Trollheart

OK well first I can send you the files I have. One is the complete Judge Dredd, the other the complete 2000AD. Um. They're seven gigs each. But if you want them uploaded I'll do so. I think I got them from KickAss Torrents before us Irish were blocked from it, so you may be able to download them from there, but if you want them uploaded let me know. You need CBR to read them, but I'm sure you have that.

It's hard for me to say where to start, as I as a kid started with prog 1 as it came out and followed it religiously for at least two decades. The "epics" are great --- The Judge Child, The Cursed Earth, Judge Death, The Day the Law Died etc --- but to get a real feel for Dredd I think it's better to go from his first story onwards. You could follow it here if you want; I'll be updating quite a bit.

As for the movies? Yeah Stallone ruined it in the first minute. Dredd NEVER took his helmet off! That was as iconic as Dirty Harry's Magnum 44! But yeah I enjoyed the second one, far superior and the idea of staging it all in one place was brave, and I feel worked well. I hope Urban returns.

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Trollheart: Signature-free since April 2018

The Batlord

That complete Judge Dredd thing would be righteous. Unfortunately my Chromebook can't do torrents, so I'd be grateful for an upload.

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Trollheart

Episode VII: “Antique car heist”

First print date: April 16 1977
Prog appearance: 8
Writer(s): Charles Herring
Artist(s): Massimo Bellardinelli
Total episodes: 1

Who would be bothered stealing a clunky old Morris Minor? Well, in this age probably nobody, but in the twenty-second (almost) century such cars have become so rare that they are not only classics but are considered art. And art theft will always be popular, with the potential it has of a huge return for the criminal who has the proper connections. Thus it is that a perp steals one of these old bangers and is in turn tailed by Dredd, who notes that several “classic” cars have gone missing in the last month. Like in the “Frankenstein 2” story, he wants the criminal to lead him to the nerve centre of the operation. The guy didn't steal the car for a joyride: he obviously knows where to sell it and who will buy it. This is the guy Dredd wants, the mastermind behind the classic car theft ring,


And so he does. The top guy is not happy to see that his flunky has led Dredd right to his door, and tries to shut it in his face, but Dredd blasts the garage door with his Lawgiver. Thinking fast, the criminals blast Dredd with the plastic coating they have been putting on the classic cars so as to disguise them for resale. Dredd reels, and the gang closes in. But as the boss, Krilz, leaves them to deal with the stricken Judge, the criminals decide this is their big chance to see what lies underneath that mirror-visored helmet, to see the face of Judge Dredd. They are horrified by what they see though, and the shock allows Dredd to get the drop on them. Krilz however is making his escape via the Walk-eeze, a fast-moving pedestrian pathway, and waves to Dredd as the platform carries him away at five hundred feet a second. Dredd is unconcerned though, and puts in a call to control, who obligingly reverse the direction of the Walk-eeze, so that it carries the disbelieving perp right back to Dredd.


QUOTES
Dredd: “There's been a lot of art thefts in this sector. Last week a Ford Cortina --- one of only ten left in the world --- and a Cadillac went missing.”
(Gotta like the idea of having an eye on the American market, even so early on. “Cortina?” says the puzzled yank. “Huh? Oh, now Cadillac --- that I understand!”)

Dredd: “Close your door if you like, Krilz, but a high explosive bullet will open it again!”

Gang: “Aargh! What's happened to Dredd's face? It's horrible! With a face like that Dredd shouldn't be allowed to live! Kill him!”

Krilz: “Huh? What's happening? The Walk-eeze, it's ... slowing down ... going backwards! Towards Dredd!”

Welcome to the world of tomorrow!

We're all familiar with moving walkways in shopping malls and airports, but they move at a very sedate pace and are of course interior. Mega-City One has just installed its first Walk-Eeze, which is a high-speed pedestrian walkway, presumably for those who wish to move faster than walking but who can't or don't drive or have access to transport. It's an interesting idea, although you would wonder would people eventually do what they do with moving walkways in this century: find them too slow and just walk along them anyway, kind of defeating the purpose for which they were built? Let's see: 500 feet per second is 3000 feet per minute or 18,000 feet per hour. 1,760 feet in a mile so that's approximately ... 17 to 18 miles per hour? That's pretty damn fast! Don't see anyone outpacing that!

Personal note: This appears to be the first, and so far as I can see, only Dredd story written by Charles Herring, and I do not like his style. The dialogue he gives Dredd is totally out of character. Dredd has, up to now, given us the impression of having a hard, clipped tone, sharp, business-like, no nonsense. Here though he speaks in what seems to me a very nineteenth-century English idiom, using “shall” instead of “will” or even contracting the word --- “I shall” instead of “I'll”. He also says “You are under arrest” where he would normally say “You're under arrest”, possibly adding a “creep!” for good measure. No, I don't like his style and I can see why he was not asked to write again. Even the subject matter of the story is old and dusty --- Morris friggin' Minor heist? Do me a lemon! I can see this Herring guy, all tweed jacket and pipe, with a copy of Roget's Thesaurus on his desk, plotting out this story. Stick to the murder mysteries, mate! Your title is crap too: couldn't you come up with something snappier? Here, let me try: um, "The Morris Minor caper"? "Wheels and Rust"? Fuck it, "The Wheels of Justice"! See, it's not so hard.

Ch-ch-ch-changes

Once again we see that the writing staff have not decided what Dredd's HQ will be. We've had “Police Control”, “HQ” and now “Law Control.” Still fleshing the idea out. We also see though the first indication that Dredd's Lawgiver (still just referred to as his gun for now) can fire different types of ammunition, as here he uses high-explosive to blow the garage door. Later we will learn the mode is selectable, by voice command.

I'll ask the questions, creep!

What is so horrible underneath Dredd's helmet? The picture in the comic just shows his face with a censored sticker plastered over it, as above. But in the comics there never was, up until the point I stopped reading anyway, any indication that Dredd had suffered, Darth Vader-like, any disfigurement. To my recollection, he just kept his helmet on all the time because he was a tightarse, and to retain the mystique about him. But the perps seem to have seen something awful there. I don't think this was followed up: perhaps they were thinking of going down that road and then changed their minds?

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Trollheart

Episode VIII: “Robots”

First print date: April 23 1977
Prog appearance: 9
Writer(s): John Wagner
Artist(s): Ron Turner
Total episodes: 1

Man has always found ways to be cruel: to animals, to nature, and when nobody is left, to himself. But now he has a new victim to torment, and one that is sworn and designed never to lift a finger to stop him, even though as an entity it is much stronger and more powerful than he could ever be. Yes folks, in the almost twenty-second century, robots are the new whipping boys. Mechanical slaves who must do as they are bid, as they are ordered, and can never defend themselves or avenge themselves on their human masters. Judges Dredd and Diablo, sent to patrol the Robot of the Year Show, as they have received a threat that if a massive ransom is not paid, there will be serious trouble there, watch the display with growing distaste. For a tough, cynical man, Dredd is moved by the inhumanity of his fellow men towards harmless automatons, bred to serve, bred to work and if necessary bred to die. He foresees a cataclysm “one day”.

