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Old 04-26-2006, 10:23 AM   #1 (permalink)
They call me Tundra Boy
 
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Location: In your linen cupboard.
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Default So its another friday night on the razz down in Broad Street...

You dance in the lamplight, all alone
Do I imagine this spotlight upon you?
Unselfconcious and so at home
Mesmerise me, there's nothing I can do

With your half-lowered eyelids and pelvic gyrations
And your hair flicking wildly, always on beat
If you wanted to avoid advances
You should have learnt some different dances

You draw me in, its magnetism
You make the most of the moves you're given
I'm feeling warm, I'm feeling driven
So seatbelts on, time for collision

The turn of your hip's going to cause a commotion
You stare direct and your intentions I see
Just like the moon gives the tide to the ocean
You have now given momentum to me

You draw me in, its magnetism
You make the most of the moves you're given
I'm feeling warm, I'm feeling driven
So seatbelts on, time for collision

(I wrote it a few months ago but forgot to post it)

Does anybody have a suggestion for a better first line? Particularly the words dance and lamplight - they're the weakest parts of the song, but I'm at a loss for what to replace them with.
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When Pete plays it is 100% live , your music if that's what you call it doesn't sound so good either? so you can't really critercize can you ?
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Old 04-26-2006, 10:35 AM   #2 (permalink)
Me llamo Marijan
 
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unselfcouncious is an actual word? and that pelvic gyrations made me s******, it completely breaks the rythm....
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Old 04-26-2006, 10:41 AM   #3 (permalink)
They call me Tundra Boy
 
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Originally Posted by adidasss
unselfcouncious is an actual word? and that pelvic gyrations made me s******, it completely breaks the rythm....
Those pelvic gyrations are in perfect time daaaahling. Unfortunately, I was writing about a girl who happens to gyrate her pelvis a lot when she dances, so I wasn't sure what else to say!

Unselfconscious a word (although I spelt it wrong). Its an adjective meaning 'not selfconscious'.
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When Pete plays it is 100% live , your music if that's what you call it doesn't sound so good either? so you can't really critercize can you ?
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Old 04-26-2006, 10:51 AM   #4 (permalink)
that's my war face.
 
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Good song. I laughed at the pelvic gyrations part also, not because it was bad but because... I have no reason, it just made me a laugh. I'm special.

Well done for writing about Broad Street. Go Birmingham!
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