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Old 05-27-2006, 11:14 PM   #1 (permalink)
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Join Date: Apr 2006
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Default The Tramp Champ--or?

The Tramp Champ –really don’t have a proper title—suggestions?
(male vocal) oline
© annie 2006 re-write below1.)
It’s a quarter to nine
And I’ve just finished - a bottle of wine.
Didn’t know how much I was hurting
Seems-- there’s no more fun
I should buy -another one
And then I might forget your fllirting.

Ch)
Sometimes you’d act like a tramp
And wouldn’t know who you’d been doing
But that’s not the same as a vamp
When you and me were billing and cooing
And you’d say let’s turn on the lamp
and ourselves with the viewing

2.)
Now it’s one thirty-one
Just noticed another - bottle is done
Oh boy this is trou-ou-ble
I don’t even feel drunk
But sure in a funk,
‘Cuz I’m sure seeing dou-ou-ble

Ch)

3.)
Bet you’re with someone new
Too many others have flo-own the coop
Your reputation’s expanding
The talk of the town
The gossip goes round
And there’s not a good man left standing


Ch)
Sometimes you’d act like a tramp
And wouldn’t know who you’d been doing
But that’s not the same as a vamp
When you and me were billing and cooing
I’ll declare you the champ
And just leave you stewing

TAG)
Yeah I’ll declare you the champ
And just leave you stewing!
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Old 05-31-2006, 03:39 PM   #2 (permalink)
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any remarks for me--or is it THAT baD?
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Old 06-11-2006, 08:46 AM   #3 (permalink)
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The last two lines of the chorus 'and you say let's turn........' doesn't sound as good as the 'i declare you the champ........'
i'm having a bit of trouble identifying the hook though- could the tag but not sure?????
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Old 06-11-2006, 05:11 PM   #4 (permalink)
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thank you wordiva

I do believe you are right. I like that better too. Will rework it!

thank you
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Old 06-11-2006, 11:47 PM   #5 (permalink)
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was thinking about a title and this popped in.
this one is a bit long winded but yea; 'drinking away the tramp?'
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Old 06-13-2006, 09:17 PM   #6 (permalink)
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It's a bit bland. It seems kinda like a lot of it was written just so that it would rhyme. The story seems forced. It's alright as a start, but it could definitely use some revision, mainly revision of the storyline.
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Oh please, don't barrage me with questions to all those ugly answers.
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But maybe I don't want to finish anything anymore..
maybe I can wait in bed 'til she comes home. and whispers....

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Old 06-28-2006, 07:59 PM   #7 (permalink)
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The Champ
© annie 2006
1.)
Itís a quarter to nine
And Iíve just finished a bottle of wine.
Didnít know how much I was reacting
Seems nothing is fun
So Iíll drink another one
To forget your on-street transactions

Ch
Iíll declare you the champ
In being a tramp
You donít often know who youíre doing
Now youíre not the sweet chick
When you and I clicked
And we were kissin' and cooing

2.)
Now itís one thirty-one
Just noticed this second bottle is done
Oh boy this is trou-ou-ble
I Ďm feelinig drunk
In one hell of a funk,
ĎCuz Iím sure seeing dou-ou-ble

Ch)

3.)
Bet youíre with someone new
Many others have flo-own the coop
Your reputation canít be transcended
The talk of the town
As gossip goes round
What you start, we all know, is soon ended!

Ch)
Iíll declare you the champ
In being a tramp
You donít often know who youíre doing
Now youíre not the sweet chick
When you and I clicked
And we were kissin' and cooing

TAG) Yeah Iíll declare you the champ
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