Trollheart

"Man lives in the sunlit world of what he believes to be reality. But, there is, unseen by most, another world, just as real but not as brightly lit. A darkside."



Title: “Red Leader”
Series: Tales from the Darkside
Season: 3
Year: 1987
Writer(s): Edithe Swensen

Storyline: A sleazy real estate broker is not exactly crying over the death of his partner, or ex-partner in the firm. Jake got into debt and Alex “helped him out” with a loan, which ended up handing all of Jake’s stock to his partner. Now that he’s dead, Jake’s widow has nothing. All her stock, held through her husband, is gone, her car has been repossessed and there is no windfall coming to her. She’s hardly heartbroken either: she admits she only married Jake for his cash, and now that he’s gone and she’s lost everything, she turns her charm on Alex, but he’s not interested, knowing the kind of woman she is.

After she’s gone, the building starts to shake. Earthquake? But no: a drill starts to pound through the floor and there’s an unearthly red light coming through the crack it’s making. A moment later, Jake steps out of it, looking somewhat the worse for wear, and tells Alex he’s escaped from Hell, though only temporarily. He’s come looking for the books - the right books, not the ones Alex and he showed IRS when audited. The real deal, that shows what crooks they both are. He needs these, in order to gain the respect he believes he’s due Down Below, and in order to rise through the ranks and become what he calls a Minion, which we can only assume is a sort of lieutenant or manager. There’s a big construction gig going on down there right now, and he’s not being trusted with any of the big stuff. He wants to show Satan that he has the right - or perhaps that should be the wrong - stuff.

Alex isn’t too keen though. He’s done some shady deals with Jake over the years, and he doesn’t want those broadcast all over Hell. He refuses, trying to shoot Jake, but then, Jake is already dead, so that doesn’t exactly work out. Then it seems Jake’s time is running out, as a real Minion arrives and starts to drag him back. Seeing his chance, Alex throws his ex-partner under the bus, laying all sort of good deeds at his feet, trying to make out that he was a good guy, and does not deserve any sort of promotion in the ranks of evil.

While they’re arguing, another man appears, this one called, with appropriate awe and reverence by the Minion, Red Leader. Of course this is the Devil himself and he reveals that Jake did not escape, Red Leader let him go in order to provide him the opportunity to meet with Alex. Oh yes, Red Leader is very interested in Alex Hayes! He offers him a top job, authority over millions, plenty of opportunity to skim, but Alex isn’t fooled. He doesn’t, he says, belong in Hell and as he’s still alive this Red Leader can’t take him against his will. Red Leader leaves, but he assures Alex he will be back. When he’s gone Jake’s widow enters and, seeing the gun Alex had tried to shoot Jake with, picks it up and shoots him, and kicks him into the hole which leads down to Hell. So it looks like he’s going to be taking that job after all!

Comments: Ah yes! This is more like it! I can’t believe that, of all the anthology shows, the one I rate least has come up with, so far, the best episode. I never have time for Tales from the Darkside, but I have to admit they pulled it out of the bag with this one. Some ****ty acting, definitely - Jake’s reappearance from Hell doesn’t even faze Alex; he never once says I must be dreaming or anything, and when the widow comes back she remarks on the hole in the ground, yes, but basically ignores it after that. Plus what is it with that door? It sounds so loud and ominous, like a door on the Enterprise turned up to ten! But overall, a good morality tale, and not entirely predictable. I like the nod back to A Christmas Carol when Red Leader tells Alex “You’ve been working on your resume for some time now.” Class.

Stories utilising damnation and the Devil can’t, even by the 1980s or 1990s, be said to be anything like original, but this one is handled in a semi-original way, sort of looking to the corporate world as the embodiment of Hell, so kudos on that. Everyone bar the widow works well. Jake, as the eternal second-rate guy wanting to lord it over his own empire, being in his wheelhouse for once; the Devil (Red Leader) working out the details of his offer to Alex, even the Minion who goes after Jake, all very good. The widow almost lets it down; of them all she’s the only one really serious. Even Alex can’t keep a straight face. Good interaction. The idea of using Hell as a place where the more evil you are the more promotion you can earn is a clever one, and using goodness as a way of “losing the interview” is good.

