I want to say before I get into this that I in no way want to make this feel like I'm trying to get nice things from people in the worst time of their life. These are items that have been gifted to me to hold onto for life as the previous owners have now passed away. I take them into my collection respectfully and I hold them near and dear to my heart.

With the passing of my grandmother a few years ago and now with my grandpa passing away recently, part of the process is collecting the items that he owned and putting it in a place for safe keeping. I've been honored time and time again to be gifted items from now both my grandparents after they had passed away. It definitely helps to have items in the room to just sort of hope that a part of them is still there watching over you.

Back when my grandma passed away, I was given this:

https://upload.wikimedia.org/wikiped...StarWarsLP.jpg

This is just a picture online but I have that exact copy. Somehow, my grandma knew I was going to love Star Wars later in life before I was even born, and I feel like she held onto this for the exact moment to have it handed over to me. It's stayed in my collection ever since and I'm never getting rid of it.

Now, up to recently, there were a few other things gifted to me to further solidify the collection that helps me feel a little bit better knowing that they are both now in some form watching. I know that may or may not be true but hey, it helps.

Once again, I think somehow my grandpa knew that I was going to love music in a big way later in my life so he held onto these for this exact moment to get them to me:

https://i.imgur.com/du6Cmjg.jpg?2 https://i.imgur.com/SfWfQIn.jpg?1 https://i.imgur.com/KkkmT5b.jpg?1

These are some of the greatest gifts I've ever been given and I feel like in a lot of ways, they were gifted to me directly from my grandparents. They just had to know. They had to.

Oh man. Those toys are just the coolest! My daughter would kill for those.

I couldn't quite believe it when my mom gave them to me but I'm absolutely in awe. They're fantastic.

If this was facebook, I would click the heart emoji.

Update: 01/29/2021

Depression. Anxiety. Stress. Uncontrollable.

These past 2 years, or so, have been a real test to not only my mental health, but my sanity as well. I've talked countlessly about how at some point I need to talk to somebody, but in the mean time, I'm choosing to put my emotions elsewhere to at least cope with what's been going on.

So...what's been going on? Well, simply put, things are not good. Late 2020, I went out with this girl for a few days, and although we knew each of us felt strongly about each other, it was decided that we were going to stay friends. I'm cool with that. I don't hold grudges. People should feel comfortable with what they want and how they want to live their life, and I can't be the controlling type in that situation. I never have been. But yeah, it hurt. You get the feeling that you were meant to be with someone, and despite both feeling the same way, realistically it just wasn't going to work. We could have made it work, but our friendship has gotten stronger as a result. And that to me is perfectly good. I'm happy with that. at least I didn't lose a strong connection with someone. So yeah, that sucked. But we're best friends now so it worked out. Who knows what the future holds.

Now, around January of this year, I was given the news that both my dad and my grandma have cancer. This is the 3rd time for my dad, different case. I think he'll be fine because he's strong and can fight anything thrown his way. The worry is my grandma. She's got cancer in the bladder area, and the tumor is not at all in a comfortable state. They attempted surgery, and while the surgery was somewhat successful, the tumor was not removed. Knowing this, my grandma will be going through chemo to decrease the size of the tumor. They told us it would have been detrimental to her health if they were to remove it. Yeah, that sucks. But doctors are smart. I trust them.

My dad, while it's not the worst of the two, still has to go through the same process he's been through before. Chemo, surgery, etc. However, as opposed to the first two times, they said the risk of him having half his face paralyzed is an enormous possibility. We are hoping it doesn't happen, but it very well could.

My mind and soul have taken a real beating, and my anxiety and depression have peaked. I'm still smoking, and I'm trying to quit. But it's hard with everything going on.

My friends have been super supportive but unfortuantely, this is something I should handle on my own. But I know I need help.

I don't know what to say, except that I think you're right; this is too heavy to expect someone to deal with it without any help. The right support is out there, I hope you'll find it soon. In the meantime it's good that you have friends to lean on, although I can imagine there's only so much they can do. Hold on.

Thanks. I'm doing fine for the most part. Just been working a lot. Keeping my mind busy.

https://i.imgur.com/MO6uc3p.jpg

Strap in, it's a long one.

I've had this on my mind for the past week and I want to post it here because I always love reading stories like this, and it's personal so whatever.
I took the day off about a week ago, which is something I never do. I don't like the feeling of taking the day off on a work day. I just feel like I can get so much more done, but sometimes you just need to give yourself a break.