Suddenly there is no more time to ruminate on man's cruelty as they hear a disturbance and rush to intercept a man in a flying wheelchair, of all things, who is armed and shooting. Dredd warns him to drop his weapon, but the cripple's chair is protected by bullet-proof glass and the Judges' bullets just bounce off harmlessly. He then releases deadly Myclon gas; Diablo is too slow and goes down but buys time for Dredd to put on his respirator as the place begins to fill with toxic fumes. Protected, but aware that hundreds or thousands of innocent citizens are in danger, Dredd shoots out the dome with a high-ex bullet and the fumes are sucked out into the city, where Mega-City One's air filtration system will take care of them.

Now it's time to catch the perp, and Dredd snatches up a blanket that he dropped in the chaos, and using the exhibition to his advantage he takes it to the new gleaming Police Bloodhound Robot. With the scent in its “nostrils”, the robot takes Dredd on its back and charges off in pursuit of the felon. They catch up with the cripple, and Dredd, desperate to stop his spree, shoots at the robochair, disabling it and causing it to spin down, out of control, till it impacts on the ground. As he looks down on the wreckage, Dredd thinks about the double role robots have played in this little drama: one helped him catch the perp, the other assisted the perp in his crime. How soon, he wonders, before they are all fighting robots?

QUOTES

Robot George: “No, master! Please don't make me do it! George does not want to die!”
Carny: “You can't die if you're not alive George.”
(A rationale that has been, and will be, advanced as an excuse for the maltreatment of robots. Hurting living things is cruel, and wrong of course. But something inanimate? A robot? You might as well say it's cruel to kick your stereo, or slam your oven door. It's just a thing. Isn't it?)

Lady onlooker: “Poor thing. I could almost swear it's crying.”
Carny: “Yes ma'am! Those are real tears! Our new “K” series robots are so real they're almost human! They think, they feel, but they obey!”
(Dear God how monstrous! They actually give the robots feelings, allow them to feel pain and fear, knowing they can do nothing about it. What madman thought that one up? I'm already rooting for the robots to rise up!)

Dredd: “It was a cruel exhibition, Diablo. We give robots the will to live and then expect them to die like willing slaves. It's gonna spell trouble one day.”
(It might seem odd to hear the stony-faced Judge waxing so sympathetic about mere machines, but even he has room in his heart for a little mercy. And he is a champion of the weak, so he can imagine how the robots feel, with no advocate, nobody to speak for them, nobody to protect them. He may be a tough man, but he's fair too, and this is not something he believes is fair. Also he can see trouble brewing, the way only a Judge can.)

Dredd: “I prefer old-fashioned robots. Stupid things with no feelings. They cause no problems.”
(And in a few sentences Dredd kind of undoes all the bleeding-heart work he's done in the previous ones...)

Cripple: “Fire away, Judges! You can't penetrate my bullet-proof shield!”
(Bullet-proof? Somehow you would think that by now, on the very cusp of the twenty-second century, they'd be using lasers? But no: seems the good old bullet is still alive and well and serviceable --- though surely highly upgraded and improved.)

Robot Bloodhound: “Approaching interception point, master. Lawbreaker will exit underpass in exactly four seconds. Am I not clever?”
Dredd: “Just get on with your job, bloodhound!”
(Interesting points here. Firstly, even though it's robotic the bloodhound seems to have been programmed with the dog's innate sense of desire to please, and to receive positive reinforcement. It wants to be told, basically, that it's a “good boy”. Were it not so huge, perhaps it would roll over to have its belly tickled? Dredd shows that he really has little time for robots in his response: he knows that he needs the machine, but he dislikes having to rely on it. He likes it even less that the thing has to talk to him, and wishes it would just do the job for which it was designed. But at the back of it too, anchoring his dislike of the thing is the inescapable understand that without this robot, he would not have been able to track the lawbreaker as well as he has, and he realises that Judges are going to come to rely on these machines. Which to him, is really a step backward. A Judge survives by his wits, his experience and his training, not by riding on the back of some oversized sleigh. But this is the future before him, the future of law enforcement, and he can see why. He doesn't have to like it, but he knows a massive advance in police pursuit when he sees it.)

Robochair (diving out of control to the ground): “I regret that I can serve you no further BZZZZ! Goodbye, master!”
(Even though the chair has been sent to its “death” by its master, it still apologises because it can no longer carry out the function for which it was built. In addition, the chair is blissfully unaware that it is carrying its “master” to his own death. Nothing matters to it but that it has failed, as it sees it, in its duty.)

Dredd: “I would not have caught this lawbreaker without this bloodhoud robot, but that heap of metal down there was a robot too. How long will it be before robots discover how to break the law?”
(Asimov's First Law of Robotics states that no robot can cause a human harm, or, through inaction, allow harm to come to a human. Will this imperative hold when the robots begin to realise there is a way that they can strike back at their masters? Can they break their programming and take revenge for all the years of slavery and ill-treatment at the hands of the humans they serve? This is what Dredd fears, and the vision he has of the future is not in the least encouraging.)

Ch-ch-ch-changes

This is the first time we hear one of the “Dreddwords” I spoke of earlier being used. Judge Diablo says “By Stomm! That robot melted well, Dredd!” I think it was envisioned that Stomm was to be some sort of god or legendary figure, like we'd say “By God” or “By Jesus”, but from what I remember this was quickly dropped and the phrase became a single word, “Stomm!” usually meant as an exclamation of surprise or anger. We'll see if it's used with the preposition again, but I don't think so.

I think, too, though I may be wrong, that this is the first time Dredd has teamed up with another Judge. Up to now, he's always been a lone wolf. Perhaps Diablo was there to forestall any protests that Dredd wouldn't have had time to drop his respirator before the gas got him otherwise.

It's also the first time we're shown that Judges have respirators built into their helmets. In many ways, the uniform of a Judge is more like a suit of armour coupled with a full exoskeleton and mobile arsenal!

Welcome to the world of tomorrow!

Where all the menial jobs you want done, and all the heavy lifting is performed by robots. They don't come cheap --- the series “K” one at the beginning of the story, the one ordered into the flames --- costs just under 200,000 credits --- and probably not every household has one, but for your larger industrial tasks, robots are not only necessary but vital, and you can bet every major company has some. Of course, we use robots in this century too, and think no more of them than that they are machines, but then, they don't have personalities or feelings. Would you find it so easy to curse your computer if it made a sad face, or to drive your car if it complained of your weight? It's different when these machines can express themselves, talk, show fear or sorrow.

But soon, the robots will show something much more deadly: rage, outrage and a thirst for vengeance. The rise of the machines is not years away, or months. It's just around the corner...

I'll ask the questions, creep!