Rating: A+

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Title: “Nosedive”
Series: Black Mirror
Season: 3
Year: 2016
Writer(s): Charlie Brooker, Rashida Jones, Michael Schurr

Storyline: In a world of the - probably not too distant - future, Lacie, like everyone, is obsessed with rating on phone apps, and getting ratings. Everyone wants to be rated five stars, and most are. The quest for positive feedback consumes the lives of everyone on Earth, but this of course is a two-edged sword. Get enough negative feedback and you are toast. One of Lacie’s co-workers, Chester, is being ostracised for his breakup, with everyone “on the side of” the other party, and nobody is rating him. He’s slipped to a score of 3.1, unheard of and socially really dangerous in this image-important world.

Lacie wants to move to an upscale area, but the high price tag is off-putting, However, if she can raise her rating to 4.5 she will get a discount. This won’t be easy though and she will have to start moving in more rarefied circles to meet the “quality people” she needs to “boost” her rating in time to meet the requirements for her new house. Her chance comes when her old friend Naomi, now a model or actress or something, invites her to be her maid of honour. She knows that there will be all top A-listers at the wedding, and although her brother reminds her that she and Naomi were less than friends when younger - Naomi was very mean to her and slept with her boyfriend - she can’t turn down this chance and so pretends he doesn’t know what he’s talking about. Hell, the girl lives on her own private island! Getting to 4.5 will be a breeze!

Ah but maybe not. Things start to go wrong for her as soon as she leaves her house. She bumps into a woman, who immediately gives her one star (the horror!) and then at the airport her flight is cancelled, and losing her temper and using profanity gets her docked until she’s at 3.1. There’s not only no way she can’t fly now, she is instructed by airport security to leave the airport! So now she has to rent a car, but because of her reduced rating she can only get a piece of crap. Still, at least she’s on her way. Until the car’s battery runs out and she discovers that it’s such an old car that the charging station doesn’t fit it. She then has to hitch-hike and nobody will pick her up as she is now down to 2.8. Eventually a truck driver stops - she’s 1.4, and for a moment Lacie considers not taking the lift, but she does and the trucker, a woman called Susan, tells her how she lost faith in this whole rating system, how empty and hollow it revealed itself to be, and how she no longer gives a damn about ratings.

Naomi calls Lacie and tells her not to come to the wedding as she’s now only a lowly 2.6. This was not unexpected by me, but Lacie seems to be surprised. She decides to go ahead and crash the party anyway, wanting to deliver her speech in order to get the votes she needs. Of course it all goes wrong: she’s downvoted to zero, especially when she picks up a knife and has to be arrested and thrown in jail. There, bereft of the cameras in her eyes (were there cameras in her eyes? I think there were cameras in her eyes) and her phone, she is free finally to tell people what she really thinks about them, not what she thinks they want to hear; free to think, rather than just rate, to actually express her opinion without the fear of what it will cost her.

Comments: Black Mirror is seldom less than wonderful, and this is another case in point. Brooker shows us in all its stark, naked, supremely stupid reality the kind of world we’re heading for, where our consumerist, image-conscious, ratings-obsessed slavery to social media ends up dumbing down the human race till all we are in the end is a statistic on someone else’s phone. People are now discriminated not by colour or race, but by rating. Shows you how empty, hollow and really faceless and grey Facebook and Instagram and all that **** really is. I hated this for the image it portrayed of society, or rather for showing me the truth, but I loved it for the very same reason. If there’s one man who tells it like it is and does not give a ****, it’s Charlie Brooker. Excellent story, even if the behaviour of the characters made me grind my teeth. I imagine I was supposed to.

Slightly disappointed in the ending: A bit downbeat but with a clever and important message. I would have liked to have seen Lacie spill out Naomi’s secrets and that resulting in all her friends downvoting her, making her as miserable and as much an outcast as Lacie, perhaps losing her husband.

Rating: A++

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So we've completed the first section in round one. Time for analysis. Who said I was anal? You take that back!

You would think, from what I’ve written so far, that it would be obvious which is going to be first, and maybe it is, but I want to judge these under several criteria, which I’ll list below. After all, a really crappy episode might have something to recommend it, and might be able to rise above poor writing if, say, it had a really great twist or something. I don’t know what the hell I’m talking about, so normal service resumed. Here are the criteria under which I’ll be judging all episodes and getting their ranking. All will be scored from 0 to 10.

