/b1...f/SDC10494.jpg

Why the hell would I want to give it to the little girl? She's not going to put out, and if she did that would just be wrong. I know the Japanese aren't the most moral people in the world but come on. Besides if I gave the flower to Marlene people might call her a whore.

http://i16.photobucket.com/albums/b1...f/SDC10495.jpg

Maybe later I can smell your flower if you catch my drift.

http://i16.photobucket.com/albums/b1...f/SDC10498.jpg

Hey now lady, that would just be sending out the totally wrong message. You clearly don't know about the "flower girls" I mean if you did that this place might turn into a brothel! Wait, why am I against this again?

Comus 06-10-2009 06:41 PM

So it's been awhile since I've been all superior around these bit characters.

http://i16.photobucket.com/albums/b1...f/SDC10499.jpg

Ah that's better, also what the hell do you expect! Dressing like that, smelling like a mix of urine, sweat and bombed out reactor and whatnot. What's that you're eating?

http://i16.photobucket.com/albums/b1...f/SDC10500.jpg

I see, doesn't really answer the question. Also I don't care if she can cook, all I want is to get a shag so I can bugger off home. Hmm, actually wait. Big tits, cooks, owns a bar. I might have to marry this girls, if only she catches my many subtle hints.

http://i16.photobucket.com/albums/b1...f/SDC10503.jpg

Oh hey, tore and the rest of them have buggered off, leaving me and ethan alone. This might be a good time for said subtle hint.

http://i16.photobucket.com/albums/b1...f/SDC10504.jpg

You give it to me and I'll give it to you baby.

Comus 06-10-2009 06:54 PM

http://i16.photobucket.com/albums/b1...f/SDC10506.jpg

What the hell do you mean "Make one for me?" You clearly don't understand the mechanics of sexual intercourse do you? What the hell is this? A drink? You're pathetic at reading my signs aren't you?

http://i16.photobucket.com/albums/b1...f/SDC10507.jpg

And now you're talking about money? What's wrong with you, you've hit me up with a strong drink and you don't even have the decency to come onto me? Am I ugly? Is it the ridiculous spiky hair? Because I can get rid of that!

http://i16.photobucket.com/albums/b1...f/SDC10508.jpg

What the FUCK do you think? I've been tricked into thinking action was imminent... TWICE! And you have the audacity to ask me if I'm feeling alright? To answer your question, no, no I am not. I risk my ass blowing up reactors and whatnot, I come back to the supposed hideout and all I get is a drink and a are you all right? I gave you flowers for fucks sake, what more do you want? You're not some high class broad, you live in the slums!

I'm going down to the meeting to get some praise to make myself feel better.

http://i16.photobucket.com/albums/b1...f/SDC10510.jpg

Comus 06-10-2009 07:10 PM

So yeah, it turns out the meeting was basically nothing, so before I bugger off.

http://i16.photobucket.com/albums/b1...f/SDC10511.jpg

Why I still haven't gotten laid? Well it's plain and simple Flower Girl and ethan are just complete teases and it makes me sad in the pants.

So basically I decide fuck this noise and head for the door.

http://i16.photobucket.com/albums/b1...f/SDC10512.jpg

Hello? Are you not reading the commentary? I just told you I was.

At this point enter flashback, for some reason I'm on the watertower in this clear mind fabrication. I'm onto you, game.

http://i16.photobucket.com/albums/b1...f/SDC10513.jpg

You bloody should be, have you any idea how cold it is up... Oh hello jailbait ethan.

http://i16.photobucket.com/albums/b1...f/SDC10514.jpg

I'd tap that.

dac 06-10-2009 07:28 PM

Best thread anywhere ever.

sleepy jack 06-10-2009 08:20 PM

I love you so much yngve.

Comus 06-10-2009 08:32 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by sleepy jack (Post 679109)
I love you so much yngve.

I love you too <3

Comus 06-10-2009 08:49 PM

Okay so I've snapped out of jailbait Ethan mode, now she's bugging me about staying.

http://i16.photobucket.com/albums/b1...f/SDC10515.jpg

Yeah, but what about what you promised me when you accepted that flower! It's just polite to stick to certain promises. I could sort of understand if you didn't know me very well but in this case... We're childhood friends! Where the hell is the wild sex.

