What films are you anticipating avoiding?

**Janszoon** · 12-12-2011, 10:11 AM

Think of this as a companion thread to the other one with the similar but more positive title. Here is your opportunity to publicly mock upcoming movies that look awful.

I was inspired to create this after recently seeing previews for these two atrocious-looking films:

Battleship
You know you're in trouble when a movie touts itself as being "from Hasbro, the company that brought you Transformers". How much plot can you possibly squeeze out of the board game this movie is based on? The answer, apparently, is not much since they felt the need to shoehorn aliens into a movie based on a naval-themed guessing game. Watch the trailer and weep (or laugh):

The Three Stooges
Who the hell is this movie's target demographic anyway? There are two kinds of people in the world: Those who hate the three stooges (like me) and those who love them. People who hate them are obviously not going to want to see this movie, but I don't think people who love them are going to want to see the movie either. It's like making a Marx brother movie with other actors playing the Marx brothers. What the hell is the point? The fact that this is a Farrelly brothers movie is the only thing it has going for it, but the trailer just looks awful:

LoathsomePete · 12-12-2011, 10:18 AM

I found out that Hollywood is in the process of remaking both American Psycho and Starship Troopers. Now who wants to bet the remake of Starship Troopers will completely forget the satire of a fascist militaristic society and will have them be noble space marines fighting for our freedom and liberty from a insect species with a hive mind mentality on a planet that has no strategic value and the enemies which lack the technology to do little more than lob rocks out way.

Salami · 12-12-2011, 10:25 AM

The Bourne Legacy this august seems to be ressurecting something that ought to have been put to bed a while ago.

And I'm really not looking forward to the Scary Movie 5 this April either.

**Janszoon** · 12-12-2011, 10:37 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by LoathsomePete

I found out that Hollywood is in the process of remaking both American Psycho...

Good grief. That movie is only ten years old. The span of time before they do a remake seems like it's getting smaller and smaller.

Quote:

Originally Posted by LoathsomePete

...and Starship Troopers. Now who wants to bet the remake of Starship Troopers will completely forget the satire of a fascist militaristic society and will have them be noble space marines fighting for our freedom and liberty from a insect species with a hive mind mentality on a planet that has no strategic value and the enemies which lack the technology to do little more than lob rocks out way.

You're probably right, though honestly I didn't feel like the original played up the satirical element enough either.

**Goofle** · 12-12-2011, 10:38 AM

I eagerly anticipated not watching Scream 4... I was right to not want to have watched it.

LoathsomePete · 12-12-2011, 10:54 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Janszoon

You're probably right, though honestly I didn't feel like the original played up the satirical element enough either.

What are you talking about? The movie was a perfect satire on the war in Iraq... before there even was a war!

**Janszoon** · 12-12-2011, 11:02 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by LoathsomePete

What are you talking about? The movie was a perfect satire on the war in Iraq... before there even was a war!

Meh. To me it was a movie that could've been great but was instead just sort of okay. I've always felt that its biggest problem was that it couldn't decide what kind of movie it was. There wasn't enough satirical content to make it a good satire but there was just enough to prevent it from being an entertaining action/sci-fi movie.

Ska Lagos Jew Sun Ra · 12-12-2011, 11:09 AM

Anything and everything ZAZ and Wayan Bro related.

RVCA · 12-12-2011, 12:24 PM

Twilight. So far so good.

**Scarlett O'Hara** · 12-12-2011, 03:10 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by RVCA

Twilight. So far so good.

This. Cruelty to cinema.

12-12-2011, 10:11 AM	#1 (permalink)
Janszoon Mate, Spawn & Die Join Date: May 2007 Location: The Rapping Community Posts: 24,593	What films are you anticipating avoiding? Think of this as a companion thread to the other one with the similar but more positive title. Here is your opportunity to publicly mock upcoming movies that look awful. I was inspired to create this after recently seeing previews for these two atrocious-looking films: Battleship You know you're in trouble when a movie touts itself as being "from Hasbro, the company that brought you Transformers". How much plot can you possibly squeeze out of the board game this movie is based on? The answer, apparently, is not much since they felt the need to shoehorn aliens into a movie based on a naval-themed guessing game. Watch the trailer and weep (or laugh): The Three Stooges Who the hell is this movie's target demographic anyway? There are two kinds of people in the world: Those who hate the three stooges (like me) and those who love them. People who hate them are obviously not going to want to see this movie, but I don't think people who love them are going to want to see the movie either. It's like making a Marx brother movie with other actors playing the Marx brothers. What the hell is the point? The fact that this is a Farrelly brothers movie is the only thing it has going for it, but the trailer just looks awful: __________________ A Night in the Life of the Invisible Man Time & Place 25 Albums You Should Hear Before the Moon Crashes into the Earth and We All Die last.fm

12-12-2011, 10:18 AM	#2 (permalink)
LoathsomePete Cardboard Box Realtor Join Date: Feb 2009 Location: Hobb's End Posts: 7,648	I found out that Hollywood is in the process of remaking both American Psycho and Starship Troopers. Now who wants to bet the remake of Starship Troopers will completely forget the satire of a fascist militaristic society and will have them be noble space marines fighting for our freedom and liberty from a insect species with a hive mind mentality on a planet that has no strategic value and the enemies which lack the technology to do little more than lob rocks out way. __________________ Last.FM 101 Albums That May Not Change Your Life, But I Really Like And You Might Too

12-12-2011, 10:25 AM	#3 (permalink)
Salami Get in ma belly Join Date: Oct 2011 Location: Derbyshire Posts: 1,385	The Bourne Legacy this august seems to be ressurecting something that ought to have been put to bed a while ago. And I'm really not looking forward to the Scary Movie 5 this April either.

12-12-2011, 12:24 PM	#9 (permalink)
RVCA （￣ー￣） Join Date: Jul 2009 Posts: 3,270	Twilight. So far so good.