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Old 03-02-2007, 10:43 PM   #1 (permalink)
The Professor
 
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Default Razor Meets Wrist

Razor Meets Wrist

It’s such a pity
That life didn’t go her way
All the teenage angst built up
Only to have
The rug pulled from underneath
Her world fell apart
Emotionally battered and bruised
Her parents fell victim
To the reapers deadly touch
Immediate family gave her the cold shoulder
Labeled an outcast at school
Got pushed around like a leaf
When the wind gusts
She comes home
Kneels along side of her bed
Tears begin to pour down her cheeks
Yelling and pleading with god
To show a sign
That she belongs on this earth
The once sweet little girl
Turned bitter and cold
She resorted to pain
To fill the void in her life
When the sharp steel slices
Her wrist
It gives her a rush
Of so many emotions
When the wounds form a scar
It’s a tag that she’ll have for wear
For weeks to come
Reminding her that death
Was more bare able than her own life
Life didn’t go the way it should’ve
She sent that message loud and clear
I can only imagine what her life looked
Like when it flashed before her eyes
With one last cut of her wrist
And one last breath
She wasted away any obstacles
That couldn’t have been over come
When razor meets wrist
It’s a combination that
Unlocks an irreversible future
A future that always ends up with
A reading of a eulogy.


Some of the events are real things that happen in my life....Granted I am not a girl but I think it makes this piece way better than if it was a guy.
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Old 03-02-2007, 10:43 PM   #2 (permalink)
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Usurp Synapse is really good.
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Old 03-02-2007, 10:45 PM   #3 (permalink)
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Sorry, but the way this is written, not diggin' it. It's so "Woe is me" And the title...man...seriously?
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Old 03-02-2007, 10:46 PM   #4 (permalink)
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Way it's written? what do you mean?
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Old 03-02-2007, 11:03 PM   #5 (permalink)
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Short lines and no punctuation. Plus how it's so "woe is me."
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Wolverinewolfweiselpigeon said:

What's with people dying? Shit.
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Old 03-02-2007, 11:05 PM   #6 (permalink)
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Yeah sorry about the punctuation I add that at the very end, this is still a draft. As for the woe is me thing I wasn't trying for that but thanks for your advice. There is always next time
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Old 03-02-2007, 11:25 PM   #7 (permalink)
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Quote:
She wasted away any obstacles
That couldn’t have been over come
I like that, knowing that life is an ever adventurous challenge, sometimes you don't feel up for it, I'm not saying I condone suicide or thoughts like that, but who hasn't thought that before? It's truth. Plain and simple.
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Old 03-03-2007, 12:09 AM   #8 (permalink)
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I think you should carry out this whole thread. Especially the title portion.
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Old 03-03-2007, 12:10 AM   #9 (permalink)
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Hahahahaha. That was cold, man. I also didn't know you ventured round these parts.
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What's with people dying? Shit.
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Old 03-03-2007, 01:05 AM   #10 (permalink)
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This reminds me of those Myspace bulletins that are like, "No girl should have to go through this." In fact, Ethan posted one on here.

http://www.musicbanter.com/hardcore-...tml#post333107

Still gives me the giggles.
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