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Old 01-18-2007, 08:50 PM   #1 (permalink)
Groupie
 
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Join Date: Jan 2007
Posts: 4
Default some lyrics i wrote yesterday

when the last words she said
were "i don't love you anymore"
i broke down and said to her
i gave my heart to you,
wasnt worth it at all
all it gave me in the end
were tears, sweat, and blood

your travesties
continue to tear me
your the cause of my heartlessness
i cant stop fighting now
these bitter voices
they bear into my head, raping my thoughts dry
i just have one more thing to ask
give me my god damn heart back

i poured it out to you till i am left dry
nothing but a black holed chest
the body waiting to die
too bad it aint gonna happen
cause heartlessness cant kill
one day i will get it back
bore into your thick skull
i will steal back what is mine
what i lived for, all this time

i went through the pain
of being there for you
through all your tears, your hopes, your wishes, and you know its true
you never did the same for me
and you left me for dead like this
you brought me to be heartless

im heartless
im heartless
im heartless
**** your life
im heartless
im heartless
im heartless
**** your life
im heartless
im heartless
im heartless
you sucked me dry
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Old 01-18-2007, 08:54 PM   #2 (permalink)
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Default

While its cliche it reminds me of something written by Converge, which is good. Get rid of the whole last part though, its not good.

Your avatar pwnz.

Stick around, i'll write a better critique when i'm feeling better.
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Old 01-19-2007, 01:32 PM   #3 (permalink)
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Default

It reminded me of Unwritten Law's song She Says.
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