TheUsedToolguy

I will now attempt a poem-

There was a sea, that looked really wacky,
it was moonlit, and purply waving,
I heard some mosquitoes and stuff,
out by the lake I was near,
I covered myself in bug repellent,
because I hold my skin dear,
I think I hear a noise,
and wonder if it is a bear or something,
I keep hearing noises,
what is that dumb thing,
I ask to myself, and I start to get up,
then I sit back down, deciding it's all OK,
then the noise is closer,
my survival instincts take over,
I will not die tonight by Lake Grover,
and I run to see behind the tree,
and there is nothing, nothing to see,
so I feel much better and as I sit back down,
I take a deep breath and I look around,
and I see another couple on the other side of the lake,
they're laughing at me, because of my ways,
I decide to go home at that point,
that lake wasn't a fun joint

tdoc210

bold = painfully bad

sound slike a kid song

__________________
We went back there and they had come and hacked off every inoculated arm. There they were in a pile. A pile of little arms. And I remember... I... I... I cried. I wept like some grandmother. I wanted to tear my teeth out. I didn't know what I wanted to do. And I want to remember it. I never want to forget it. I never want to forget. And then I realized... like I was shot... like I was shot with a diamond... a diamond bullet right through my forehead. And I thought: My God... the genius of that.

TheUsedToolguy

I was attempting a style more a la most of the stuff I read on here

PaperHurricanesAndPlanes

Psh. This is terrible. Who uses wacky and stuff in a poem? Terrible rhyming, terrible content.

__________________

TheUsedToolguy

I appreciate your opinion hurriplain, it was my attempt at something a little, how do you say, uh, oh yeah, awesome

THERACONTEUR21

its funny. oyu can tell really who knows how to right and who dont
give the guya break it means something to him or he wouldnt have wrote it
since you guys are perfectionists will you spell check this
peace

jibber

haha, i actually found it funny, good job on that dude

(i'm guessing you attempted a sarcastic joke with this one, at least i hope so).

and theraconteur21, spell check your own posts. If english isn't your first language, i apologize, if it is, for the love of god pay more attention in school.

__________________
What you've done becomes the judge of what you're going to do -- especially in other people's minds. When you're traveling, you are what you are right there and then. People don't have your past to hold against you. No yesterdays on the road.
William Least Heat Moon, Blue Highways

Your toughest competitor lives in your head. Some days his name is fear, or pain, or gravity. Stomp his ass.

HOOKED ON THE WHITE POWDER