Anyways, I go to bed and have a good night. I think the term is wet dream, but can you blame me?

http://i16.photobucket.com/albums/b1...f/SDC10517.jpg

Anyways, we have a new plan! Today we're going to blow up reactor 5. So of course after a trip to the shop we head towards the train station. Once on the train the security check seems to go awry. Much later, after running the whole length of the train in what must be one of the most pointless exercises ever. We get to the end, and are faced with the prospect of getting the fuck off a moving train.

http://i16.photobucket.com/albums/b1...f/SDC10518.jpg

Ethan knows the score.

Naturally, I'm too cool to be scared, on the outside anwyays.

http://i16.photobucket.com/albums/b1...f/SDC10520.jpg

khfreek 06-10-2009 08:55 PM

Ethan is such a tease.

Comus 06-10-2009 08:56 PM

So after a bit of healthy arse-grabbing to settle ethan's nerves, Tore ruins all the fun.

http://i16.photobucket.com/albums/b1...f/SDC10521.jpg

Anyways now faced with the prospect of Ethan jumping out of the train.

http://i16.photobucket.com/albums/b1...f/SDC10523.jpg

What the hell are you talking about? Watch closely? Bitch I invented watching closely. You're going to bend over and jump out of the train. Key word bend over. Watch closely, of course.

Anyways it's my turn.

http://i16.photobucket.com/albums/b1...f/SDC10525.jpg

Ah dude, Ethan said he'd never tell anyone about my Hemorrhoids.

http://i16.photobucket.com/albums/b1...f/SDC10526.jpg

What game have you been playing?

Comus 06-10-2009 09:10 PM

Dear Diary, today I found out tore is a total pervert.

http://i16.photobucket.com/albums/b1...f/SDC10528.jpg

Yeah, Tore, I'm up here.

http://i16.photobucket.com/albums/b1...f/SDC10529.jpg

Up here, up here, dude stop drooling.

http://i16.photobucket.com/albums/b1...f/SDC10530.jpg

...this is a kids game?

http://i16.photobucket.com/albums/b1...f/SDC10531.jpg

Your lack of understanding for the mechanics of anal sex baffles me. Oh wait, I said that... awkward. Anyways, enough talk about penetrating tight holes.

Comus 06-10-2009 09:17 PM

We force ourself through the hole and go deeper and deeper into this. Closer and closer to the reactor. Biggs and the rest of the bit characters are pretty close to climax.

http://i16.photobucket.com/albums/b1...f/SDC10534.jpg

With the departure of the other characters we now only have Me, Tore and Ethan left with us as we venture further into the reactor. Oh wait, we have another pearl of wisdom.

http://i16.photobucket.com/albums/b1...f/SDC10535.jpg

...okay I'm now convinced this shit is not for children.

So, now you can look forward to the next installment of Comus Fantasy VII: The Revisiting.

Will Comus blow the reactor? Will Biggs and the rest of the bit characters survive enough for us to form an emotional attachment? Will we ever meet that mysterious prostitute again? All these answers and more will be revealed next time!

lucifer_sam 06-10-2009 09:28 PM

you might have to change your pants again.

i can't wait for the crossdressing scene. :D

WWWP 06-10-2009 10:41 PM

I can't even put into words how amazing this is.

Comus 06-10-2009 11:19 PM

Ah! The flashback, the horribly misunderstood cousin of proper plot development. Badly and overused, and as always this is no exception. We get a little glimpse into why Ethan hates everything.

http://i16.photobucket.com/albums/b1...f/SDC10537.jpg

It probably evolves around her not learning to say "father" properly.

http://i16.photobucket.com/albums/b1...f/SDC10538.jpg

Oh god, not this nancyboy again. I can handle pretty boys, and I can handle mammas boys. But not a combination of both. He doesn't have the madness of Kefka or the pure sex of Kuja, and his name doesn't even begin with a K. Worst.FinalFantasy.Villan.Ever. This includes Exdeath, the giant tree.

