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Can't
Everytime I get in a jam
You’re there to pull me out
Everytime it’s getting rough
You’re there without a doubt
But what am I to do
When you’re no longer here
Can’t you see this is the cause
For what I’m trying to do
Trying to distance myself away from you
I seem to be drowning once again
And I seem to be falling to no end
But I still can’t bring myself to ask
For your hand, just another sin
Made myself believe it was just for a while,
To let myself see
If I can do fine with just me
Starting to get out of control
Getting to a level where it’s not suppose to be
Get myself up for another day
Dont know where i stayed for yesterday
Find a mirror, look dead straight into it
I hate what I see, so I punch the damn reflector
Make my way back, see you from a distance
Was about to, but I cant bring myself to chance it
I drown once again, fall to no end
And realize I can never again ask for your hand


At all
Call me a monster, what do i care
It's my cold-heart that helped me survive here
After what I've seen
After what I've heard
Can't expect me to simply disregard
Not nearly sorry to break your heart
When the end comes I'll embrace it all
I know of what i risked to get it all
The heavens may will for me to regret it all
Maybe, but not today at all


if you have any ideas how to improve them, it would be most helpful. If you're just going to say "the whole thing is shit, you just need to do the whole damn thing over", then dont waste your time, 'cause thats not needed.

Like I said before the first one is very good :)

And the second one, whoever came up with risked must be some brilliant dame ;)

yes i agree :beer:

:) :beer: hehe I'm a brilliant dame...hehehe

The line that I underlined I liked. I'm sorry to say but I didn't really think much of the second one-It seems like another 'oh no, I've lost my girl/boyfriend. Let's moan.' poems that I just can't bear with. The first one is good, and like I said, what I put in bold was good. So, and I know you didn't want people to say this, but scrap the second one because that one isn't going anywhere. Focus on the first one.

Thanx. & damn, thats what i was afraid of it sounding like for the second one. but thats not what i was going for. i was going for someone who had to do many unforgivable things & let his/her family member of some sort down. but still she/he isnt fazed by the fact that he/she hurt the "family member" & will take whatever is coming at her/him for the choices he/she made. She/He knows he/she might regret it someday, but not at the moment.

I think I just misunderstood. My bad.

No problem

She'll never apologize
For saying what she feels
Even if its not what you wanted to hear
Not going to tip toe around it either
Gonna give it to you straight
That's what you wanted her to do though
Dared to beat it out of her good
But you'll never get it from her
Because she'll never apologize
Just for being real

Someday, people will understand you can illustrate more poetically an emotion without rhyming.

Where do kids get the idea that poems must rhyme?

Don't be locked and chained up by something as restricting as rhyme scheme when you can just write what you feel.