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Old 01-06-2006, 05:14 PM   #1 (permalink)
[[la de da diddy da]]
 
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Default The Ballad of Hating You

A/N: As always, only helpful critism please...and this song is meant to be sung with keyboard and to the tune of "Tained Love" by Soft Cell...it works well with it.
---


The Ballad of Hating You

I hate you, Lou
I know you love me, too
This is how I hate you, Lou

Don't tell me what to do
No one ever tells me boo
You're no different from them, Lou

Your dreams are not my problem
Don't even try to solve 'em
Don't take it out on me
Because you spilled your goddamn tea


*Let me live, you fucking tease
Let me do as I fucking please
I'll pay my own goddamn fees.

Don't try to save me from the inevitable
After all it's unavoidable
Don't save me from your fears
I can cry my own feigned tears

~repeat* then repeat bold then repeat * again*
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Old 01-06-2006, 05:17 PM   #2 (permalink)
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I cannot review couplets. I don't care if its genius writing, couplets make my blood currdle and my skin crawl and my bones...lose their marrow? Im not sure what bones no, but its not good.

I have two honest questions for you then:

1. WHY couplets?

2. Wtf is "tut"
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Old 01-06-2006, 05:21 PM   #3 (permalink)
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1. Couplets because I felt like doing something that rhymed.

2. lol kinda off topic, but tut means like...you know when someone half laughs, they kinda make a "tut" sound....do you get it?
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Old 01-06-2006, 05:34 PM   #4 (permalink)
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I know what it means, but tut's more like the sound you make when you hold in a burp. And now you're disgusting me.

Also, fine rhyme, but there were like maybe 3 people ever that wrote interesting couplets and they were back in Victorian england. if I give youa rhyme scheme, will you change it?
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Old 01-06-2006, 05:36 PM   #5 (permalink)
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I'll make a different version, but I won't change it...
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Old 01-08-2006, 10:03 PM   #6 (permalink)
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spilt your tea? confusing.
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Painstaking devotion and love
Surrendered to self preservation
From others who care for themselves
A blindness that touches perfection
But hurts just like anything else

Isolation, isolation, isolation
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Old 01-08-2006, 10:05 PM   #7 (permalink)
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You know, i think it swears to much.
I find profanity ruining, unless done right.
Its not done right here.
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Old 01-09-2006, 02:22 PM   #8 (permalink)
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Its a metaphor,e/o

The way I'm planning to sing it (the tune I mean) the swearing fits in well.
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Old 01-09-2006, 02:32 PM   #9 (permalink)
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Hmph, i could of sworn i already posted in here...meh....anyways, i find it amusing actually. i like it. favorite part was the bolded.

i thought ...
Quote:
Don't try to save me from the inevitable
After all it's unavoidable
Don't save me from your fears
I can cry my own feigned tears
should of been done in 3 lines
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Old 01-09-2006, 02:34 PM   #10 (permalink)
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thanks crazy :]]]

3 lines? really? Hmmm...

Don't try and save me from the inevitable, after all its unavoidale
Don't save me from your fears
I can cry my own feigned tears


Like that?
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