*click* and you're back in the room.

http://i16.photobucket.com/albums/b1...f/SDC10539.jpg

I moaned as I grabbed my genitals. The rest was pretty straight forward, zoom back to before the flashback, we just climbed down into the reactor, an exact duplicate of the other one. Yay money saved is money earned, amirite? And the bomb was set up very well. So we make our way back up, and start possibly the most infuriating minigame in the history of ever.

http://i16.photobucket.com/albums/b1...f/SDC10541.jpg

Yeah, with no actual indication of when they're going to do anything...

Comus 06-10-2009 11:25 PM

TEN MINUTES LATER

http://i16.photobucket.com/albums/b1...f/SDC10542.jpg

AAAAAAAAAAAAARGGGH
HHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

Comus 06-10-2009 11:32 PM

Anyways, as time went by, and my insanity deepened, I figured out the timing, around two seconds, but not quite.

We make it out of the reactor, and everything thing seems well... Until.

http://i16.photobucket.com/albums/b1...f/SDC10543.jpg

No, they're red marshmallow men OF COURSE SHINRA SOLDIERS. Seriously, for the head of what is apparantly such an important terrorist organisation, you've really not studied much about defense tactics. Shinra are a massive organisation, they are the richest fuckers in the world. They rule the city, no, they are the city of midgard. There are 7 reactors left, they have the resources to turn each reactor into a trap. If you were shinra would you:

A) Trap one reactor
B) Trap all reactors
C) Do nothing

Yeah, unless you're an idiot, or Tore, you're going to do B.

http://i16.photobucket.com/albums/b1...f/SDC10544.jpg

I just explained it, douche. But I'll put it in simpler terms:

http://i16.photobucket.com/albums/b1...f/SDC10546.jpg

So yeah, we're trapped, but suddenly! Enter President shinra, now, in my opinion, would be the perfect time for Tore to use the gun. You know, the gun on his arm that has unlimited range in battle. What really happens is a long boring conversation.

http://i16.photobucket.com/albums/b1...f/SDC10548.jpg

Less shooting off your mouth and more shooting off your gun.

Comus 06-10-2009 11:40 PM

Continuing the baffling "let's all stand here armed to the teeth and chat nicely to our enemy" scenario.

http://i16.photobucket.com/albums/b1...f/SDC10549.jpg

Yeah, appropriate. The conversation turns to the topic at hand, blowing the reactor. Here's the fun part, try to imagine what he means by "fireworks".

http://i16.photobucket.com/albums/b1...f/SDC10550.jpg

Tore doesn't take kindly to Vermin.

http://i16.photobucket.com/albums/b1...f/SDC10551.jpg

MORE VERMIN

http://i16.photobucket.com/albums/b1...f/SDC10552.jpg

Vermin count: Shinra: 1
Tore: 4

All this time talking about Vermin could be time spent aiming and shooting. Failure.

Comus 06-10-2009 11:45 PM

http://i16.photobucket.com/albums/b1...f/SDC10554.jpg

Finally! Some action, I hope it's Jayde Nicole, she's got some epic tits.

http://i16.photobucket.com/albums/b1...f/SDC10556.jpg

Hey, you listen to low fi indie folk, you're the last one to be complaining about noise of any kind.

http://i16.photobucket.com/albums/b1...f/SDC10557.jpg

Wait, wait wait wait wait. It's not a playboy playmate but a

http://i16.photobucket.com/albums/b1...f/SDC10558.jpg

Okay. I'm officially pissed off right now. I'm about to start raging, this is the third time I've been promised some action in this game. And it's the third motherfucking time it's been denied. Where, oh where does my fantasy begin :(

Comus 06-10-2009 11:54 PM

http://i16.photobucket.com/albums/b1...f/SDC10560.jpg

Oh NOW you want help, but when I apply for mod it's all "well, we already have enough." or "I'm sorry we're too busy right now, can you call back later". I'll help you, sly bitch, but you owe me a shag now.

http://i16.photobucket.com/albums/b1...f/SDC10561.jpg

That one is also sexual...

http://i16.photobucket.com/albums/b1...f/SDC10564.jpg

That's what she said.

http://i16.photobucket.com/albums/b1...f/SDC10565.jpg

Yeah, Tore, I'm kinda in a tough spot here. You can jump further than this normally, so what the **** gives.

Comus 06-10-2009 11:58 PM

http://i16.photobucket.com/albums/b1...f/SDC10566.jpg

Nice to know you care, douche.

http://i16.photobucket.com/albums/b1...f/SDC10567.jpg

I won't die, here's six reasons why.