Story: Obviously, the most important point; was the story good? But this will be broken down then into

Plot twists? Were there any? Were they good? Did they take me by surprise, and were they believable?

Setting: Was it just a story set on Earth or did the writer go for a more out-there locale (other planet/dimension/time etc)?

Ending: Regardless of plot twists, or the absence of them, did the story end well? After all, sometimes a plot twist won’t save a ****ty story. Sometimes it can make it worse.

Enjoyment factor: Simple enough: did I enjoy the story overall?

Originality: Was this a reworking of a popular theme, or one that has been done before? Was it even a copy or version of, or tribute to an earlier story?

Humour: Was there any? Humour can sometimes make an otherwise bad story seem acceptable, but then again if used badly it can just make it worse. For this reason, there are minus scores here too, for when the humour is totally inappropriate, used badly, or just ends up detracting from a bad (or good) story.

Star quality: Not always an indication of a brilliant episode, but the addition of well-known actors and actresses can change how well a story is received.

Supporting character(s): Did they work well? Did they complement the main character? Did they add to the story or would it have been better off without them? Did they actually make it worse?

Predictable? Does what it says on the tin: could I work out pretty early in the story how it was going to end, and was I right?

Innovation: Did the story use any new or interesting concepts, or approach things in a way I have not seen before?

Message: Was there a clear message in the story, and was it put across well?

Loose ends: Were there any, or was the story tied up neatly at the end?



So that’s a possible total of 130 (13 criteria with a maximum of 10 each). Let’s see what the data, as they say, shows us.

“Shades of Guilt” (The Twilight Zone)

Story: 7

Plot twists? 5

Setting: 0

(Any story set on Earth in our time gets the lowest rating)

Ending: 5

Enjoyment factor: 5

Originality: 1

Unless something is a complete rip-off I won’t give it a 0, but this is too close to so many other stories.

Humour: 0

Star quality: 0

Supporting character(s): 3

Predictable? 3

Innovation: 0

Message: 5

Loose ends: 10

Total: 44

“Beyond the Veil” (The Outer Limits)

Story: 4

Plot twists? 2

Setting: 0

Ending: 2

Enjoyment factor: 2

Originality: 0

Humour: 0

Star quality: 0

Supporting character(s): 1

Predictable? 10

This is the only high score I’m giving this episode, in that I could not figure out how it was going to end. Even if it was a **** end, it certainly was not predictable.

Innovation: 0

Message: 0

Loose ends: 10

Total: 31

“On a Deadman’s Chest” (Tales from the Crypt)

Story: 3

Plot twists? 5

Setting: 0

Ending: 0

Enjoyment factor: 3

Originality: 10

Humour: 1

Star quality: 10

You have the late Heavy D, Greg Allman, Steve Jones of the Sex Pistols and heavy metal axeman supremo Rudy Sarzo. And Tia Carrere. That’s some line up. And even they couldn’t save this from being the turd it is.

Supporting character(s): 6

Yeah, Vendetta is the device by which Danny ends up at the tattoo parlour, Heavy D as the tattoo guy is all right though not that effective. His parter Nick isn’t that much a part of it, but his wife Scarlet is. And Allman puts in a decent performance as the put-upon promoter. Plus Sarzo’s shredding slays.

Predictable? 10

Innovation: 10

Message: 0

Loose ends: 10

Total: 68

“Red Leader” (Tales from the Darkside)

Story: 10

Plot twists? 7

Setting: 0

Ending: 8

Enjoyment factor: 10

Originality: 8

Humour: 10

Star quality: 0

Supporting character(s): 8

Predictable? 6

Innovation: 6

Message: 0

Loose ends: 10

Total: 83

“Nosedive” (Black Mirror)

Story: 10

Plot twists? 10

Setting: 8

Ending: 8

Enjoyment factor: 10

Originality: 10

Humour: 3

Star quality: 0

Supporting character(s): 5

Predictable? 10

Innovation: 10

Message: 10

Loose ends: 10

Total: 104



So the current rankings are as follows:



In fifth place The Outer Limits

In fourth place The Twilight Zone

In third place Tales from the Crypt

In second place Tales from the Darkside

And in first place Black Mirror.

