just say anything about this
 

i was going to post one of my good songs, but I wouldn't want to do that, so I left you with this **** one instead.


people say you're ugly/
but there's something about you/
definetly/
people say I'm crazy/
But there's something about you/
that only I can see/

A troubled past/
that not many could deal with/
I'll promise I'll last/
I'll be the guy you spend your life with/

Bullied by the others/
But I'll come to your rescue/
I'm here to protect you/
I'll heal the cuts on your wrists/
Because I can't live without you/
understand you'll be missed/

A troubled past/
that not many could deal with/
I'll promise I'll last/
I'll be the guy you spend your life with/

Well, if you're going to be like that... Its utter bollocks. It made me want to smash my computer screen up, for infecting my eyes with this filth.

If you want some kind of good criticism, post up a song that you can honestly say is your best effort. Don't make excuses!

OUCH!!!

'
 

i am totally open to criticism. i have got to say though that i was kind of looking for more constructive criticism. I am still early on the whole music writing thing (as you can probably tell lol) i really don't feel like posting my best efforts because if they get bad criticism then i am doomed for eternity. just saying that my song is utter bollocks, even though that maybe the case, is not very helpful. it really is just a waste of a post. i had a feeling that this song would get a bad rep (and i was right) but considering that i have taken the time to get your opinion you should at least give me something that is a valid point of view.

well i didnt like it i wont be an @$$ about it but usually when u write a song its like real and is this song a true story

Well......i didnt like it...Actually i dispised it...sorry but it was horrible and i also wasnt fond of you saying you have good songs but for some odd reason you put on a bad one.....Hmmm

.

this song isn't a true story I kind of draw on things that other people have experienced or I know are going on. I know the fact that I never put a good one in sounds suspicious but I am reworking the lyrics of them at the moment and also if I put them on here and they get totally ripped apart then I'll kind of be like this:banghead:

Biscuits:tramp:

the thing is its too straight forward. albeit very easy to relate to it doesnt necessarily have all that much depth. personally i like being able to read into things like poetry and song lyrics so i can expand on them and relate them not only to that subject matter and how it may relate to my life... but also i like to try and connect them to other feelings other emotions... it keeps the lyrics fresh and interesting... alive. maybe spice it up with some imagery... describe this evasive "thing" about this person. describe this past. is it crimson? living inside this person? does it show on the outside of this person?
describe this person. describe the feeling you get to see them in this way.
basically... show us your feelings.