The Ironic Metal Thread

[Trollheart]

Post your worst, silliest, most overblown or ridiculously serious albums, bands or songs here. Nobody take offence: this is just meant to be a little fun. Metalheads take their music a little too seriously sometimes and this is just an attempt to inject some light-heartedness and humour into proceedings.

Oh, by all means post Dragonforce and Manowar, but they're such easy targets. Try to be a little more creative?

To prove I'm not above slaughtering my own sacred cows....

Iron Maiden - "Quest for Fire" from Piece of Mind

Sure, it's not a terrible trainwreck of a track, but I feel it's very clearly the weakest on the album, and nearly ruined it for me, coming as it does in between the great "Still Life" and the wonderful "Sun and Steel". I mean, listen to how the opening line tracks, or rather doesn't. Yawn. Steve, what were you thinking?


Black Sabbath - "Psychophobia" from Cross Purposes

Hands up anyone who likes the Tony Martin era? Anyone? Well, anyway I find this to be the poorest track on that album, which kind of isn't saying a lot anyway.


Hammers of Misfortune - "The Trial and the Grave" from The August Engine

This isn't a terrible song really, but it's way too long imo and doesn't seem to know whether it wants to be power metal, gothic or doom, and it ends up being just too confusing. It's not a great album really either.

[MicShazam]

Originally Posted by Trollheart

Hands up anyone who likes the Tony Martin era? Anyone? Well, anyway I find this to be the poorest track on that album, which kind of isn't saying a lot anyway.

Oh, that's me! In fact, I'm such a terrible iconoclast that I prefer the best of the best of the Dio, Ian Gillan, Glenn Hughes and Tony Martin fronted albums to the Ozzy years. The only song I remember liking from Cross Purposes was Immaculate Deception. For me, the band really started going downhill by the time they released Tyr. But it's allright, Eternal Idol was a very good Tony Martin fronted album.

Here's a few silly metal tracks from my music shelves:







I feel no shame admitting that I like all of them unironically. That might mean I'm doing this thread wrong.
It's more that I know that they aren't really in all that good taste.

[MicShazam]

At risk of offending someone, I'd just like to point out that both of these are terrible songs from an otherwise (mostly) solid band:

[Trollheart]

Hmm. I'd say there are much worse songs to pull from Somewhere in Time ("The Loneliness of the Long Distance Runner", anyone?) and "Back in the Village" was, as I'm sure you know, a follow up to "The Prisoner" off Number of the Beast, though I would agree it's inferior to the original. I wouldn't call either song bad though. But hey, different strokes, and I'll kill you if I ever see you.

[MicShazam]

Originally Posted by Trollheart

Hmm. I'd say there are much worse songs to pull from Somewhere in Time ("The Loneliness of the Long Distance Runner", anyone?) and "Back in the Village" was, as I'm sure you know, a follow up to "The Prisoner" off Number of the Beast, though I would agree it's inferior to the original. I wouldn't call either song bad though. But hey, different strokes, and I'll kill you if I ever see you.

There are more Iron Maiden tracks I don't like, so don't tempt me to go on a rampage!

I'm surprisingly unfamiliar with most of Number of the Beast as I remember not liking it as a teenager and thus never really having listened much to it. I can remember like 2-3 three songs off the top of my head - the Prisoner not being one of them. But yeah, better not go there. That is one Holy Metal Cow if there ever was one!

[Trollheart]

Meh, most people here prefer Powerslave, and I can see why. But Number of the Beast will always hold a special place in my heart, as it was not only the first Maiden album, but the first ever heavy metal album I bought, so I won't hear a word against it.

No, not even "Invaders!" or "Gangland".
Well, maybe "Gangland"...

[The Batlord]

Originally Posted by MicShazam

There are more Iron Maiden tracks I don't like, so don't tempt me to go on a rampage!

I'm surprisingly unfamiliar with most of Number of the Beast as I remember not liking it as a teenager and thus never really having listened much to it. I can remember like 2-3 three songs off the top of my head - the Prisoner not being one of them. But yeah, better not go there. That is one Holy Metal Cow if there ever was one!

It's a good album, but also clearly a transitional one. Putting it as high as it always is on metal album lists is a joke.

[Trollheart]

Originally Posted by The Batlord

It's a good album, but also clearly a transitional one. Putting it as high as it always is on metal album lists is a joke.

Well I explained why I do that. I suppose for others it's seen as the first "real" Maiden album, as it changed their original sound a lot with the addition of Bruce and of course they had huge hit singles from it, and were kind of almost single-handedly responsible for dragging metal into the mainstream for a while. I mean, who ever thought we'd see Maiden on Top of the Pops?

[The Batlord]

And The Black Album made Metallica huge, but it still sucks.

[Trollheart]

Originally Posted by The Batlord

And The Black Album made Metallica huge, but it still sucks.

Number is inferior to Powerslave, probably also Piece of Mind, yes, but in no way does it suck. I think we can agree on that, can we?