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Old 10-30-2005, 12:45 AM   #1 (permalink)
ghettochik
 
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Default Love me

(sounds of ambulance, rushin' feet, paramedics workin', tryin' 2 save a womans lyfe, & da luv of her lyfe standin' near in fear)

(Flash back)
This is me, all of me{all of me}
my heart is wide open
for you to take a peak{a peak}
No lies
Secrets not in site
Do you like what you see

-Chorus-
Look into my eyes,
what do you see
Do you see me, or
Do you see right through me
(Back to the present)
If i die,
would you care
Do you love me?...
Blocked by iron gates
Lies my pulsing heart,
I gave you the key, oh
Will you disppoint me
If i fall,
will you catch me
Do you love me?
I love you

(Another Flashback)
You complete me, all of me{all of me}
Now i'll ask you a question
answer truthfully{truthfully}
Can i draw a circle
instead of a heart
cuz a heart can break

-Chorus-

I love you(3 times)

(Another flashback)
The bliss that we shared
Seeing what was not there before
Is this love? Are you sure?
Fond memories stir in time,
know what
As nice as heaven really is
Nothing can dismiss my distress
Like when you hold me in your arms
Baby, please dont let me go
Let me know....
Do you really love me?

(Back to present, woman in hopital)

(Woman wakes up 2 see da luv of her lyfe)
Look into my eyes, do you see me(me me)
or right through me
If i died, would you care(care care)
If i fall, will you catch me
Do you love me.....
(the luv of her lyfe holds her hand & says....):I love you
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Old 11-12-2005, 09:22 PM   #2 (permalink)
[[la de da diddy da]]
 
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I think it's....cool.

What kind of beat were you thinking of having go with it (if any)?
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Old 11-12-2005, 09:22 PM   #3 (permalink)
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Lame
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Old 11-13-2005, 12:32 AM   #4 (permalink)
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Quote:
Originally Posted by _LesPaul43_
Lame
Why is it lame? You need to explain your opinion or it isn't valid.

It's not my type of song. It didn't really flow either.
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Old 11-13-2005, 01:32 AM   #5 (permalink)
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yeah....if i'm being honest, it could definitely use some work. for one, the car accident scene has just been beated to death so much that it's become a horrible cliche, i'd steer away from that one. also, a lot of the lines remind me of cheesy forewards that kids send to eachother when they're 12 or 13 (ie: the part about drawing a circle instead of a heart). try not to be so direct with the lyrics, use some metaphors or more subtle ways of getting the point across.
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Old 11-13-2005, 01:39 PM   #6 (permalink)
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or just stop writing, talking, breathing, living. but not neccesarily in that order.
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Old 11-13-2005, 11:40 PM   #7 (permalink)
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Vanilla
Why is it lame? You need to explain your opinion or it isn't valid.

It's not my type of song. It didn't really flow either.
I dont need to explain myself to you.....i expressed my opinion..Thats all
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Old 11-14-2005, 02:10 AM   #8 (permalink)
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Quote:
Originally Posted by _LesPaul43_
I dont need to explain myself to you.....i expressed my opinion..Thats all
No **** you gave your opinion, don't know about the express bit. And like I want to hear your opinions?

I'm talking about the stupid one worded comment you posted to the author of the song. I think even she deserves you to elaberate.
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Old 11-14-2005, 07:00 PM   #9 (permalink)
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This thread is about posting your Opinion.........Not why you did or didnt like it.........but if you do need my input..its cheesy and it just has no cool sound to it what so ever
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Old 11-14-2005, 07:52 PM   #10 (permalink)
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Why do you write flashback, are you gonna sing flashback in your song. And it is cheasy. like les paul said.
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