Heres Something Im Starting On..

FailurexByxDesignerxJeans · 08-11-2006, 10:02 AM

cuz i was just starting on this one. and its not a good start i guess. I thought the lyrics were "okay" so I posted them.

I changed the first verse but i dont think it will help:

Disoriented Teens
Flood the streets
with their mindless
selfconciesous (sp)
to guide them around
their self pity and doubts
dertermined enough to
find the right of passage

Trauma · 08-11-2006, 10:07 AM

It's better.
Just take out "They always tend to cut their own throats", not saying that's bad, but it's bad.

FailurexByxDesignerxJeans · 08-11-2006, 10:21 AM

hows that?

Trauma · 08-11-2006, 10:26 AM

It's just too cliche.

FailurexByxDesignerxJeans · 08-11-2006, 10:32 AM

ah ohwell

08-11-2006, 10:02 AM	#21 (permalink)
FailurexByxDesignerxJeans Music Addict Join Date: Aug 2006 Location: I Panic! At the Disco [[yesh]] Posts: 58	cuz i was just starting on this one. and its not a good start i guess. I thought the lyrics were "okay" so I posted them. I changed the first verse but i dont think it will help: Disoriented Teens Flood the streets with their mindless selfconciesous (sp) to guide them around their self pity and doubts dertermined enough to find the right of passage __________________ I'm a mess of insecurities Attention starved with a narcissistic twist Don't you think that I'm amazing? Please tell me I'm worth dating I have every reason not to leave home today

08-11-2006, 10:07 AM	#22 (permalink)
Trauma snickers Join Date: Mar 2005 Location: detroit Posts: 2,194	It's better. Just take out "They always tend to cut their own throats", not saying that's bad, but it's bad. __________________ A mi no me importa nada Para mi la vida es un sueño

08-11-2006, 10:21 AM	#23 (permalink)
FailurexByxDesignerxJeans Music Addict Join Date: Aug 2006 Location: I Panic! At the Disco [[yesh]] Posts: 58	hows that? __________________ I'm a mess of insecurities Attention starved with a narcissistic twist Don't you think that I'm amazing? Please tell me I'm worth dating I have every reason not to leave home today

08-11-2006, 10:26 AM	#24 (permalink)
Trauma snickers Join Date: Mar 2005 Location: detroit Posts: 2,194	It's just too cliche. __________________ A mi no me importa nada Para mi la vida es un sueño

08-11-2006, 10:32 AM	#25 (permalink)
FailurexByxDesignerxJeans Music Addict Join Date: Aug 2006 Location: I Panic! At the Disco [[yesh]] Posts: 58	ah ohwell __________________ I'm a mess of insecurities Attention starved with a narcissistic twist Don't you think that I'm amazing? Please tell me I'm worth dating I have every reason not to leave home today