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Old 12-30-2016, 01:37 PM   #1 (permalink)
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Default The Batlord's Anti-Poseur Thread of Metal for People Who Aren't Bitch Made Pussies
You know those black metal bands that are all experimental and have **** like shoegaze and polka or whatever and how the **** do you mosh to this? You do? Get the **** out of my thread, loser. This thread is only for badass **** for people who use their brains as fuel for getting blackout drunk and then drop kicking the neighbor's dog.

The Batlord is back, and you are not.
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Originally Posted by J.R.R. Tolkien
There is only one bright spot and that is the growing habit of disgruntled men of dynamiting factories and power-stations; I hope that, encouraged now as ‘patriotism’, may remain a habit! But it won’t do any good, if it is not universal.
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Old 12-30-2016, 01:37 PM   #2 (permalink)
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Vio-lence - Eternal Nightmare (1988)






Let's start with something that's so obvious cause it's so ****ing awesome. I don't know if anyone with a functioning set of testicles could ever hear this album and not punch a feminist hobo, but I haven't heard of any case yet. Hailing from the San Francisco Bay thrash scene in the heyday of its glory, Vio-lence were nothing more and nothing less than a hailstorm of bitchin riffs and mosh anthems. Heads down thrash savagery meets brutal breakdowns meets godlike gang shouts meets your face. There's no proggy panty-waist bull**** here, just raw metal mastery of the highest caliber. Even the vocals separate the men from the poseurs. They're not impressive in and of themselves by any stretch of the imagination, but in context they are the beating heart and soul of thrash and metal. Go buy this **** or download it or get a bunch of your dumbass friends and trash an FYE while stealing a copy of this on your way out. Today. Not tomorrow.






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Quote:
Originally Posted by J.R.R. Tolkien
There is only one bright spot and that is the growing habit of disgruntled men of dynamiting factories and power-stations; I hope that, encouraged now as ‘patriotism’, may remain a habit! But it won’t do any good, if it is not universal.
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Old 12-30-2016, 01:37 PM   #3 (permalink)
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ooo get hype
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I'm not even mad. Seriously I'm not. You're a good dude, and I think and hope you'll become something good
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Old 12-30-2016, 02:00 PM   #4 (permalink)
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One of the finest writers of our time, can there be any doubt?
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Old 12-30-2016, 02:05 PM   #5 (permalink)
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Aeon - Rise to Dominate (2007)





****ing hell bitch slut **** this album is the ****. Pure brutal death metal insanity with none of the mindless techy bull**** that makes so much brutal death metal unlistenable and lame. This album is nothing but brain splattering riffs delivered in the most stripped down manner possible while still sounding like a Waffen SS blitzkrieg on your ear drums. The lyrics are delightful as well, as they are entirely anti-Christian blasphemy delivered by an insanely bitchin vocalist who can also be understood without a lyrics sheet. This is also one of the only brutal death metal albums I'd ever call "catchy", but catchy in a way that in no way detracts from the shattered skulls inexplicably littering the floor of your room after you're done listening to this album. If you've been staying away from brutal death metal because of all the boring tech bull**** then this is your time to get on the train. But it's a different train. A bitchin train.

And "Luke 4:5-7" is like the sweetest death metal song ever.






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Quote:
Originally Posted by J.R.R. Tolkien
There is only one bright spot and that is the growing habit of disgruntled men of dynamiting factories and power-stations; I hope that, encouraged now as ‘patriotism’, may remain a habit! But it won’t do any good, if it is not universal.
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Old 12-30-2016, 02:24 PM   #6 (permalink)
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The zenith of these threads' generalization thus far. We'll reach the maximum after someone starts one called "Music that is Good".

Garbage Disposal and Human Remains are still my favorite "brutal" death metal bands. They know how to have a good time.
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Hmm, what's this in my pocket?

*epic guitar solo blasts into my face*

DAMN IT MONDO
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Old 12-30-2016, 02:25 PM   #7 (permalink)
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This is the zenith, pussy.
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Quote:
Originally Posted by J.R.R. Tolkien
There is only one bright spot and that is the growing habit of disgruntled men of dynamiting factories and power-stations; I hope that, encouraged now as ‘patriotism’, may remain a habit! But it won’t do any good, if it is not universal.
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Old 12-30-2016, 02:28 PM   #8 (permalink)
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Thus far
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Originally Posted by Oriphiel View Post
Hmm, what's this in my pocket?

*epic guitar solo blasts into my face*

DAMN IT MONDO
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Old 12-30-2016, 02:30 PM   #9 (permalink)
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You're right. I haven't made another thread yet.
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Quote:
Originally Posted by J.R.R. Tolkien
There is only one bright spot and that is the growing habit of disgruntled men of dynamiting factories and power-stations; I hope that, encouraged now as ‘patriotism’, may remain a habit! But it won’t do any good, if it is not universal.
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Old 12-30-2016, 02:31 PM   #10 (permalink)
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You're right. I haven't made another thread yet.
So you'll never actually reach the zenith then?
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