1. I'm Comus
2. Comus is the main character
3. Falls never kill RPG characters
4. We're not even out of the first city
5. We're not even on the second disc
6. There are three discs

But hey, let's at least pretend to care.

http://i16.photobucket.com/albums/b1...f/SDC10568.jpg

So when posed with a question as stupid as the one below.

http://i16.photobucket.com/albums/b1...f/SDC10569.jpg

The only proper course of action, of course, is to refer back to the six reasons why I won't die.

Comus 06-11-2009 12:36 AM

http://i16.photobucket.com/albums/b1...f/SDC10570.jpg

Just don't smell her flower, if you catch my drift.

http://i16.photobucket.com/albums/b1...f/SDC10572.jpg

What the hell do you have to be sorry about? For all you know you didn't pay attention to the last few posts and as such think I have a chance of dying. If I do die, you won't have to pay me the 2000 gil I was promised. That would be ideal for you, stingy bastards.

So yeah...

http://i16.photobucket.com/albums/b1...f/SDC10573.jpg

I couldn't have said it better myself. o wait.

http://i16.photobucket.com/albums/b1...f/SDC10575.jpg

What? That's it? You're just giving up? Nonononononono you're supposed to say "but we can't go on without you" or something to that effect. Christ tore, you're cold man.

Comus 06-11-2009 12:42 AM

So, after a moderate explosion and a massive fall, the screen goes black, and a kind of inner/outer mono/dialogue ensues, it's hard to tell what the hell is going on here. Voice acting got rid of so much amibuity, shame the actual acting sucks.

http://i16.photobucket.com/albums/b1...f/SDC10577.jpg

It? IT? I have a name douchebags. I'm also a person, "it" doesn't really qualify, I don't look like my real self where I could possible be mistaken for a girl due to the long hair. But here? No I don't accept that.

http://i16.photobucket.com/albums/b1...f/SDC10578.jpg

I have a feeling we could have skipped a large portion of the game and just skipped to this if that fucking slut had actually stuck up to her part of the bargain. I paid that gil and I expect to get the loving I deserve from it.

http://i16.photobucket.com/albums/b1...f/SDC10579.jpg

I was better in the last picture when I could stare up your skirt.

http://i16.photobucket.com/albums/b1...f/SDC10580.jpg

You whore yourself out in a church? What blasphemy is this!

Comus 06-11-2009 12:51 AM

http://i16.photobucket.com/albums/b1...f/SDC10581.jpg

Yeah, err sorry about that, I can explain.

http://i16.photobucket.com/albums/b1...f/SDC10582.jpg

The whole rush of it all, it just excited me a bit too much. That and I had been promised loving soo much. Also premature ejaculation is always funny, especially if you can hit someone with it. You might want to wash that off...

http://i16.photobucket.com/albums/b1...f/SDC10583.jpg

Yeah, because old wood is not at all hard or painful, although in your profession I'm sure you get to know a lot about that sort of thing.

http://i16.photobucket.com/albums/b1...f/SDC10584.jpg

What kind of stupid fucking question is that? If it's hers she's taking some pretty hefty advantage of church property. Then again she is using it as a whorehouse, so I wouldn't put it past the bitch.

Comus 06-11-2009 12:56 AM

http://i16.photobucket.com/albums/b1...f/SDC10585.jpg

Your logic, it astounds me.

http://i16.photobucket.com/albums/b1...f/SDC10587.jpg

Unlike the fucking girls, none of them want to bloom into little women. I have an extending mechanism in my pants that will do it for them for free, but nooo.

http://i16.photobucket.com/albums/b1...f/SDC10588.jpg

We've been meeting now for the past 10 or so pictures, what the fuck is wrong with you?

And attention seeking ensues.

http://i16.photobucket.com/albums/b1...f/SDC10589.jpg

Yeah I remember you, you're that whore that sold me your flower under false pretenses. I'm still pretty damn pissed off about that.

