Opinion on lyrics
 

I wrote these lyrics, they're not really completely done, but I figured maybe I could get some feedback from people I don't know. Oh and if anyone has an idea for a title or suggestions I'd appreciate it.



If not you love
Then I will have no other
So I made a wish on this dollar
[I tossed it underwater,
And watched it sink down and down
and down
and down.....]
You'll suffocate between his sheets
I guess that makes me just as selfish as you
[And she loves the winter...
...Don't you wish you could bring back the summer?]

How can you try to replace this bullet with a kiss on the cheek?
["Listen babe,
it's just for now,
let's be friends,
we'll see where it goes"]

So here's the truth,
Wrapped up nice in a box
Full of the best intentions
And enclosed with careful directions
["What's the difference between us and friends?"
"Friends don't kiss each other on the lips."]

So here's the truth
And I guess it served its purpose
You make me hate everything about myself
And this dollar is what you're worth

Keep your hands to yourself love [I'll still make your toes curl under]
You know where mine will end up [And I'll still get nothing back]
Forget about those nights ["I'll walk you half way home,"]
We'd kiss with upset stomachs [Yeah you can promise all you want]
Keep your eyes closed tight love ["It's nothing you did wrong]
I don't wanna know who you've been kissing [But it's much too hard to explain"]

I still want you back love

to say the truth, the only part i liked was

yeah that was a good bit. the rest....a bullet for a kiss? it sounds like your writing a theme song for a dark film noir about a private eye or something.