First I have to ask, why a cripple? It's funny yes, in an oddball way, but why is the guy disabled? Also, what is his beef with the show? Is he some sort of robot activist? And if he has a bullet-proof shield protecting him on the hoverchair, how did the scarf slip out from that? This was Dredd's only way to track the guy, and the fact that it fell out through what is supposed to have been an enclosed bubble is perhaps evidence of bad storywriting.

You also have to wonder: are robots not supposedly programmed to respond to authority? Surely any command its user gives it should be overridden if it's against the law? So that when Dredd roars for the hoverchair to pull over, the robot driving it should heed that call and land. Instead, it continues on its course, ignoring the Judge.

I AM THE LAW!
Dredd worries what will happen if robots begin to break the law? Mega-City One's laws and penal codes are naturally geared towards humans. What use to incarcerate a robot in an iso-cube when a) it could probably escape and b) the imprisonment would have no effect on it. Also robots don't generally die (though they can wear out) so as soon as the term of imprisonment was over the robot would be free to go back to committing crimes. Do they upgrade the penalties, shooting robots who commit any crime? And if so, what possible penalties does the City face from the owners, manufacturers or users of the robots? Do they, perhaps, hold them responsible for the crimes, as parents are often blamed for their children's misdeeds? Or do they try to write up a whole new set of laws to cover robots?

Either way, the paperwork's gonna stink, and every Judge's job is bound to get harder, and more dangerous. Hunting down criminal robots will not be anywhere as easy, or as safe, generally, as hunting down humans.

PCRs
One of the robots, who continues to advertise itself as it is programmed to do, oblivious to the carnage being wreaked around it, is called “The Heavy Metal Kid”. This is a double PCR, as The Heavy Metal Kids were a British hard rock band, and they took their name from a gang in a novel by William Burroughs).

Those clever little touches
Is it coincidence, I wonder, that the gas the cripple releases is called Myclon, very close to Zyklon B, the infamous gas used in the Nazi concentration camps in World War II? Is Wagner here trying to say something, to draw a parallel between the lives robots are forced to live and the victims of the Nazi atrocities, who were forced into slave labour, and given no more thought by their oppressors than we would give an insect? Is he making a comment on slavery in general, or am I just reading too much into things, as usual...?

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Trollheart

Note: This series only began in Prog 86 of 2000AD but had been birthed in its ill-fated younger brother, Starlord, the two comics later merged and Johnny and Wulf, along with a few other strips that survived the death of Starlord, joined the ranks of later to be classic 2000AD heroes. As I have the issues of Starlord to hand, I'm going to start by recounting the stories in that comic, the original, if you will, Strontium Dog strips, up to the point where it crossed over, at which time I will then take the remaining stories from 2000AD.

Episode I: “Max Quirxx, Part One”

First print date: May 13 1978
Reprinted: October 14 1978
Prog appearance: 86, but originally in Starlord Issue 1
Writer(s): John Wagner
Artist(s): Carlos Ezquerra
Total episodes: 2

On the planet Caytor, in the Dorian Nebula, Johnny Alpha and his partner Wulf Sternhammer, in pursuit of two criminals in their capacity as bounty hunters, are suddenly attacked by scatterbeams, wide-ranging lasers that mimic the indiscriminate spread of the fire of an automatic machine gun. As the two Search/Destroy agents dive for cover their quarry uses the momentary respite to pull on Chameleon Cloaks, devices which refract light, thus allowing their wearer to blend in with any surroundings; to effectively become invisible. The criminals though have reckoned without Johnny Alpha's mutated eyes, which can see through walls and certainly through one of these devices. Calling out the co-ordinates to his partner he pinpoints the two thugs and the two bounty hunters vapourise them.

The local police, coming upon the incident, are less than pleased to have “Strontium Dogs” among them; seems prejudice is not confined to the environs of Earth. Alpha reminds them that he and Wulf are operating under the aegis of the Search/Destroy Agency, licenced by the Galactic Crime Commission, and that the two guys they have just smoked worked for a multiple murderer on whose trail they are currently. The police are bound, if not to help then certainly not to hinder them, but from the looks they give the two hunters and their attitude, it seems they have more sympathy for the dead men than empathy with the two living ones.

Alpha takes it in his stride: he's used to being called all sorts of names by now, and it rolls off his back like water, but he is concerned about their prey. When one of the officers quips nastily that it's a pity they killed the two thugs, who might have been able to tell the bounty hunters where to find their boss, they are horrified and disgusted to see Alpha use a device that essentially reverses time, in a very specific set space, making one of the bodies come back to life briefly so that the S/D agent can interrogate him. The recently-deceased criminal lies that he doesn't know the whereabouts of his boss, but one look in Johnny's terrifying pale eyes convinces him that he had better tell the truth, and he gives Alpha the location. Satisfied, the bounty hunter lets time flow forward again, as the gunman dies a second death. With the information they require in their hands, and the insults and cries of horror from the cops ringing in their ears, the two men set off to find their prey and bring him in, dead or alive.

QUOTES
Wulf: “Ja! Is gut, Johnny! You gif zem the old evil eye!”

Johnny: “Set blasters to “flesh” and ... fire!”
(There's little mercy wasted on these scum. Phasers on stun? Not in this line of work, pal!)

Caytor Cop 2: “Bloodhounds after blood money! We got a better name for you SDs! Strontium Dogs!”
(How typical that, having forced most of the mutants into a situation wherein they cannot work and must beg to survive, humans (and possibly aliens; prejudice may not be the exclusive pervue of Man) revile the mutants for taking the only job that is available to them. And though the S/D agents do essentially the same work as the cops --- and intend to clear the streets of their city of one more scumbag --- the Caytorians do not see it that way, and there is no way they would extend any sort of courtesy to these men, professional or otherwise.)

Johnny: “Too bad! You're bound by galactic law not to interfere with us!”

Caytor Cop 1: “Too bad you boned 'em, mutie! They might have told you where Quirxx was holed up!”
Johnny: “They'll still tell me!”

Citizen: “Go swallow some cyanide, Stronty!”

Johnny: “People: they're all the same. Why do you stick with me, Wulf? You don't have to be a bounty hunter. You're no mutant.”
Wulf: “Comrades ve are, Johnny. Vere you go, Wulf go.”
(The simple, uncomplicated friendship and respect for each other that makes two men, who should hate or at least avoid each other, band together in the dirtiest, least desired job in the galaxy)

Welcome to the world of tomorrow!

Where if you're one of the many thousands who were unlucky to be changed by the effects of Strontium-90 in the fallout from the nuclear attack, you're kind of SOL. Nobody will employ you --- by law, they can't --- so you are unable to earn a living. Forced into begging and/or stealing you're going to be an easy target for the hatred rampant across not only Earth, but the entire galaxy. Gone are the days of niggers, wogs and jews: now these very minorities will curse and spit at you as you pass, forgetting that they too endured such treatment in the past, conveniently choosing to fall in with the majority where they once were minorities, hated and despised by those not like them.

