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Old 12-28-2018, 07:37 PM   #1 (permalink)
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Default Looking for a Bombass US Coast Guard Marching Song

You know how the US military has marching songs for each service, the army, the navy, the air force, and the marines? Well the Coast Guard has one too. But the only one I've found is lame. This is not the one I know. There is absolutely another one that I can't find.

Back when I was in military school we'd have big **** parades and one of the things was when we were standing at attention they'd play a medley of the service songs. After I guess Vietnam our school, Fishburne Military School stopped being a prep school for joining Virginia Military Institute, or West Point, or Annapolis or whatever where the kids there were there to start a career of importance and became a glorified reform school for kids who were ****ing up.

So we didn't give a **** about any of these service songs. Except for the Coast Guard song. Cause the Coast Guard song ****ing bumped. Like we had this thing called Alumni Weekend where all the old cadets would show up to relive their childhood and drunkenly wander into our rooms and be like "Hey, I used to live here!" and we'd be like, "Really, sir? That's crazy (man, **** off, old guy, nobody cares)."

And the biggest thing for Alumni Weekend was the hours long march we'd have to do on the front field and of course we had to stand in formation while they did the ****ing service song medley, where every dickhead alumni with white hair would stand for the song from the service they'd joined after graduating from the college they joined after graduating from our school. But we all waited for the Coast Guard song. Cause that was when all the younger alumni who didn't give a **** and hadn't joined any service would stand up in the bleachers on the field and get down like drunk retards while all the old guys looked on in horror.

Good times. Ring any bells?
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Old 12-28-2018, 07:47 PM   #2 (permalink)
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Lucem, you're right, it's silly to talk about what I would or wouldn't do IRL. Glad you brought it up. Maybe you should write an instrumental about it. I recommend a piano paired with a clarinet. With ambient sounds of you hanging from your shower curtain you ****ing failure.

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Old 12-28-2018, 07:48 PM   #3 (permalink)
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What's Rat Rule 13?
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Old 12-28-2018, 07:51 PM   #4 (permalink)
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What's Rat Rule 13?
When somebody makes a claim and when questioned they say 'google it' it means they are probably full of ****.
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Lucem, you're right, it's silly to talk about what I would or wouldn't do IRL. Glad you brought it up. Maybe you should write an instrumental about it. I recommend a piano paired with a clarinet. With ambient sounds of you hanging from your shower curtain you ****ing failure.

Art Is Dead. Buy My ****.
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Old 12-28-2018, 07:53 PM   #5 (permalink)
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Old 12-28-2018, 07:54 PM   #6 (permalink)
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Lucem, you're right, it's silly to talk about what I would or wouldn't do IRL. Glad you brought it up. Maybe you should write an instrumental about it. I recommend a piano paired with a clarinet. With ambient sounds of you hanging from your shower curtain you ****ing failure.

Art Is Dead. Buy My ****.
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Old 12-28-2018, 08:05 PM   #7 (permalink)
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That last beer definitely worked cause I just made a joke nobody on this forum could possibly understand and am still laughing at.
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Old 12-31-2018, 07:21 AM   #8 (permalink)
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Meh.

Try this paratrooper song, instead...


Blood Upon the Risers (Gory Gory What a Hell of a Way to Die)

He was just a rookie trooper and he surely shook with fright.
He checked off his equipment and made sure his pack was tight.
He had to sit and listen to those awful engines roar.
You ain't gonna jump no more.

Gory, gory, what a hell of way to die.
Gory, gory, what a hell of way to die.
Gory, gory, what a hell of way to die.
He ain't gonna jump no more.

"Is everybody happy?" cried the sergeant looking up.
Our hero feebly answered, "Yes", and then they stood him up.
He jumped into the icy blast, his static line unhooked.
And he ain't gonna jump no more.

He counted long, he counted loud, he waited for the shock.
He felt the wind, he felt the cold, he felt the awful drop.
The silk from his reserve spilled out and wrapped around his legs.
And he ain't gonna jump no more.

The risers swung around his neck, connectors cracked his dome.
Suspension lines were tied in knots around his skinny bones.
The canopy became his shroud, he hurtled to the ground.
And he ain't gonna jump no more.

The days he lived and loved and laughed kept running through his mind.
He thought about the girl back home, the one he left behind.
He thought about the medicos and wondered what they'd find.
And he ain't gonna jump no more.

The ambulance was on the spot, the jeeps were running wild.
The medics jumped and screamed with glee, rolled up their sleeves and smiled.
For it had been a week or more since last a 'chute had failed.
And he ain't gonna jump no more.

He hit the ground, the sound was "Splat," his blood went spurting high.
His comrades they were heard to say, "A helluva way to die."
He lay there rolling 'round in the welter of his gore.
And he ain't gonna jump no more.

There was blood upon the risers, there were brains upon the 'chute.
Intestines were a-dangling from his paratrooper suit.
He was a mess, they picked him up and poured him from his boots.
And he ain't gonna jump no more.

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Old 12-31-2018, 11:18 AM   #9 (permalink)
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Not ****ing bad. Military humor is always charmingly ****ed up.
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To evaluate my character my immediate pleasure is being pitted against my future greed!
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The Batlord is amazing man. He loves some fine woman and he gets horny easily. What is better than that.
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Old 12-31-2018, 12:09 PM   #10 (permalink)
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I'd like to hear a dumbass US Coast Guard marching song. Do they make those too?
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Time & Place

25 Albums You Should Hear Before the Moon Crashes into the Earth and We All Die


last.fm
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