(I wasn't feeling well enough to go in, both physically and mentally. Yes I did get tested, and yes, it came back negative.)

The thing I did not expect was what I came back to the day after. I went into work and I was immediately met with "I missed you!" and "are you ok?" all from many many people that came into the store that day. These are customers I deal with on a daily basis, and they are constant reminders of why I love the job that I do and why I love dealing with people in the way that I do. I get to be the reason someone leaves in a good mood, or I get to be the reason someone leaves the store smiling or laughing. There are not a lot of things more rewarding than making other people happy, even with something so miniscule as sending a letter first-class. I know I've talked about this before, but with as much negativity there is in the world, I wanted to bring some positivity into it.

I had people tell me that they only come to this store to see me so that I can help them, and when I wasn't there, they said they purposely came back when I was there so that they could have me help them. Again, some of these are rather simple transactions, but they weren't coming in just for the transaction. It's a nice gesture that I'll probably never get used to. It hits me personally in ways that I can't even begin to explain. I take it with me forever.

Sure, being an assistant manager at a store is great, and believe me, I love it. It's given me opportunities I've never had before. I work with people I would have never worked with had I not applied, and these people have just become normal friends that I get to see on a daily basis. Could just be simply coming in to check your mail and exchange a short "hello". But even that is wonderful. At the end of the day, it's just a title, though. And I treat it as such. It's not a definition. What really matters most is what people get out of the conversations and transactions that I work with them on. If you want to talk about what you're going through, please tell me, my ears are open. I will talk with you about whatever you want. And the transaction will be complete before you know it. I'm not just a man behind the counter looking for business. Obviously that's a big part of it, but my ultimate goal is to ensure that you are comfortable and happy with your experience in the store.
Today there was even another good example. I helped a lady with a notary and it went extremely well. She was happy and excited to have it done. She then pulled me to the side and told me that every time she comes into the store, I bring an energy to the room that is so inviting and positive and it's the main reason she comes to the store. She said she has come in when it's busy, and she's impressed with the level of calmness and positivity I can bring, despite it being crazy and hectic at times. Here's the thing, I can't control how busy it gets, but I can control how I react to it. And I'm going to react positively because well...why not.
I mean it, I take that to heart. And it stays there. I've worked in this position for about 4 years now, and I don't see myself changing that any time soon. Customers ask me from time to time if I plan on going anywhere, my usual response is "no", and they immediately respond with "good." Even just a small thing like that makes me feel like I've been put in this position for a reason. I belong there. I belong in a place where I can make other people happy. It's my calling.

Sure, it's simply just a printing store, but I don't look at it that way. And I don't think my mindset will ever change. I just want people to be happy. That's all.

Be good to yourselves and do what you can to be a light in the dark.

That's all I have for now.

Before Batty or jwb or someone comes in with negatives about how what you do doesn't matter, or how you're working for the Man and he don't care etc, I'd just like to say this is a really uplifting piece and really nice to read that you have that kind of attitude, towards both your customers and your fellow staff. I know it doesn't happen like that enough. Most people see work as a place they have to go in order to be able to make the rent, eat and have electricity (a bumper sticker on one of the cars at the office when I used to work read I owe, I owe, so off to work I go: it's funny and clever, but it does illustrate the fact that most people go to work because they have to, because they have no other choice, and if they could avoid doing so, they would). You seem to be very much the exception to the rule, Key: a person who presumably gets up looking forward to work every day, and brings that positive attitude to those he works with and those he serves in the shop.

It's a rare and very precious gift. Don't lose it.

Been doing a lot of personal reflection these past few weeks given that this April is the last full month of my 20's. I'm looking forward to bringing even more creativity and positivity into my 30's. I hope, as well, to continue to strengthen my weaknesses and continue to bring positivity wherever possible. And to continue to express to others that a simple smile can bring a lot of positivity into someone's day.

Musically, it's going to be a lot of fun seeing the things I create as I move on later in life. It is not something I'll put to the side, even when the going gets tough. Honestly, my passion for a creative outlet only grows the longer I do it.

On top of all of this, I also hope to come to terms with the person I've become and to look at the negatives as a way to perform more positively.

Age doesn't have to be a negative. It can be a motivator.