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Old 10-17-2007, 07:59 PM   #1 (permalink)
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Default How Do You Do?

"How Do You Do?"

How do you do?
Are you aware of our connection?
How long would it take for your body
To intimate lack of emotion (if need be)?

Do your thoughts travel in the night?
Are your eyes their possessions?
How deep do your sockets go?
In the morning-- how long would it take?

During the day are you really here?
Hear, do you, really--
Because I do. But I have not, before.
When we have distanced after nightfall

And I know that you remain
But there are doubts from time to time
Like infection, bacteria.
Are we here?

Yes? Lovely,
We shall leave--
Together,
In the morning



-Jake V.
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Last edited by Trauma; 10-17-2007 at 08:30 PM.
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Old 11-07-2007, 05:39 AM   #2 (permalink)
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are these lyrics or is this a poem?
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Old 11-07-2007, 02:08 PM   #3 (permalink)
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i'd suggest removing "infection, bacteria". those two words do not fit the tone and carry connotations you do not want associated with the rest of the poem
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Old 11-07-2007, 09:46 PM   #4 (permalink)
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Well thank you for the suggestion, and, this happens to be a poem.
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