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Old 11-26-2007, 05:07 PM   #1 (permalink)
Groupie
 
Join Date: Nov 2007
Location: Greenville, South Carolina
Posts: 2
Default need some feedback (positive or negative)

its not finished yet but heres some of it....

i never knew what it was to miss someone
until i lose the only one i never wanted to disapoint
and i know the songs that make me think of her
would only make her think of the person that
is obviously the person that does it for her
the person she gives her all to
the person she never wants to lose
i tried to be that person for her
but i guess i wasnt good enough
in the end she was just that person for me

i never knew what it was to want something
until i spent countless hours waiting for her to call
and i know the time i spend waiting is the time
she spends getting over me and moving on
theres nothing i could ever give because
theres nothing worth the sound of her telling me
she loves me with her sweet soft voice




anyways there it is, not sure about that last line but like i said its not finished
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Old 11-27-2007, 11:51 AM   #2 (permalink)
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Join Date: Nov 2007
Location: Somewhere in the U.S
Posts: 400
Default

This seems more like a rant of sadness. than a song... it doesnt flow too well, and in parts it seems like your rambling :/ sorry if im a bit critical

Rambling part:
and i know the songs that make me think of her
would only make her think of the person that
is obviously the person that does it for her

Ranting part:
the person she gives her all to
the person she never wants to lose
i tried to be that person for her
but i guess i wasnt good enough
in the end she was just that person for me

Hope that helps a bit?
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