But Man has at least by now reached out to the stars, and if you're tough and desperate enough, and good enough, you can make a living chasing down criminals across the galaxy. Oh yeah, there's life out there, and much of it is law-abiding but much of it is not, so you may find yourself chasing alien gangbangers, murderers from distant planets or intergalactic crime lords. These people will think nothing of shooting you down, and even those they oppress and attack will, if forced to, root for them rather than you. Yeah, they'd prefer to see the criminal escape and the bounty hunter dead.

So if you want to be a Search/Destroy Agent, you had better put on your toughest skin and narrow your eyes, close your ears to the incessant insults and deathwishes directed against you. Make sure your back is protected and keep your weapon handy, because the life of a Strontium Dog is neither glamorous nor easy, and in most cases, very brief.

Tools of the trade

Any craftsman relies on his tools, so much more so when they may be the difference between you living and dying. When a gadget is your only hope for survival, in this galaxy you need all the help you can get. In this section I'll be telling you about the tools a Strontium Dog has at his disposal, and how they help him survive just one more day.

Time Drogue: This is an invention that isolates a very small space around the user and causes time to flow backwards, to the point where he wishes it to stop. In practice, this means that a recently dead man can be, as he is here, reanimated, the flesh literally crawling back onto the bones of the skeleton, to allow the agent to question him. Of course, such reversals of time eat up a lot of power and are contrary to the laws of physics, so they can only be used for a short time. But a short time is usually all that's needed, and a bounty hunter is used to working within a tight window of opportunity.

Chameleon Cloak: A wearable device that bends or refracts light around itself, allowing for the illusion of invisibility. What this means is that the wearer can blend into any background, which makes it look as if he is not there.

The Powers that be

Many mutants have no powers --- these are not, after all, the X-Men! ---- but some do, and in this section I'll be pointing out when they do, and how they use them.

Johnny Alpha's main power is in his eyes. They appear white and pupil-less, but emit alpha waves which allow him to see through things --- buildings, people --- if and when he wishes. He can even see into a man's mind, and decipher the complex brainwaves there, to determine whether or not he is telling the truth. A human (!) lie detector.

Messages
Like Judge Dredd, and other 2000AD (and indeed, Starlord) series, Strontium Dog carries with it powerful messages. The most important and most prevalent of these being that, no matter the planet or the galaxy, man's inhumanity to man knows no bounds. Where once it was a case of colour, or race, or nationality, now men discriminate on the grounds of whether you are a mutant (mutie) or not (norm). Setting aside the fact that nobody chose to become mutated, and that their very own laws brought them to where they are now, “norms” see “muties” as dirty, unprincipled, untrustworthy and basically subhuman. They are reviled wherever they go, even if they go there to help. They are seen as mercenaries, for hire to the highest bidder, which is about as far from the truth as you can get.

Strontium Dogs are employed by the Search/Destroy Agency, an arm of the Galactic Crime Commission, and they take their jobs very seriously. They do not go out looking for bounties; they are assigned them when they check in at the base. They do not sell out their commissions, they do not take bribes. They do not look the other way. In many ways, they're almost as tough on crime and as dedicated to their careers as the Judges are, and it's as unlikely to find a corrupt one as it would be to countenance the idea of a Judge taking backhanders. It just doesn't happen.

But norms don't see this, or choose not to see it, and consider Johnny and his kind to be the lowest of the low. Oddly, though they get insulted and snarled at everywhere they go, Strontium Dogs do not seem to react or respond to their baiters. Perhaps there's a clause in their contract that they can't attack someone against whom they have no commission, and after all it would be seen as breaking the law. But you'd think that from time to time a particularly nasty norm could be taken to one side and given a few digs? I guess the mutants want to stay away from anything that might give the norms an excuse to believe they are right about them, and that they're all scum. No point in pouring fuel on the fire.

But Wagner also gives us reason to have hope, as Wulf, who is not mutated in any way, chooses to partner Johnny, simply because they are friends and the big Viking has respect for Johnny. He's a huge man, and I guess few if any insults come his way, because he doesn't look like the kind of man who would just stand there and take it, and that hammer he wields? It looks mean, man!

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Episode II: “Max Quirxx, Part Two”

First print date: May 20 1978
Reprinted: October 21 1978
Prog appearance: 87, but originally in Starlord Issue 2
Writer(s): John Wagner
Artist(s): Carlos Ezquerra
Total episodes: 2

Johnny and Wulf catch up with Max Quirxx, but he seems to have known they were coming, and escapes out the window, firing at them. He then takes a woman and child in a nearby apartment hostage. Johnny knows that Quirxx wiped out a whole city when he didn't get what he wanted, so the lives of two people are nothing to him. He knows he has to move fast, and using his uncanny alpha vision to see through the wall of the apartment, he locates the terrified hostages, noting that they are far enough from his quarry for him to do what he must do. As Wulf lays down covering fire, Johnny throws a Time Bomb in through the window. This isolates the area in which Quirxx is standing and moves the whole region two days forward in time. By then, the planet has moved on in its orbit, and the hostage-taker reappears in empty space. He does not survive long enough to understand what has happened, but the woman and child are safe, and Johnny and Wulf's job has been done.

But if they're expecting thanks they're to be disappointed, as the woman lives up to the general expectations of those the Strontium Dogs deal with every day. Even though Johnny and Wulf saved her life, she snarls when she sees Johnny is a mutant and pulls her child away, as if she might catch something. The child, however, thanks Johnny, which is certainly a welcome change for the mutant. As the Caytor cops spit abuse at them as they leave the planet, their task accomplished, their assignment carried out, Johnny sighs at the attitude of people and as they pass a mutant beggar he takes the wad of cash they have made and deposits it all in the medicant's begging bowl. At least one of his brothers will eat well tonight!

QUOTES
Johnny: “Surrender, Quirxx! We don't want to kill you unless we have to. We'll send you back to Bario-3 to appeal sentence.”
Quirxx: “Get lost, doggy! I wiped out one of their cities with a P-bomb when a little blackmail deal went wrong! They'd laugh me all the way to the vapour chamber!”

Cop: “Men --- if I can call you that --- for years criminals have escaped punishment by hiding in far corners of the galaxy. As Search/Destroy Agents, your job will be to bring them to justice. Frankly, I didn't want to licence freaks like you, but no decent man wants to hunt his brother for money!”
(Hasn't this guy ever heard of bounty hunters back on Earth? Men have always hunted each other for money!)

Robocomp: “Your child has missed four days of pre-conditioning school, Citizen 73826522. Explain!”
Mother: “Well, sir, I --- EEEE!” (As Quirxx jumps in, gun in hand)
Quirxx: “You and the kid --- over in that corner! And stay there!”
Robocomp: “You are interrupting, Citizen! Please make an appointment through the normal channels!”

