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Old 09-28-2016, 02:35 PM   #21 (permalink)
Jacob Sartorius
 
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Today's review is Jesus The Carpenter's Jesus Loves You.


How do I describe Jesus loves you? Uhhh... I was 16, had my first act guitar for about a week and thought I was gods gift to man on the instrument already. So I hit the record button and outcomes some of my first pieces. And those musical pieces were atrocious. The fret buzz, the timing being seriously off, and the mis-playing of notes. Jesus loves you sounds a bit better than that. Yet it still sounds like every boy who just got his first instrument and after a week of playing already thinks they're a master.

Does the album have its moments? Yes. The Return of Shiva has a moment where it sounds like a old 1940's blues song that definitely was a nice moment. A number of the songs have moments where they become a bit more traditional sounding (though I use the term traditional loosely). I'd say the album gets better as it goes along but I definitely wouldn't call it good.

Favorite track: Experienced Cleaning Training Sessions
That's only because it's the last song that ends this bad album. Sorry frown, awful. Just awful. Don't quit your day job.
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Last edited by Blank.; 09-28-2016 at 03:36 PM.
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Old 09-28-2016, 02:47 PM   #22 (permalink)
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Surprised you didn't like it, it's my favourite stoner rock record.
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Old 09-28-2016, 02:52 PM   #23 (permalink)
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I remember when that ****ty album cover was just a ****ty photo he posted in the Member Picture Gallery.
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Old 09-28-2016, 02:56 PM   #24 (permalink)
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#batlordjealousofthoselegs
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Old 09-28-2016, 02:56 PM   #25 (permalink)
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Frownland View Post
#batlordjealousofthoselegs
ihavethosesamelegs/10
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Neward Thelman View Post
"SMOKE CRACK MUDA****KKA"

I'll check that dictionary, but in the meantime I'm impressed - as is everyone else in the world - by your eloquence, obvious accomplishments and success, and the evidence of your blazingly high intelligence.
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He just doesn't have a mind so closed that it rivals Blockbuster.
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Old 09-28-2016, 04:24 PM   #26 (permalink)
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Quote:
Originally Posted by _Violet_ View Post
I love it more than Qwerty. Qwerty can suck my dick.
Wait, who are you?
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I'm not even mad. Seriously I'm not. You're a good dude, and I think and hope you'll become something good
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Old 09-28-2016, 09:17 PM   #27 (permalink)
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Frownland View Post
Surprised you didn't like it, it's my favourite stoner rock record.
I listened to the album and I heard nothing from it to consider it stoner rock.
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Old 09-28-2016, 09:29 PM   #28 (permalink)
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Ki View Post
I listened to the album and I heard nothing from it to consider it stoner rock.
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Neward Thelman View Post
"SMOKE CRACK MUDA****KKA"

I'll check that dictionary, but in the meantime I'm impressed - as is everyone else in the world - by your eloquence, obvious accomplishments and success, and the evidence of your blazingly high intelligence.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Frownland View Post
He just doesn't have a mind so closed that it rivals Blockbuster.
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Old 09-28-2016, 09:34 PM   #29 (permalink)
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Ki View Post
I listened to the album and I heard nothing from it to consider it stoner rock.
You didn't listen to it right then.
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Old 09-28-2016, 09:43 PM   #30 (permalink)
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Ki View Post
I listened to the album and I heard nothing from it to consider it stoner rock.
You couldn't hear that fuzzy guitar in there?
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