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Analysis:

The Outer Limits: Interesting to see the old stager being last. I was never a complete fan of The Outer Limits (much prefer The Twilight Zone) but even so, I had expected the show would perform better right out of the gate. Mind you, it was a terrible episode, so maybe we won’t be too hard on the series until we see how it does in future battles.

The Twilight Zone: Quite surprised to see this down so far. I wasn’t entirely impressed with the story but I did think the series would have made a better showing. It just shows that sometimes things like innovation and originality, even star power can push an episode higher than it perhaps deserves. I nevertheless expect this show to do better in future.

Tales from the Crypt: And I thought this one would be much lower, as I rated it a lot lower myself, but again as I say in the section above, certain elements were in its favour. We’ll see if this continues to be the case as we go on.

Tales from the Darkside: Very surprised this is so high, as I have never rated this show, but I have to admit, sometimes they come up with gold, and this was one of those times. Held its own better than I had expected. Will it continue to surprise me? Stay tuned.

Black Mirror: No surprise though that this won, the only slight bemusement being in the fact that it didn’t wipe the floor with the competition. I’d almost always expect this show to come top, though if it comes up against some of the classic Twilight Zone episodes it might have a battle on its hands! Oddly though, here the valiant opponent was Tales from the Darkside! Who would have thought?


Margins are not all that huge either. We have 31 plays 45 plays 68 plays 83 plays 104. That’s only 14 points between fifth and fourth, though a larger gap between fourth and third, 23 points, while it’s tighter between third and second, only 15, but still a good 21 points between second and first.

So for now, Black Mirror reigns, but not exactly supreme. Tales from the Darkside is coming up behind it. There’ll be no opportunity for it to get past until the second battle, but I do wonder if Brooker’s show will hold its own after we run section two?

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All right then, time to move on.


ROUND ONE, PART II: YE LESSER MORTALS

Shows covered here

Tales of Tomorrow
Monsters
Amazing Stories*
Are You Afraid of the Dark:
Night Gallery
Creepshow:
Dimension 404**

Both Creepshow and Night Gallery presented me with a problem, as each use a two or three tale per episode format. I didn't think it would be fair to put up more than one episode against one of the others, and anyway, which one would I focus on? I could have a really good one and a really bad one, and how would I work that out? So in the end I decided just to choose one segment from an episode, which is how I've gone for it here. Those segments will be shorter than the other shows' episodes yes, but as any girl will tell you, size is not everything.

What? When did this happen? Why was I not told???

* I see there has been a reboot of this, so I will be covering both if they come up on the RNG

** This only had six episodes so won't last long, but we'll include it for as long as it lasts.

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Title: “The Miraculous Serum”
Series: Tales of Tomorrow
Season: 1
Year: 1952
Writer(s): Theodore Sturgeon, from a story by Stanley G. Weinbaum

Storyline: Dr. Dan Scott, a biochemist, believes he has invented or discovered a serum which, using the human pineal gland as its basis, is able to repair any defect in or damage to the body. He’s been trying it on animals but now he wants a human subject. His boss, head of the hospital in which he works, is dubious; apart from anything else, patients have rights, and Dr. Barker can’t authorise anyone to be used in an unproven clinical trial! When a girl is dying, with no hope, he decides what the hell, might as well. Can’t do any harm. He secures Carol’s permission and the serum is injected into her.

She’s very quickly no longer dying, very much alive and up and about. Hands up anyone who thinks this is not going to go horribly wrong? Of course, Carol has been said to be “adapting”, and she’s adapted all right: to the discarding of morals and manners. She saw someone with money, she needed it, so she stole it. There’s no sense of ethics here, no understanding of the concepts of right and wrong. Not only that, she’s stronger than ever, able to touch Barker’s hot pipe (ooer!) without so much as flinching or sustaining any burns. Barker is afraid that Carol is now progressing, regressing, evolving or devolving towards complete amorality and selfish need, coupled with super strength and no concern for others. This does not sound like a good combination. He wonders if an operation might sort it, but Carol is having none of it, and makes it clear Barker had better not stand in her way. Scott is less worried, and can’t see the danger his boss can.

