I Keep Running (song)

Blain · 12-14-2006, 02:31 AM

I wrote this a while ago. So tell us what ya think.

I'm tired of this running
I'm made of so much more
I figured I'm going down
Better finish sore,
I hit the ground,
How did I go on?
The humiliation, the desperation
I thought that I was gone...
But I keep running...
But I keep running...

It's a matter of determination
It's a chance to redeem your pride
Never stop running
Never let it slide...

This travesty may be the end
I’m bored of all these tricks
No point in stopping now
‘Coz they’re all a bunch of pricks
When you saw me
You just walked on by
The devastation, the discrimination
This could mean I’m wrong…
But I keep running…
But I keep running…

It's a matter of determination
It's a chance to redeem your pride
Never stop running
Never let it slide...

It's a matter of determination
It's a chance to redeem your pride
Never stop running
Never let it slide...

Blain · 12-26-2006, 03:23 AM

Someone wanna comment on this? I quite liked it

Trauma · 12-26-2006, 11:28 AM

You have some good rhyme scheme and message.
However, you repeated a few words a couple too many times, and used the word "I" too much.

Not bad though.

beat_monkey · 12-26-2006, 04:50 PM

i quite liked it. it was a nice little song

Kyren Tsunami · 12-28-2006, 12:10 AM

quite strong on the message tho and very singable

12-14-2006, 02:31 AM	#1 (permalink)
Blain w0rd Join Date: Apr 2006 Location: Suva, Fiji Posts: 1,034	I Keep Running I wrote this a while ago. So tell us what ya think. I'm tired of this running I'm made of so much more I figured I'm going down Better finish sore, I hit the ground, How did I go on? The humiliation, the desperation I thought that I was gone... But I keep running... But I keep running... It's a matter of determination It's a chance to redeem your pride Never stop running Never let it slide... This travesty may be the end I’m bored of all these tricks No point in stopping now ‘Coz they’re all a bunch of pricks When you saw me You just walked on by The devastation, the discrimination This could mean I’m wrong… But I keep running… But I keep running… It's a matter of determination It's a chance to redeem your pride Never stop running Never let it slide... It's a matter of determination It's a chance to redeem your pride Never stop running Never let it slide...

12-26-2006, 11:28 AM	#3 (permalink)
Trauma snickers Join Date: Mar 2005 Location: detroit Posts: 2,194	You have some good rhyme scheme and message. However, you repeated a few words a couple too many times, and used the word "I" too much. Not bad though. __________________ A mi no me importa nada Para mi la vida es un sueño

12-26-2006, 04:50 PM	#4 (permalink)
beat_monkey Groupie Join Date: Jul 2006 Location: scotland Posts: 32	i quite liked it. it was a nice little song __________________ those of you in the cheap seats clap to this one, the rest of you just rattle your jewellery. - John Lennon

12-28-2006, 12:10 AM	#5 (permalink)
Kyren Tsunami Music Addict Join Date: Feb 2006 Posts: 64	quite strong on the message tho and very singable __________________ all the songs I've Wrotes cames from experiences from the past, present and future.

12-26-2006, 03:23 AM	#2 (permalink)
Blain w0rd Join Date: Apr 2006 Location: Suva, Fiji Posts: 1,034	Someone wanna comment on this? I quite liked it