Woman: “Oh thank you! You saved our lives! I don't know what I --- UGGH! Your eyes! You're a mutant! (to child) Come along Sharon! Don't talk to that man! He's one of those nasty Strontium Dogs!”
Sharon: “No! (to Johnny) Thank you, Mr. Strontium! Mummy doesn't like you, but I think you're a nice man.”
Johnny: “Thanks yourself kid. But if you take my advice you won't go starting any fan club: complete waste of time!”
(What a bitch! Even after Johnny and Wulf have saved her skinny arse, she STILL spouts prejudice and racial hatred at Johnny. I suppose you could say that, had it not been for the two bounty hunters she would not have been taken prisoner in the first place, but even so, you'd think the cow would show a little gratitude. You would think an incident like this might open her eyes, but they're as narrowed as any of the citizens here, and elsewhere. Johnny must wonder why he bothers...)

Tools of the trade

Time Bomb: Rather than the conventional device-ticking-down-to-explosion we're used to, this is a specialised weapon utilised by Strontium Dogs. Somewhat like the Time Drogue in the last episode, it allows time to move, but can be set for a specific length of time. Johnny sets it for two days into the future, by which time the planet has moved in its orbit and the space that Quirxx has been occupying is empty space. See "Houston, we have a problem!" below for more.

Messages
Although Wagner's central theme in this series is the prejudice and hatred directed against the mutants, we see here that there is again a sliver of hope. If a child like Sharon can go against her mother's wishes, seeing no reason to hate this man and every reason to like him, and to thank him for their rescue, then maybe, just maybe she may grow up to be someone who will have a little more tolerance towards the Strontium Dogs, remember she was saved by one once, and perhaps she can carry this experience on to her own children, so that one day, at least a part of the population of this planet may no longer hate the mutants. It may be a small step, but could very well be a huge one in the grand scheme of things.

We also see, at the end, that though Johnny and Wulf are villifed for their profession, and the cops sneer that they work for blood money, they are not that mercenary, as Johnny decides that the payment for this job leaves a bad taste in his mouth, and agrees that they can do without it, giving it instead to a begging mutant, who will certainly be most pleasantly surprised when he lifts his head and looks into his bowl. Johnny does what he can to lighten the burden of his fellow mutants, never forgetting that not every one of them can be a Strontium Dog, and that for those to whom this avenue is closed off, life is hard, brutal and often short.

Show no mercy?
Although Strontium Dogs have a terrible reputation, and they certainly can kill, and are authorised to do so in some cases, there seems to exist a certain amount of leeway as to how they carry out their commission. The old western epithet “wanted dead or alive” can often apply, and here we see that, though Johnny and Wulf have a Termination Warrant, which allows them to, if they deem it necessary, execute Quirxx, they give him the option of surrender. If he does, they will take him back to the planet to which he is to be extradited, there to appeal against his sentence. One can only assume he skipped bail after having been tried and found guilty. Still, considering what he's supposed to have done you would wonder that he wasn't sentenced to death, and the planet has the death penalty obviously, as he mentions the Vapour Chamber.

But all that notwithstanding, and leaving aside the fact that Johnny would probably be happy to kill Quirxx for what he has done, chances are that the people he killed were norms, so maybe he does not care too much about them, being a mutant. But then, he goes out of his way to make sure that two innocents --- both norms --- are not harmed, so he obviously does not lower himself to their level. Anyway, Quirxx spurns the opportunity to give himself up and instead earns himself a cold and quick death, which is probably what he deserved. Still, the fact remains that Johnny gave him a chance, a choice, which is probably more than Max Quirxx gave the citizens of that city he says he bombed.

Houston, we have a problem!

I have always had a hard time understanding the logic behind the Time Bombs. To me, time travel, if ever feasible, would have to take into account the movement and rotation of the Earth. After all, you don't want to go 100 years into the future but find you're in Antartica, or the Sahara Desert! So surely if you move in time you also move in space, as Einstein proved that they are actually one interlinked entity known as spacetime? The idea, therefore, of the planet moving on and a person travelling in time finding themselves no longer on the planet has fucked my mind for decades. I even tried to work out the orbit of the Earth last night and it seems it moves a complete orbit in about seven minutes, but how do you know which of those seven minutes two days into the future encompasses? Couldn't you as easily be lucky enough to land at the moment when the Earth is coming back around for its latest seven-minute pass?

I'll never get it, but John Wagner was the only one who put forward this theory. Of course, it was conveniently ignored in any of his other strips, including Judge Dredd, and was only here for the purposes of legitimising the Time Bomb, but to this day I still can't figure out if his logic is sound, or if he was just screwing with us as kids to try to confuse us and make his story work. Anyone wants to weigh in on this topic, feel free.

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Note: It appears I may have been wrong about reprints. From what I can see, when the series transferred over from the ill-fated Starlord they did not reprint the old stories that had already taken place in that magazine, but continued on. Hence, it would seem, none of the Starlord stories were shown in 2000AD. Sorry about that.

Episode III: “Papa Por-ka, Part I”

First print date: May 27 1978
Prog appearance: Starlord Issue 3
Writer(s): John Wagner
Artist(s): Carlos Ezquerra
Total episodes: 3

On the way to their next assignment Johnny and Wulf are travelling aboard a starliner, much to the disgust of the norm passengers, when the ship is attacked by a space pirate who goes by the name of Papa Por-ka and looks like, well, a pirate pig! Banished to the cargo hold --- “This is First Class --- Sir! The rules say mutants travel cargo --- Sir!” (was ever an honorific so begrudgingly bestowed and so insincere, as to almost sound like an insult?) --- the bounty hunters meet a strange alien being, who eats metal and is afraid of just about everything, necessitating his travelling in a box, lest anything spook him. He is a gronk, and his kind can quite easily die from fright.

The gronk is a timid little creature with a nose like an elephant's trunk, through which he speaks, while his mouth is located low on his stomach. Wulf takes an instant liking to the creature. Just then, the pirate ship attacks, hitting the astroliner with a tractor beam. Completely defenceless, the cruiser is no match for a pirate vessel, and Johnny and Wulf are asked to come up to the bridge where the captain asks for their advice. Johnny points out that the tractor beam has already locked on, and in addition their weapons were taken from them on boarding the ship, so there is little really that they can do. However, no matter how the norms treated him and Wulf, Johnny Alpha is not a man to abandon civilians to their fate, so they grab whatever weapons are to hand and lay into the pirates as they board.

Their cause is useless however and they are soon overwhelmed. Seeing how well the two Strontium Dogs fought, the pirate leader orders them taken prisoner, where he declares their boss will want to talk to them.

QUOTES
Alien mother: “Goodbye, Grenjnog! Be sure to thought-transmit as soon as you get to Ursa Minor!”

Wulf: “Vot in gott's name --- are you?”
Gronk: “I-I'm a gronk, sir! From B-Blas, in the Gallego system! P-pardon me for existings, Sir! Please don't hurt me!”
Wulf: “I von't hurt you, gronk! Vot you do here?”
Gronk: “We g-gronks always travel in our b-boxes, Sir. We're very shy. Excitements is bad for our p-poor heartses!”

