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Old 02-21-2006, 01:29 PM   #1 (permalink)
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Unhappy Your Silent Face

Your Silent Face

A thought that never changes
Remains a stupid lie
It's never been quite the same
No hearing or breathing
No movement, no colors
Just silence

Rise and fall of shame
A search that shall remain
We asked you what you'd seen
You said you didn't care

Sound formed in a vacuum
May seem a waste of time
It's always been just the same
No hearing or breathing
Just nothing

The sign that leads the way
The path we can not take
You've caught me at a bad time
So why don't you piss off
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Old 03-13-2006, 09:14 AM   #2 (permalink)
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i tend to dislike angry poetry because someone hurt them... it's like you turn into the hulk but you need dr. banner there to keep everything in check.... you have to make it much more conscious and deliberate effort and have something to say.... this is art not therapy.
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Old 03-14-2006, 12:49 PM   #3 (permalink)
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ok not sure what u mean but thanx for the comment
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Old 03-14-2006, 01:23 PM   #4 (permalink)
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i mean this feels a bit raw like you just started writing this out because you were angry. there's no reason why you can't go back and put some actual work into it. how does a thought that never changes remain a stupid lie? i just don't understand lines like that. you know what u mean but u have to make sure the reader knows too
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Old 03-15-2006, 07:20 AM   #5 (permalink)
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i read ya stuff and i see ya replies ya got. just remember not everybody understands. but i do- i got cha message loud and clear. it's not out of anger- but to make a connection with an audience that can re-late. that's what writing is. the sun crashing guy did'nt get it- but keep at it- this ya boi slogan- i'm back ya heard me. Good job
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Old 03-15-2006, 07:33 AM   #6 (permalink)
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awsome break it down for us mr. slackjaw, you tell us what that poem is saying my brother in moonshine.
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Old 03-15-2006, 11:30 AM   #7 (permalink)
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thanx for the comments slogan! i wrote this along time ago. if people don't understand it thats fine. but thanx for the comments crashin sun!
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Old 03-15-2006, 11:40 AM   #8 (permalink)
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I dont get it at all. Could you explain it a little?
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Old 03-15-2006, 11:44 AM   #9 (permalink)
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its about someone thats really angry and just in case people think its not about me! this boy feels really pissed off at everything and he just wants everyone to go and piss off. thats the only way i can explain it really. its been a long time since i wrote it about 2 years so
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Old 03-15-2006, 12:25 PM   #10 (permalink)
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I just want to know what this line means cause I really didn't get it:

Quote:
A thought that never changes
Remains a stupid lie
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