???????????????/ (lyrics, Creed, career, song)

ZeppelinAir · 10-23-2007, 03:17 PM

trying something different
its a little odd
????????????

Tell me that I’m not alone,
Tell me there’s a place of my own,
Take it from you when you love having it shown,
Maybe then I can call it my own,

What is this thing that you call a home,
You tell me that’s its better than a place to sit alone,
Is it really something you can give to me,
Does have to be mine for it to free,

On the streets with the whores around me,
Buried in sin so deep I don’t think I can see,
So Is this what it really means to be free.

ItsRed · 10-23-2007, 04:10 PM

Uhmm... The sentiment is kind of a slanted argument. It's either Home (security, a cage) or Free (Streetwalking, degradation), which doesn't convince that you know enough about either to persuade me one way or another, I'd suggest making the sentiment smaller in scale. Or refrain from trying to make any specific sentiment at all.
But then Creed made a pretty good career out of the grandiose too, so what do I know.

The rhyming... I'm not going to comment on, but I will post the current lyrics for the song I'm working to be fair.

phantonic_plague · 11-13-2007, 05:41 AM

bleh...i don't like when things rhyme so much. but i suppose it's my personal opinion

10-23-2007, 03:17 PM	#1 (permalink)
ZeppelinAir Long time no see Join Date: Jun 2006 Location: somewhere in Michigan Posts: 512	???????????????/ trying something different its a little odd ???????????? Tell me that I’m not alone, Tell me there’s a place of my own, Take it from you when you love having it shown, Maybe then I can call it my own, What is this thing that you call a home, You tell me that’s its better than a place to sit alone, Is it really something you can give to me, Does have to be mine for it to free, On the streets with the whores around me, Buried in sin so deep I don’t think I can see, So Is this what it really means to be free. __________________ not that old signature

10-23-2007, 04:10 PM	#2 (permalink)
ItsRed Music Addict Join Date: Dec 2006 Posts: 48	Uhmm... The sentiment is kind of a slanted argument. It's either Home (security, a cage) or Free (Streetwalking, degradation), which doesn't convince that you know enough about either to persuade me one way or another, I'd suggest making the sentiment smaller in scale. Or refrain from trying to make any specific sentiment at all. But then Creed made a pretty good career out of the grandiose too, so what do I know. The rhyming... I'm not going to comment on, but I will post the current lyrics for the song I'm working to be fair. __________________ Dark Circle : They're here. Rocking your black night world since 2007. http://www.unsignedbandweb.com/music/bands/7789/

11-13-2007, 05:41 AM	#3 (permalink)
phantonic_plague Groupie Join Date: Nov 2007 Posts: 9	bleh...i don't like when things rhyme so much. but i suppose it's my personal opinion