Gronk: “Oh dear, oh dear! I forgot humans find our eating habits u-unpleasant! If I've offended you sir, I'll die!”
Wulf: “Vulf is not offended! Stomach is smart place to haf mouth! Near to business end, ja? I like you, gronk! You and Vulf friends vill be!”

Captain: “This is a routine astroflight, Mister Alpha. We don't carry any fighting capabilities.”
Johnny: “So now you want us to help you? But it's too late Captain: our weapons are already locked away, and the pirates will be through your hull in seconds!”

Johnny: “Grab anything that even looks like a weapon! You've got to fight! Pirates don't take many prisoners!”

Welcome to the world of tomorrow!

Where you can hop on a spaceliner and tke a trip to the next star system as easily as we jump on planes now and go from country to country. These huge astroliners are built for comfort, not defence, so when a pirate ship attacks there's little hope of beating them back. Papa Por-ka of course knows this; it's the very reason he targets the ship in the first place. Like all pirates, he's looking for soft targets. It also seems that, though mutants are not refused permission to travel on these, they are seen as little better than pets, or luggage, as they have to travel in the cargo section. This rule is enforced despite the fact that here, Johnny and Wulf have paid for First Class seats.

The Powers That Be

Once again, Johnny's uncanny alpha-vision allows him to see through the very hull of the spaceliner, to note the huge attack craft grappling on with its tractor beam. Even though he's one tough mofo, the Strontium Dog knows that the day is lost before it even begins. There are no weapons they can commandeer, the ship has no defensive capabilities and no doubt their signal for help is being jammed by the pirates.

Show no mercy?

Again Johnny shows that he is so much better than the people who revile him and his kind. When he realises that the pirate ship is attacking, knowing of the bloodthirsty appetites of such raiders, he entreats everyone to fight, grabbing any weapon they can, for he knows that pirates seldom bother with prisoners --- or leave witnesses. Despite the fact that, only a few hours ago he and Wulf were unceremoniously marched out of the First Class compartment, with the insults and jibes of the norm passengers ringing in their ears, despite the fact that they have been treated as little better than animals or criminals, Alpha still feels a sense of responsibility to the passengers. He does note, acidly though, that had he and Wulf been allowed to retain their weapons they might have had a better chance of defending the ship...

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Episode IV: “Papa Por-ka, Part II”

First print date: June 3 1978
Prog appearance: Starlord Issue 4
Writer(s): John Wagner
Artist(s): Carlos Ezquerra
Total episodes: 3

With the astroliner completely under his control, Papa Por-ka gives the passengers one choice only: join his murderous band of pirates or die. Those who choose not to serve are unceremoniously ejected out the airlock into space: the space pirates don't even waste their weapons on them. Meanwhile, their association with the Gronk has been serendipitous for Johnny and Wulf, imprisoned in the brig. The pirates obviously know nothing about the timid little creature, least of all that it can eat through metal! When the Gronk finds them imprisoned he is eager to help, and dissolves the cell bars with his saliva. The bounty hunters are soon free, but they are only two against many, and have still no weapons. They manage to jemmy open the weapons locker on the ship and recover them though: now they are armed!

And not a moment too soon! Just then pirates come around the corner, blasting at them. Johnny and Wulf duck into the locker, and Johnny uses a Time-Trap to keep the pirates in a temporal loop of two seconds, so that they can advance no further. It's like watching an endlessly looped piece of videotape, or listening to the same few seconds of music over and over again. As they move on, the two bounty hunters fear for the safety of the passengers and crew of the Sondheim. They know what scum space pirates are, and lives --- human or alien, norm or mutant --- mean nothing to them. As they advance to the cruiser's command bridge, Johnny knows it's going to be one hell of a fight.

QUOTES
Gronk: “Oh my poor heartses! All this excitments has made me positively ill! Gronkses have very weak heartses, you know!”
Wulf: “Very brave, you haf been! Go back to your box now, little friend. Ve come for you when der fighting is all over!”

Pirate: “These two fought well, Papa. The thin one's a Strontium Dog: a bounty hunter! They could be useful.”
Papa Por-ka: “Yes, dat am possible. What you say boys? You want join Papa Por-ka?”
Wulf: “A hundred times Wulf die before he serve you!”
Johnny: “We got animals on Earth that remind me of you, pirate. We call 'em pigs!”

Johnny: “The Time-Trap was only set for the minimum two seconds --- here they come again!”
Pirates: “The bounty hunters! Kill them!”
Wulf: “Ja, und every time they cross der time trap zone they get sent two seconds back in time again! Is clever, Johnny!”

Tools of the trade
Time-Trap: Johnny uses this on the pirates in order to effectively freeze them in time, so that they can advance no further. I don't actually know if this is the same weapon he used on Max Quirxx in the first episode, but that was called a Time Bomb. Seems to operate on the same principle, though in that episode Alpha set it for the future, whereas here it's the past, but only a mere two seconds.

Beam Polariser: This is mentioned at the end of the chapter, when Johnny says it will nullify the weapons of the pirates. Quite how it works I don't know, but we may find out in the third and final chapter.

Electronux: Again, these are only referred to in the final panel, but you can see them and they appear to be basically an electronic pair of knuckle-dusters, hence perhaps the name. Again, we will probably see them in action in the next part.

Friends in low places
Though Johnny and his kind are considered the lowest of the low by the norms, it's creatures like the Gronk, who most people would ignore or think a disgusting alien, that help him when he needs it most. Here, the Gronk chews through the bars of the cell Wulf and Johnny are in. The pirates seem to know nothing about Gronks, and have not bothered to even secure the little guy, probably believing he poses no risk, or is perhaps someone's pet.

Show no mercy?
You would have to think that with Johnny and Wulf's experience of starships, spaceships and even the odd luxury cruiser, they would be able to locate an escape craft and head off, leaving the passengers and crew to their fate. But Johnny is not about to abandon these people, even if they are mutant-hating norms. Not only that, Papa Por-ka, while not an actual commission, is breaking the law and, like Dredd, Alpha is sworn to uphold the law and take down the bad guys. He may not get paid for this job if he succeeds, but he doesn't care. Sometimes, it's about more than the money.

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Episode V: “Papa Por-ka, Part III”

First print date: June 10 1978
Prog appearance: Starlord Issue 5
Writer(s): John Wagner
Artist(s): Carlos Ezquerra
Total episodes: 3

As Johnny and Wulf burst into the bridge of the starliner, the pirates' weapons are neutralised by the Beam Polariser, as Alpha had mentioned they would. Por-ka grabs the captain of the Sondheim, holding a knife to his throat and demanding the bounty hunters drop their weapons. It would appear though that the Beam Polariser is not user-specific, and the mutant's weapon is also useless, till Wulf smashes the polariser and Alpha can now fire. He fine-tunes his shot to pass through the hostage and enter the pirate's shoulder, shocking Papa Por-ka, who lets the captain go as he reels backwards in pain.

