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02-09-2006, 02:22 PM
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#1 (permalink) |
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The Forums Sadistic Ghost
Join Date: Mar 2005
Location: beyond midnight, in the abyss of time, the syren in the night
Posts: 457
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The sacrifice
In the darkness
you find the light the night is waiting to fill you with fright the moon is gone the flowers are dead the sky is on fire and we'er filled with dread the kingdoms crumble the light fades out the impious have fled and run all about the moon is full its painted blood red the hate in the air cut you down dead the moon has fallen the flowers die the light never comes whatever we try the epochs fly a floating light vexation ties my patience tight the talented scribe the noblest heart my feelings in flux an unequaled art my fury rises my life betrayed vengence obtained a venal arrayed a transit of thoughts motionless meditation the fires of fury a dangerous transition when the dust settles and stillness then comes it brings back life but the blood still runs on the alter of sacrifice was the payment for life who shed all his blood to end all our strife
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I'm not a freak on a leash, I'm just the freak holding the leash. http://www.myspace.com/yukiko_mori 
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02-09-2006, 04:52 PM
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#2 (permalink) |
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you are freakin out, man
Join Date: Jan 2006
Location: ajax, ontario
Posts: 129
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i honestly didnt even bother finishing this... its just the same thing over and over... one attempt to show your "extended" vocabulary after another... the flow wasnt particularly well done, and it didnt seem to have any real point or purpose. if you ended with a bang, it certainly wasnt tied in with the beginning or middle... but then again, i guess ill have to finish it...
nah |
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02-16-2006, 08:16 AM
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#3 (permalink) |
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The Forums Sadistic Ghost
Join Date: Mar 2005
Location: beyond midnight, in the abyss of time, the syren in the night
Posts: 457
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well if you don't like my writing don't read it. read some thing else
__________________
I'm not a freak on a leash, I'm just the freak holding the leash. http://www.myspace.com/yukiko_mori
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02-16-2006, 03:38 PM
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#4 (permalink) |
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you are freakin out, man
Join Date: Jan 2006
Location: ajax, ontario
Posts: 129
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oh ofcourse. i just want you to know that im not trying to be rude at all... just honest, and as such an accomplished writer, i would imagine you would like any comments very critical, so as to have an effect on the highly advanced inner workings of your poetic mind. I wouldnt want you missing out on a chance to perfect your art...
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02-21-2006, 03:08 PM
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#6 (permalink) | |
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The Forums Sadistic Ghost
Join Date: Mar 2005
Location: beyond midnight, in the abyss of time, the syren in the night
Posts: 457
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Quote:
__________________
I'm not a freak on a leash, I'm just the freak holding the leash. http://www.myspace.com/yukiko_mori
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02-21-2006, 03:15 PM
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#8 (permalink) |
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The Forums Sadistic Ghost
Join Date: Mar 2005
Location: beyond midnight, in the abyss of time, the syren in the night
Posts: 457
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i've been listening to skakira a bit much.
__________________
I'm not a freak on a leash, I'm just the freak holding the leash. http://www.myspace.com/yukiko_mori
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02-21-2006, 03:20 PM
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#9 (permalink) |
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you are freakin out, man
Join Date: Jan 2006
Location: ajax, ontario
Posts: 129
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at all is too much... if you can make something good in a language youre fluent in, why butcher someone elses? the fact that there is more than one language in a song doesnt make it artsy... it just makes it take longer for me to find a translater so i can tell you its crap
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02-21-2006, 03:22 PM
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#10 (permalink) |
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The Forums Sadistic Ghost
Join Date: Mar 2005
Location: beyond midnight, in the abyss of time, the syren in the night
Posts: 457
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i'm mutilingual
__________________
I'm not a freak on a leash, I'm just the freak holding the leash. http://www.myspace.com/yukiko_mori
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