dear world (lyrics, single, rapper, member, song)

misfit_shorty · 08-29-2006, 10:05 PM

dear world,do you see what you're doin to me?
there's tears on my face,oh cant you see?
you know whats wrong with the picture we see
so why are we letting this maddness be?
theres gunshots and knife blades all around
please stop crying, i cant stand the sound
parents and children are starving to death
there's addictions to coke and chrystal meth
suicide and murder, everywhere you look
perverts lookin' for a child to abduct
people everywhere are dyin of AIDS
your friends gettin' shot in city arcades
we see parents beating small lil' children
and women turn ***,for a fear of men
but men they say,should never cry
and if they do, there friends say goodbye
you say a world of peace is what we seek
why are we so scared to stand up and speak?
friends and family are being used
helpless animals are being abused
alone and scared a father cries
but there's no comfort when a child dies
a single mother is hurting and sick
with an addiction she cannot kick
somewhere in this world i know there's kindness
if we believe in ourselves, we can clean up this mess
this world cant change unless we want it to
you know in your heart these words are true
so dear world,listen to the words i say
help me make our world okay

sleepy jack · 08-29-2006, 10:12 PM

Has Ma Cherie made a new account then realized she isn't the only one with problems I don't care about?

misfit_shorty · 08-29-2006, 10:23 PM

so here i am readin about a man who cant rap
but i dont care if his lyrics are crap

A_Perfect_Sonnet · 08-29-2006, 10:33 PM

AABB is a boring rhyme scheme. To top it off you've hit us with such underdeveloped and poorly thought out ideas and word choice that I can't help but laugh at your attempt to create poetry.

sleepy jack · 08-29-2006, 10:33 PM

Hey, you posted your song here for my opinion on it. I'll be more blunt about it.

Your song or poem or whatever. Is garbage, you try and look deep and serious by attacking multiple issues at once which really just looks like chaotic crap all piled into one in this form. Its too straight-forward a boring read, and was a complete waste of my time to read it. It sucks, I don't like it one bit.

_Spinning_ · 08-29-2006, 11:15 PM

Unfortunately, I read that.

Honestly?

Slow down. Don't address a million different issues in one piece.

And, remember, it doesn't have to rhyme. K? K.

either/or · 08-30-2006, 04:33 AM

these lyrics suck. try harder or stop.

misfit_shorty · 08-30-2006, 05:31 AM

i aint tryin....there is a jerk here who just doent accept the fact that im here to get opinions...im not a rapper, but i want to learn how i can become one....i write poetry....this crowquill guy or whoever he is cant get the fact that i didnt even post this in a rapping battle thingy(whatever they are called) hes been making fun of me all night....so whoever wants to be nice and help out i would appreciate it...im not here to "battle".....thanks to "spinning" for the honest opinion...i thought they had to rhyme....

08-29-2006, 10:05 PM	#1 (permalink)
misfit_shorty Groupie Join Date: Aug 2006 Location: canada Posts: 9	dear world dear world,do you see what you're doin to me? there's tears on my face,oh cant you see? you know whats wrong with the picture we see so why are we letting this maddness be? theres gunshots and knife blades all around please stop crying, i cant stand the sound parents and children are starving to death there's addictions to coke and chrystal meth suicide and murder, everywhere you look perverts lookin' for a child to abduct people everywhere are dyin of AIDS your friends gettin' shot in city arcades we see parents beating small lil' children and women turn ***,for a fear of men but men they say,should never cry and if they do, there friends say goodbye you say a world of peace is what we seek why are we so scared to stand up and speak? friends and family are being used helpless animals are being abused alone and scared a father cries but there's no comfort when a child dies a single mother is hurting and sick with an addiction she cannot kick somewhere in this world i know there's kindness if we believe in ourselves, we can clean up this mess this world cant change unless we want it to you know in your heart these words are true so dear world,listen to the words i say help me make our world okay

08-30-2006, 04:33 AM	#7 (permalink)
either/or Don't think twice Join Date: Dec 2005 Location: A basement on the hill Posts: 352	these lyrics suck. try harder or stop. __________________ Painstaking devotion and love Surrendered to self preservation From others who care for themselves A blindness that touches perfection But hurts just like anything else Isolation, isolation, isolation

08-29-2006, 10:23 PM	#3 (permalink)
misfit_shorty Groupie Join Date: Aug 2006 Location: canada Posts: 9	so here i am readin about a man who cant rap but i dont care if his lyrics are crap

08-29-2006, 10:33 PM	#4 (permalink)
A_Perfect_Sonnet Dinosaurus Rex!!! Join Date: Nov 2005 Location: Winchester, VA Posts: 896	AABB is a boring rhyme scheme. To top it off you've hit us with such underdeveloped and poorly thought out ideas and word choice that I can't help but laugh at your attempt to create poetry.

08-29-2006, 11:15 PM	#6 (permalink)
_Spinning_ Inexplicably Back Join Date: Aug 2005 Location: New Zealand Posts: 830	Unfortunately, I read that. Honestly? Slow down. Don't address a million different issues in one piece. And, remember, it doesn't have to rhyme. K? K.

08-30-2006, 05:31 AM	#8 (permalink)
misfit_shorty Groupie Join Date: Aug 2006 Location: canada Posts: 9	i aint tryin....there is a jerk here who just doent accept the fact that im here to get opinions...im not a rapper, but i want to learn how i can become one....i write poetry....this crowquill guy or whoever he is cant get the fact that i didnt even post this in a rapping battle thingy(whatever they are called) hes been making fun of me all night....so whoever wants to be nice and help out i would appreciate it...im not here to "battle".....thanks to "spinning" for the honest opinion...i thought they had to rhyme....