Aware that the game is up, the pirate leader agrees to send any of the crew and passengers who have not yet been murdered back to the astroliner from where they have been held on the pirate vessel. With all survivors back on board and Alpha in control of the starliner, he reaches an unusual agreement with Por-ka: in return for the pirate's promise to allow them leave he will return them to their own ship, rather than take them in. Surprised, Papa Por-ka agrees, but it's obvious that he has no intention of holding to the arrangement. As the captain looks on in horror and berates Alpha for letting the pirate go, Por-ka appears on the monitor, smirking that he is coming back to finish the job.

But Johnny, of course, is no fool. He expected this treachery, and has planted a tiny nuclear device in the pirate's pocket. One push of the trigger and the pirate ship is vapourised. The day has been saved, but for the Gronk it has all been too much. The excitement he has gone through, even though he spent most of the fight locked away in his box, has burst his heart and he is dying. As Wulf and Johnny look on, grief-stricken but powerless, the Gronk tells them of his people's custom, that if someone close to them wears their skin after death, it is a great honour. Aghast at such a tradition, but being a viking himself and understanding the significance of such rituals, Wulf agrees that when the Gronk dies he will skin him, and wear him as a jerkin. The little body is ejected into space with full honours. It has not been a good day, despite their survival.

QUOTES
Papa Por-ka: “We may be de scum of de universe, boys, but we am de richest scum!”

Captain: “You're crazy, Alpha! You can't trust the word of a creature like that!”
Johnny: “No choice. As soon as those scum realised Por-ka wasn't coming back they'd have chosen a new leader and attacked us again!”

Wulf: “Dying? But there must be something ve can do...”
Gronk: “Nothing can keep a Gronk alive once he has started to die. But there is one thing you can do.. skin me!”
Wulf: “Skin you? But...”
Gronk: “You see, we Gronks believe that if someone dear to us wears our skin, a little bit of us lives on. You have been kind to me, Sir. I'd like you to wear me as a jerkin.”
Johnny: “He's gone. Poor little fellow.”
Wulf: “Your customs are strange, little Gronk, but ja! Wulf will wear you.”

Captain: “We owe our lives to you, Mr. Alpha. I'm ashamed of how we treated you. If there's anything I can do...”
Johnny: “Just remember that mutants are still human beings, Captain. Treat them like humans, not animals.”

Tools of the trade
Beam Polariser: As intimated in the previous chapter, this draws all the energy from weapons to itself and makes them useless. The drawback with this appears to be that it also renders the user's weapons useless, so it's a bit of a EMP sort of thing, an electromagnetic pulse that knocks everything out and, I guess, levels the playing field. It's probably for this reason that Strontium Dogs don't employ them very often.

Electronux: As expected, this is basically a device worn on the knuckles which emits an electric shock of twenty thousand volts to the unfortunate recipient. The disadvantage here, I guess, is you have to be in striking distance of a target for it to work, as it only operates on contact. (I'm sure it didn't escape the notice of the makers of vacuum cleaners Electrolux how close this is to the name of their product!)

Blaster: The mainstay of the Strontium Dog's arsenal, it seems to be specially calibrated to allow it to determine depth and adjust its fire accordingly. It must though be a projectile weapon rather than a laser, as no matter where you planned for a laser beam to end up it would cut down everything in its path. This obviously uses some sort of bullet or shell, rather like Dredd's Lawgiver. As I learn (or relearn) more about it I will let you know.

Mini-nuke: Seems to do what it says on the tin. A nuclear device so small it can be slipped into a pocket, but which packs enough punch to take a cruiser down. Handy thing to have. Can be detonated by remote control.

Show no mercy?
Well that does sort of apply here. Whether Johnny is prepared to allow the pirates to escape should they stick to the agreement not to attack the astroliner or not, is unclear. It seems unlikely though: Papa Por-ka and his crew have already killed many of the crew and passengers of the Sondheim, and you would have to think they would be expected to pay for that. In the event, even though he's an alien Por-ka turns out to be as human as any of us, and with safety in his grasp prepares to renege on the deal, whereupon Alpha has no problem detonating the device. When he needs to be, Johnny Alpha can kill almost without thinking, and certainly without any remorse.

Letter of the Law
Here though I wonder if we shouldn't explore whether or not Johnny has exceeded his authority. Firstly, he is not on a job, or if he is it isn't this one. He has received no commission on Papa Por-ka, so has he the moral or even legal right to kill him? Admittedly, it's turned into a kill-or-be-killed situation, but is he allowed to do this? In the strictest sense of the law --- here on Earth anyway and you would assume throughout the galaxy --- the rule is innocent until proven guilty. Certainly, Por-ka and his crew have committed murder, piracy of course, taken hostages and detained a civilian craft with no cause. Any of these may very well carry a strict penalty, even the death penalty.

Or could it be that galactic law practices the same zero-tolerance policy with which pirates were treated in Elizabethan England and before, where the mere commission of an act of piracy was reason to hang a man? If so, out here on the fringes of space where there is no law enforcement presence, can it be too hard to imagine that “frontier law” applies: that if anyone engages in piracy then any registered law enforcement official --- including Search/Destroy Agents --- is within his legal right to terminate them, to execute swift and summary justice out here in the coldness of space?

And yet, what about the crew? Por-ka has already shown that he allows those who wish to join him to do so, and is it not reasonable to assume that his ship contained people who were captured and had no intention of being pirates but did not want to die, so were pressed into service? Is it fair for Johnny to assume everyone on board the pirate ship is a killer, or culpable in the killings? If he is in fact executing innocents along with the guilty, what does that say of him?

One other thing to take into account though: a nuclear blast will contaminate much of the surrounding space here. Is Alpha authorised to use such extreme measures, given the environmental implications of such action? Of course, this is just a comic and many of these questions will go unanswered, even unasked. But still, you do have to think about these things.

Return of the Nitpicker!
Yes I'm at it again. Given that he's in something of a state of shock and grief at the death of the little Gronk you could perhaps forgive Wulf for some words mispronounced, but in the course of one sentence he misses three: “Wulf will wear you” should surely be “Vulf vill vear you”? Yeah I know, I'm a bastard!

Personal Darkness
Just in case we all think it's always about shooting the bad guys, rescuing the hostages and living to fight another day, 2000AD is littered with reminders that there is often a heavy price to pay for victory, and Strontium Dog is no exception.

We see the first real tragedy unfold here, and it's quite unexpected as we've been getting used to, and probably liking the Gronk, so when he dies at the end of what is basically a victorious day, it takes the gloss of it. It's a stark reminder that in every battle, someone will fall and it may be your best friend. Wulf's agreement to wear the Gronk's skin in tribute to their friendship is touching, and appropriate for a warrior, though normally it would be the skins of their enemies they would be expected to wear. This turns that idea around very nicely, making it a mark of respect rather than of pride or conquest.

