Cries and Whispers (single, quote, song, Hang)

angel18 · 01-14-2006, 07:29 AM

hey this is a song i wrote a while ago. i want people to tell me if its good or not.

Cries and Whispers

Hope and desire are all we need
even when things are not what they seem
Hopes and fears are all we ever see
We made a contract in a field of snow

A single release now, and he's saying
Out of the woods and trees, across the rain
From out of the nighttime, somebody screams
He's on his way somewhere, like he's been nowhere
I don't know, nobody knows
I don’t know, nobody knows

Small girl is lost here on a frozen floor
what do they want with her?
What do they want with her?
I don't know, nobody knows
I don’t know, nobody knows
nobody even tries to find out what they want to know

Somewhere out there, is a man
He walks along a road in the purring rain
He wants to find out what they know
About his little girl
He wants to know, but nobody knows
He wants to know, but nobody knows

He thinks about when she was born
She was the most beautiful thing in the world
She had bright blue eyes and brown golden hair
He never wanted to leave at all
But then the call came and he had to go

Now he searches for his little girl
He wants to know how she’s grown up
He wants to meet and greet his little girl
Even though some things have changed
He wants to know, but nobody knows
He wants to know, but nobody knows

angel18 · 01-14-2006, 11:44 AM

please tell me what u think!

TrampInaTux · 01-15-2006, 06:40 AM

This is another awful song by you that makes not an ounce of sense. Although I did like your mispelling of pouring (purring).

Crazy Luv · 01-15-2006, 11:13 AM

i think this needs serious work....i got confused, & i think you got confused when you were writing it or something.

Quote:

Originally Posted by angel18

hey this is a song i wrote a while ago. i want people to tell me if its good or not.

Cries and Whispers

Hope and desire are all we need
even when things are not what they seem
Hopes and fears are all we ever see
We made a contract in a field of snow

It was good until the last line. you also possibliy(sp?) need to change one of the "hope(s)".

Quote:

A single release now, and he's saying
Out of the woods and trees, across the rain
From out of the nighttime, somebody screams
He's on his way somewhere, like he's been nowhere
I don't know, nobody knows
I don’t know, nobody knows

what is he saying?
...across the rain....???.....

Quote:

Small girl is lost here on a frozen floor
what do they want with her?
What do they want with her?
I don't know, nobody knows
I don’t know, nobody knows
nobody even tries to find out what they want to know

Somewhere out there, is a man
He walks along a road in the purring rain
He wants to find out what they know
About his little girl
He wants to know, but nobody knows
He wants to know, but nobody knows

is this the man you were talking about earlier?
how can rain pur? is this personification or something?

Quote:

He thinks about when she was born
She was the most beautiful thing in the world
She had bright blue eyes and brown golden hair
He never wanted to leave at all
But then the call came and he had to go

again, the starting..okay...the ending....what the ****?!....

Quote:

Now he searches for his little girl
He wants to know how she’s grown up
He wants to meet and greet his little girl
Even though some things have changed
He wants to know, but nobody knows
He wants to know, but nobody knows

is there more...or is this the ending?

either/or · 01-16-2006, 01:23 AM

at least it's not about taking a ****. still terrible

01-14-2006, 07:29 AM	#1 (permalink)
angel18 Music Addict Join Date: Jul 2005 Posts: 129	Cries and Whispers hey this is a song i wrote a while ago. i want people to tell me if its good or not. Cries and Whispers Hope and desire are all we need even when things are not what they seem Hopes and fears are all we ever see We made a contract in a field of snow A single release now, and he's saying Out of the woods and trees, across the rain From out of the nighttime, somebody screams He's on his way somewhere, like he's been nowhere I don't know, nobody knows I don’t know, nobody knows Small girl is lost here on a frozen floor what do they want with her? What do they want with her? I don't know, nobody knows I don’t know, nobody knows nobody even tries to find out what they want to know Somewhere out there, is a man He walks along a road in the purring rain He wants to find out what they know About his little girl He wants to know, but nobody knows He wants to know, but nobody knows He thinks about when she was born She was the most beautiful thing in the world She had bright blue eyes and brown golden hair He never wanted to leave at all But then the call came and he had to go Now he searches for his little girl He wants to know how she’s grown up He wants to meet and greet his little girl Even though some things have changed He wants to know, but nobody knows He wants to know, but nobody knows

01-16-2006, 01:23 AM	#5 (permalink)
either/or Don't think twice Join Date: Dec 2005 Location: A basement on the hill Posts: 352	at least it's not about taking a ****. still terrible __________________ Painstaking devotion and love Surrendered to self preservation From others who care for themselves A blindness that touches perfection But hurts just like anything else Isolation, isolation, isolation

01-14-2006, 11:44 AM	#2 (permalink)
angel18 Music Addict Join Date: Jul 2005 Posts: 129	please tell me what u think!

01-15-2006, 06:40 AM	#3 (permalink)
TrampInaTux that's my war face. Join Date: Nov 2005 Posts: 1,418	This is another awful song by you that makes not an ounce of sense. Although I did like your mispelling of pouring (purring).