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Old 10-28-2006, 02:51 PM   #1 (permalink)
that's my war face.
 
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Default Spires

Listen to the dead of night
out of your bedroom window
you can hear the cars below
the lights of the city glaring into your eyes

The demons are closing in
on their two wheeled chariots
You can see the hell awaiting
and what you foresee is what's in store for you

The spires oversee everything
this is your world and you are king
What is right and what is wrong?
Brainwashed to sing the same song

Whistle at the angels in sight
Looking so holy without the light
Watch the miracle of life
and witness death all in the same night

The spires oversee everything
this is your world and you are king
What is right and what is wrong?
Brainwashed to sing the same song



Story of a regular kids life down here, but I put my own little twist on it...
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Old 10-31-2006, 08:33 AM   #2 (permalink)
Me and The Major
 
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What you have is good, paints a really good mental picture but it seems like there's more to it then what you posted, like there could be at least a couple more versus to make the story come full circle.
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Old 10-31-2006, 03:14 PM   #3 (permalink)
isfckingdead
 
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and witness death all in the same night

Take out the and there, it just doesn't need to be there.

I really like it I kind of wish it was longer though. I liked "The demons are closing in" line best.
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Old 11-14-2006, 11:23 PM   #4 (permalink)
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i agree with those two, if that lyric were to be written in your full potential I'll believe we'll all be amazed by it then...
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