Aliens!
As Johnny's work takes he and Wulf all over the galaxy, they do of course run into, and sometimes down, alien races. Here I'll be talking about them, what they're like, what we get to know about them, any little idiosyncrasies and how much, if any, of a part they play in the overall story.

GRONK:

The first truly alien species we meet, Gronks come from the planet Blas, which we've been told is in the Gallego star system. They look sort of like muppets, with a teardrop-shaped head which tapers to the top in scruffy, scrubby tufts of hair, large yes which look quite mournful and a long elongated snout which reaches out from the middle of their faces, like a tube or an elephant's trunk. They are highly excitable, very nervous and almost everything scares them, which is why when they have to travel (something they usually avoid doing) they pass most or all of the trip in a purpose-built box or trunk.

Gronks tend to pluralise a lot of words that are not normally treated so, such as the word “heart”, which they call “heartses”. Whether or not Gronks have two hearts, or are just double-pluralising the word, I'm not sure. Other words like “excitement” have just the one “s” added, so the former may be the case. Gronks subsist on a diet of metal, and have powerful acids in their stomach which can dissolve the metal and break it down for digestion. They also keep their mouth low in their stomach, and they have four arms, (first one who says “forewarned is four-armed”, I swear...) which are are small and spindly, with three fingers on each hand, while their legs are squat and short, ending in flat, splayed feet split into two large toes. They are covered from head to toe in fur or hair, apart from their faces.

We learn from this episode that it is considered the highest honour in Gronk society for the skin of one to be worn by someone who has meant a lot to them, and that through this custom they believe that something of them lives on. Therefore, to be skinned and worn after death is the highest compliment a Gronk can be paid.

Note: I assume Papa Por-ka is an alien (he looks like a pig on legs) but I don't know his race, nor any of the others in his crew, a motley lot. He could even be a mutant I suppose, but I doubt it. I'll only therefore mention races here about whom I know enough to write something.

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Episode IX: “Robot wars”

First print date: April 30 1977
Prog appearance: 10
Writer(s): John Wagner
Artist(s): Carlos Ezquerra
Total episodes: 8

And so we come to the very first multi-part Dredd story, spread out over eight separate progs, and which shows the previous episode as having been the prologue to this epic. Bringing together for the first time the original creators of the strip, this story explores what happens when, as presaged in “Robot wars”, the machines have enough of being treated like slaves and rise up against their oppressive masters. (Note: Although the episodes were not numbered in the progs (each being in a separate issue was pretty self-explanatory) I'll for the sake of clarity be labelling them as such here).

Chapter I

A mere few days after the attack at the Robot of the Year Show, one of the bigger robots goes on a rampage, stealing from an oil store and destroying all in his path, declaring “Death to the fleshy ones!” A police hover vehicle sent to the scene is easily swatted aside as the robot, Call-Me-Kenneth, stomps off with his cache of oil and vows to rule Mega-City One. There is of course only one force you call in when something bizarre like this happens, and the message is soon flashed to Justice Central, where Dredd, already thinking about the possibility of robots rebelling, is chilled by the words of the dispatcher: robot on the loose, death toll so far is seven. Dredd knows that Call-Me-Kenneth has as part of his body a huge carpentry saw, and shudders at the mayhem he could wreak with such a weapon. He is soon rushing to the scene.

He comes across the robot feeding one of the local cops into a garbage disposal, and blows his head off. But Call-Me-Kenneth just laughs, telling Dredd that his control circuits are deep within his chest and protected by armour plating. Headless, he continues his murderous rampage, slotting a chainsaw onto his interchangeable tool arm and lunging at Dredd. But his visual sensors having been in his head, he does not see Dredd duck at the last moment, and turns away, believing he has killed the Judge. Blundering sightlessly on, Call-Me-Kenneth does not realise that he is directly underneath the power cables for the skyrail, and Dredd shoots with unerring accuracy, hitting the cable and knocking it down onto the robot.

Out of control now, Call-Me-Kenneth slices at himself with the huge chainsaw and is soon a heap of scrap metal, collapsing to the ground. Dredd stands over it, relieved that the threat is over for now, but prophesies dark times ahead if this is not an isolated incident. The city could soon be facing full scale war against its own robots, and who knows how they would meet that challenge?

QUOTES
Call-Me-Kenneth: “Death to the fleshy ones!”

Call-Me-Kenneth: “Now I have oil I am free! No-one can stop me! Soon Call-Me-Kenneth will rule Mega-City!”

Dredd: “We give robots the ability to think, give them human shape and emotions. How long before they develop that other human trait --- evil?”

Dredd: “I sentence you to disintegration!”

Call-Me-Kenneth: “You created me to be your slave, but you built me too well!”

Dredd: “Until today, nobody believed a robot could deliberately commit a crime. If we Judges don't act fast we may find ourselves facing the greatest threat Mega-City One has ever known: full scale war with robots!”

Welcome to the world of tomorrow!

Or more likely, stay in your present! After years of being subservient to humans, robots are about to explode into revolt and take on their masters, and who in Mega-City One does not have something that's not robotic in nature? Just imagine: you go to make toast and it snaps your fingers. You put on the washing are are pulled inside the machine. You sit down to watch the TV and it attacks you. Yeah, everything mechanical with any sort of rudimentary intelligence is about to get its pound of flesh: literally. You don't wanna be here when it all kicks off!

Ch-ch-ch-ch-changes

We see Dredd select high-ex on his Lawgiver (still not named as such) but later we will, as I've mentioned before, find they have been upgraded to respond to vocal commands, eliminating the split-seconds necessary to manually turn the selector.

NEW CHARACTER!

Sort of. Walter, the vending robot, is shown in this episode for the first time. He will later become Dredd's servant and a real pain in both his and my arse. He has a very annoying lisp, leading to him calling himself Walter the Wobot. Arrrrggghhh!!! Makes you want to go kill every robot you can find. Funny: they're thinking the same thing about you...

I'll ask the questions, creep!
What was it that set Call-Me-Kenneth off? He says he's tired of being used, but what was the trigger? Or is this one robot's rampage merely symptomatic of a wider, deeper malaise in the machines of Mega-City One, a simmering anger that is coming to a boil, and finds its first outlet in the mad carpenter robot?

I AM THE LAW!
Dredd may very well sympathise with, or at least understand these robots, for so long mistreated by his kind. But when one of them breaks the law, all bets are off. Once you commit a crime, once you step out of line you're in Dredd's wheelhouse, and he will hunt you down with the remorseless coldness he is known and feared for. Human or robot, man or machine, nobody can escape Judge Dredd.

Laughing in the face of death
We haven't seen much in the way of dark humour yet, but here Call-Me-Kenneth roars, as he launches his chainsaw arm at Dredd, “Call-Me-Kenneth has steel appeal!” Not a bad start, but it will get very much better as time goes on.

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