Comus 06-11-2009 10:27 AM

http://i16.photobucket.com/albums/b1...f/SDC10591.jpg

Since the option for "whore who ripped me off" was unavailable. I'm pretty sure I remember smelling liquor on your breath. And you'd have to be drunk to wear that dress in the slums!

http://i16.photobucket.com/albums/b1...f/SDC10592.jpg

Have you ever heard of a term "the customers always right?" Clearly not, becuase then you would also have heard about proper service and not ripping people off. Giving me a flower for a whole gil and then buggering off means I no longer have any respect for you, bitch.

http://i16.photobucket.com/albums/b1...f/SDC10593.jpg

...

I AM NOT FORGIVING YOU

http://i16.photobucket.com/albums/b1...f/SDC10594.jpg

What kind of stupid bitch ass question is that? I'm standing here, with mako eyes, and stupidly oversized muscles, do I look like I don't have materia?

Comus 06-11-2009 10:30 AM

However, the inner rage must be combatted with outer cool.

http://i16.photobucket.com/albums/b1...f/SDC10595.jpg
http://i16.photobucket.com/albums/b1...f/SDC10596.jpg

So here I am beginning to wonder what this crazy whore is all about. Asking me about materia, she still hasn't washed off my little accident.

http://i16.photobucket.com/albums/b1...f/SDC10597.jpg

You mean like inbetween your legs? ZING

http://i16.photobucket.com/albums/b1...f/SDC10598.jpg

Yeah since you know, all materia has a use.

Comus 06-11-2009 10:37 AM

http://i16.photobucket.com/albums/b1...f/SDC10600.jpg

Lies make baby jesus cry. You clearly don't know shit about materia.

http://i16.photobucket.com/albums/b1...f/SDC10601.jpg

Have you ever heard of the three ellipses rule? Ah, so that materia is what keeps you from losing your mind while out whoring in the slums eh?

http://i16.photobucket.com/albums/b1...f/SDC10603.jpg

I bought you, and that didn't lead to sex, so what fucking good will talking do? My choice was clear.

http://i16.photobucket.com/albums/b1...f/SDC10604.jpg

Comus 06-11-2009 10:38 AM

Instead, I whip out my penis.

http://i16.photobucket.com/albums/b1...f/SDC10605.jpg

Yeah damn straight you see, what are you going to do with it bitch?

http://i16.photobucket.com/albums/b1...f/SDC10606.jpg

What the hell lady? Let me refer to the correct response.

http://i16.photobucket.com/albums/b1...f/SDC10477.jpg

So...?

http://i16.photobucket.com/albums/b1...f/SDC10607.jpg

*victory music*

Comus 06-11-2009 10:48 AM

So, my victory music seems premature, much like my previous ejaculation. This bitch wants to exchange names and whatnot.

http://i16.photobucket.com/albums/b1...f/SDC10608.jpg

Yeah, because as a faceless whore you really need to know the name of all your clients. Actually I suppose you do need a name other than "MONEY" to shout out when we get busy.

So, what should I name my secondary love interest. She's a whore, but relatively pretty, but she also rips me off...

...

hrm...


















http://i16.photobucket.com/albums/b1...f/SDC10610.jpg

:D?

No, nevermind, that would just be confusing.

http://i16.photobucket.com/albums/b1...f/SDC10611.jpg

Better, I suppose.

http://i16.photobucket.com/albums/b1...f/SDC10612.jpg

It's pretty established by now that you're not the flower girl at all, you're just a cheap slut, whoring yourself out one gil at a time.

Comus 06-11-2009 10:52 AM

http://i16.photobucket.com/albums/b1...f/SDC10613.jpg

Also know as disgruntled customer, when are we going to get down and dirty?

Ah, more questions, you really do like talking don't you? What do I do? Well.

http://i16.photobucket.com/albums/b1...f/SDC10614.jpg

Apart from slum girls, clearly, they just don't put out.

http://i16.photobucket.com/albums/b1...f/SDC10616.jpg

Wow, passed your int check did you? That would be a first.

http://i16.photobucket.com/albums/b1...f/SDC10617.jpg

Whatever, or whoever... :D? :D? Like you, if only.

Guybrush 06-11-2009 10:54 AM

Hahaha, awesome read :D I gotta keep an eye on this. I wanna know what the **** I'm up to! Where did I go after that bridge disaster?

FFVII is great, but I never actually played the whole thing. I did complete number 6 though.


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