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Old 01-24-2024, 10:24 AM   #1 (permalink)
Join Date: Jan 2024
Posts: 1
Default Starving

I wrote this with the intention of it just being a poem I would hammer out to kill some time. But, I actually ended up being very happy with the way how I think it turned out. So much so, I thought about making a droning, ambient track to recite it over and record it. This is, however, my first attempt at poetry outside of more "conventional", I guess, lyric writing. So I kinda have cold feet. I'm hoping I could get some feedback on the words. Maybe some tips to polish it up a bit more. Thank you to anyone who offers their aid.

I think I'm starving.
I feel myself wasting away everyday.
I'm cursed to hunger for knowledge and wisdom,
to find patterns that shatter ignorant prisons.
I think I'm starving.

I hear music in the mundane.
I close my eyes to sleep and hear symphonies, not sheep.
I write with all my passion but the fashion of my passion is fleeting and never worth keeping.
It could never be sustaining.
I think I'm starving.

I search for messiahs to find they only shelter pariahs.
I am elected to be dejected.
The rejected are subjected to being dissected
To prove they are only human.
My faults are proof of my confusion.

So I pray everyday,
Subtly fumbling every line so I can cast it away.
I resign myself to living in a neverending plane of gray.
My soul is bleeding and bleating and pleading and needing
to be free from the shackles of my body.
But I am nobody.

The light makes me blind.
And the shadows comfort me in ways I can't describe.
My mind is a maze of shades where darkness is looming
And pain leaves a stain to frame the shame of living.
The blackness is consuming.
I think I'm starving.

But what if I'm not?

What if I already exist on the edge of my ability?
Reaching only for heights that exist within infeasibility?
Have I found the source of my sickness?
Did I reject respectable witness?

The darkness consumes me.
I reflect on the days where I suffered in pain
and counting the ways where I could be saved.
Praying to God to take me away,
Help me brave the enslaving entrapments,
To constrain the painful enactments.

It feels like fire burning in my chest.
I'm not insane, but sick.
I should feel blessed
Wading in stagnated waters,
A lamb being led to the slaughter.
I'm not starving.

I've spent my life striving to be something that I'm not.
I've gotten drunk drinking poison wine from an empty cup.
I ate from the plate of Socrates and savored the taste of hemlock
All in an effort to learn.
But I'm not starving.
backup3963 is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 02-08-2024, 11:45 AM   #2 (permalink)
Join Date: Jan 2024
Posts: 17

I like it! Some phrases have deep meaning.
mabres is offline   Reply With Quote

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