Most annoying TV cliches
 

Didn't I already do this? No? Well, bout time I did.

There are a lot of "buzzwords" being used far too often on TV now that really bug the hell out of me. Some examples:

"I have passion/am so passionate about x"

"I want this so badly"

"I gave 110 (or any increment of 100) percent"

"Comfort zone"

"Nailed/killed that"

"Failure is not an option"

This last one really annoys me. It's a complete fallacy. Of course failure is an option, otherwise nobody would attempt anything because everything they did would work. It's the possibility of failure that drives us. Think the Wright Brothers, standing at Kill Devil Hill, thought "Ah this will definitely work. We've no problem here at all!"? Not a bit of it: fear of failure can stop you attempting things but it can also drive you to confront that failure, and to claim it's not an option is probably both the most stupid and arrogant thing anyone can say.

So, who wants to vent? ;)

I don't watch much TV these days, so I don't know if these come up very often, but I used to hear a lot of these buzzwords when I worked for a large corporation several years ago and they used to annoy the **** out of me!


At the end of the day

A win-win situation

Paradigm shift

Touch base

Low hanging fruit

It is what it is

Go the extra mile

Engage the customer

Moving forward

Think outside the box

Follow up

Thrown under the bus

Dropped the ball

Is it Friday yet?

Thank God it's Friday!

Are we having fun yet?

Face time

Give me/giving you a heads up

Seamless

Metrics

Multi-tasking

Vet/vetting

God I HATE that phrase! It's absolutely nonsensical! What does it mean, "it is what it is"? It's just a lazy way of answering a question or avoiding making a decision. Grrrr! :mad:
Hate that one too! Bloody thing!
Well, lose the "a" and the "up" and it could be fun... :D

Relevant to the purpose of television:

"Homeopathic, traditionally used"
"Studies show"
*guy in a lab coat who is apparently a doctor, selling you things because all you need for credibility is a f*cktard in a white coat*
"Clinically tested"
"The pounds fall right off"
"Easy"
"3 easy steps"
"Without any exercise"
Testimonials recorded in bad quality audio, because you'll think it must be legit.
Food that looks better than it does in reality, while you know this fact.
Sales.
Slow motion.
Sweaty beverages.
Sweaty beverages in slow motion.
Sweaty people drinking sweaty beverages in slow motion.
Latest pop craze as backing music.

And the reason all this crap is around is because it works. Don't blame TV. Blame yourselves.

One that drives me crazy is the kind of dramatic repetition that absolutely no one uses in real life but which is ubiquitous in the epilogues of TV shows and movies. Some examples:

• Bob asks Joe if he'll come back one day and Joe responds with, "Maybe I will, Bob. Maybe I will."
  
• Or Bob reassures Joe by putting a hand on his shoulder and saying, "I'll be here, Joe. I'll be here."

Jesus fucking Christ, screenwriters. Jesus fucking Christ.

TV needs more f*cking balls.



Too bad Deadwood is no longer. But I do still get a kick out of the fact that they named him Al Swearengen... which probably means swear engine. Given the evidence.

The seven signs of...
Ten steps to...
Now contains [insert bogus name]™

It means what it means!

Also, how are we(the audience) supposed to know that shit is about to go down in a big way before an action scene without "Failure is NOT an option!"?

I forgot to put in the cliche that I dislike. I really hate when shows try to pull on the heartstrings of their viewers by doing what I call "the afterschool special" episode. For example, Glee did it with a bullying episode and even more recently with a school shooting episode.

Rehashed storylines. Just about any episodic drama/comedy is guilty of this. One example which churned my goddamned stomach (and completely turned me off of NCIS - or at least McGee) was when he was writing a book or some such, and then a killer started killing people based off of the book he'd written. **** THAT AND **** YOU, WRITERS! I mean, it's not just NCIS who's done this, but that one was several years ago, and still makes me irritated to even think about. And McGee was so charming when he was Thackery Binx in "Hocus Pocus."

The dramatic argument scene between a couple, ostensibly breaking up, followed by the drunken bar scene, and the angsty face the main character makes when he/she realizes that he/she has screwed up. I may kill myself if I have to sit through that overdone bull**** again. There are really other ways for someone to realize that they were in the wrong/the fight wasn't worth it.

The washed out lighting they use in 'after' pictures for wrinkle creams.

Why is it always raining when people break up?

Or when they have their first embrace?

Why does it always rain on me? Is it because I lied when I was seventeen?

I'll tell you one other thing that bugs me and is totally overused. You know that rising screech that they use to build tension, usually at the end of an episode or season? It goes up and up and up and then cuts off. Every bloody show uses it!

Haha, yes! And trailers for movies too.

When "nerdy"/outcast girls turn out to be super hot princesses just by taking off their glasses.

Bitch, please.

AND taking down their hair, which always fans out in a cascade of perfectly-formed blonde, black or brown....

I am going to make note of this thread as I write my pilot.

Note of things to avoid or add?

Things to avoid, or at the very least spin and then lampshade.

Yeah, I would add certain things and make fun of them in the process too. That's a nice way to go about it.

It's impossible to write anything that's never been written, but you can do it in an original way. I also think it's important not to try and sneak anything that's obviously overused past your audience like they're idiots. Call attention to it and self-deprecate a bit.