Carol escapes and we hear that she is getting into the top levels of government in her search for power. She comes back, tries to entice Scott to go with her, help her in her quest for world domination, but he is aghast and she coldly leaves him. The two men discuss knocking her out with gas so that they can take her to their hospital and perform the experiment which will (they hope) return her to normal. And it does. The end.

Comments: I don’t know if they’re all like this, but it’s weird to see the show sponsored by a watch company, and then spend nearly three minutes blatantly advertising their product. Quite annoying actually, very cheap. But I guess that’s how it was back then. I do find it funny that in the very first scene Barker buzzes his intercom and asks his secretary to find Dr. Scott, and literally a second later he bursts in to the office. Later, when the girl is dying, he does the same, this time sending a nurse, and again seconds later he’s there! What, was he waiting outside to be called, serum in hand? I also find it amusing that the serum is injected, and then Barker says he can’t hear her heart, but then he can, and he exclaims “She’s alive!” Well, yes: she was alive a moment ago. It’s not like she’s been brought back from the dead or anything. A little early to be celebrating and congratulating his colleague I think!

I must say, at its heart this is a horribly misogynistic story. Its underlying message - in fact, to hell with underlying: it screams it in hysterical huge red letters ten feet high! - is “don’t let women get any sort of control or they’ll ruin the world!” Nobody considers that what Carol had in mind for the world might have been good? And why had the subject to be a woman? Wouldn't a man, bent on power, have worked just as well? And be more likely to have been affected in that way? Really, quite bloody awful I have to say. Not impressed. As for the experiment to turn her back: they had no idea whether it would work or not, but the unspoken moral is that if it killed her, it would still have been preferable to allowing her to continue to become what she was turning into.

I hope that fucker with the watch company isn’t in every episode or I’ll end up getting very annoyed. THREE god-damn segments with stupid watch adverts: one before the episode, one halfway through and one at the end. Bloody fifties!

Rating: B-

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Title: “The Mother Instinct”
Series: Monsters
Season: 1
Year: 1989
Writer(s): D. Emerson Smith

Storyline: A woman who is in a wheelchair is feeding and talking to her plants in the conservatory when her daughter comes to visit with her no-good husband, who appears to be violent towards her. Yeah, I can see where this is going already. Sorry, sorry. Nelson has come looking for money, but the mother refuses. She’s tired of bailing out this lowlife gambler, and when he threatens her daughter she jumps out of her wheelchair and pins the guy to the wall. Amazed, her daughter asks how? And she tells her it’s the juice of her melons (ooer!) that she drinks, the enzymes in the mixture rejuvenate the body, but only for a short while. When he sees firsthand the effect, wheels begin to turn in Nelson’s greedy little mind; golden, sparkly wheels as he sees what money could be made from such a venture.

He offers to go into business with his wife’s mother, but she turns him down flat. He’s not done yet though. If she won’t team up with him he’ll steal the melons himself and make the juice, then he won’t have to share the profits with anyone. His wife is of course reluctant, but she’s weak and easily led, and in awe of her horrible husband, and so she helps him. In the conservatory as they try to harvest the melons something comes alive though, and starts attacking them, and they barely get out alive. The next morning, her mother shows her what she calls giant bloodworms her father brought back from the Amazon (no, nothing to do with Bezos!) which she says can change any plant they interact with. It's not the melons that are special - without the bloodworms they’re nothing - it’s the worms themselves. She foresees all sorts of medical advances due to them, but guess who’s been listening in at the door?

So the next night he steals two of the worms - a breeding pair - and tells his wife he no longer needs her. The mother is there though, and gloats as she tells him she knew he was listening; she set it all up so he would steal the two worms. Unfortunately, he’s not just stealing two worms, he’s stealing two children, and their mother might have something to say about that. A huge bloodworm rears up, three or four times his size, and takes him out. That’s the end of him and his wife is free of the bastard. As her mother warned him, “don’t ever mess with the mother instinct!”

Comments: Okay well I wasn’t quite right (I assumed the plants were going to come to life and kill the guy to protect the mother) but it was close. Good twist though, and great to see the arsehole getting his comeuppance. Good story, not totally predictable, good ending.

Rating: A+

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