Overdone movie and TV tropes/Cliches
 

1. "It's a long shot but it just might work!" (It always does)

2. The way stupid teenage girls always walk towards a strange breathing sound in the darkness in horror/slasher movies, quaveringly enquiring "Hello? Is someone there?" Ever heard of safety in numbers, bitch? Move AWAY from the sound, not towards it, or at least turn a ****ing light on!

3. Baseball/Boxing episodes

4. Hostage episodes

5. Back/forward in time episodes

6. "24 hours previously" type episodes that originally start in the middle of a story

7. Geeks who save the day

8. Shy girls who turn out to be the belle of the ball

9. Character(s) who seem(s) dead but then come back later on

10. Twins

11. Moles in the organisation

12. "False" endings

Bugger! Not only did I not find the thread, it had originally been created by ... me!
http://cdn.slowrobot.com/62920142008105.jpg

The way tv detectives can never find a friggin light switch. Have you ever tried finding something by torch light?

Speaking of TV detectives... how about scenes where a detective goes into a bar or restaurant to talk to someone, they order drinks, they say a few words, the detective takes a single sip, they finish talking and the detective gets up and leaves almost a full drink behind without having another sip.

What is it with keyboards? You or I use a computer, you're going to be using the mouse mostly if you're using a program. But you see these so-called techno whizzes bashing away at a keyboard to, say, override a security protocol, and never once use the mouse. What are they using? An IBM XT???

And while we're on the subject of computers: enhancing video and zooming in? You know of any available program that can do that? Or clear up a grainy pixellated shot into a perfectly pristine picture?? The more you zoom in the worse the resolution gets, not the better!

You can control the whole computer pretty easily with keyboard commands.

It's actually taught to tech people too, since you might be in a situation where you are forced to try to fix a computer without being able to use a mouse.

Yeah but that's generally when you have no other choice. How many of us sit down and use the keyboard shortcuts when we can just use the mouse?

How many of us are tech whizzes in exciting action thriller scenarios?

There are a lot of really useful keyboard shortcuts, between alt+tab, ctrl+shift, then your usual copy/paste/new folder/new browser, and custom shortcuts I've made, I can do quite a bit without using my mouse.

On topic, I can't stand it when shows have young people who are "poor" living in lavishly furnished apartments. I think one of the only shows that actually matched level of income to quality of apartment was Community when Troy and Abed (and later Annie) got an apartment together. That was something I could imagine 3 early 20-somethings living in, not some upscale, wood floored, tastefully lit, loft

Keyboard commands are actually supposed to be quicker once you learn how to use them, so I imagine a computer genius trying to save the world or New Jersey might forgo the mouse.

Quite why they would want to save Jersey is, I believe, another thing.
:shycouch:

Meat, hamburgers, wendy's, meat, meat, more meat... heartburn medicine! cheese, meat, junk food, heartburn medicine, meat.. need calcium? MILK, got milk? milk for calcium, heart attack medicine, meat, LIFE ALERT!


Genius marketing right there.. Shove all the products in your face and then advertise fixes for the symptoms they create.

That thing where the character -always- has to stare into the mirror (before wincing and sighing dramatically) before swallowing medication. Just take the damn Seroquel, Rebecca.

And the thing where a classical song plays while something violent is happening. I only have a problem with this because it's always the same few songs and opera pieces. For once I'd like to hear a Scott Walker's "Farmer in the city" (that would be delightful) or Swans song during a murder scene, or at least some other less overplayed classical piece.

I also thoroughly hate forced romantic subplots between the male/female leads in action & thriller type shows/movies, what with all the dumb cringey banter. (Especially when the male lead is a grizzled world-weary ex-cop who eats cigarettes and glass for breakfast or whatever, and the female lead has no identifiable personality yet is still somehow equally annoying? Like when they do something marginally athletic and the dude is all "Where'd you learn how to do that"? And she flips her hair and goes "Oh that? I grew up with lots of brothers, lol". So many movies have that stupid line.) Whhhyyy must there always be a romantic subplot. Get 'em away from me.

And, having endured many bad netflix indie movies and short-lived shows about quarter-life/mid-life crises, I'm annoyed by just about every character trope in them. Like the "nerdy" dudebros with a Nice Guy™ complex and of course the constant Manic Pixie Dreamgirl trope. (I cannot remember the name of a single one of these movies because they're forgettable.) I'm all for movies that try to portray depression/mental illness and stuff, but they could do so much more with it.

There's also some Joss Whedon-specific things. Like Angel's entire character.

This.

It's also hilarious when they attempt to make incredibly gorgeous actresses/actors look frumpy or average. Like... Just use regular-looking actors, maybe? (This is why I appreciate British TV and movies; regular characters actually resemble regular people.) Or at least ones that don't look like generically-attractive Gap models who were grown in a lab.

I hate the way in every sword fight scene ever combatants will clash swords then spin 360 degrees and come the other way. I'm no sword expert but isn't it a really bad idea to have your unprotected back facing your opponent while you spin?

I hate that same thing in fight sequences where they go for the roundhouse kick. I am like totally unnecessary and leaves you open.

I also hate in foot chases when the hero chasing the bad guy starts jumping over random crap when it would be faster to keep going straight or quickly side step.

Or when supposed sword fighting experts spin their swords for no apparent reason. What did that just accomplish besides possibly losing control of your sword and it flying from your hand?