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Old 12-26-2007, 04:24 PM   #11 (permalink)
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Quote:
Originally Posted by awriterslastresort View Post
Take This To Your Grave was a fall out boy album in 2003. not sure about the lyrics though.
Hey I was going to say that!



Its alright but the vocals are no Patrick Stump
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Old 12-26-2007, 04:29 PM   #12 (permalink)
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You both missed the point, fall out boy's lyrics are dull and cliche and so are these, though I have to give her/him points for not having a bunch of bad puns in there.
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Ive seen you on muiltipul forums saying Metallica and slayer are the worst **** you kid go suck your **** while you listen to your ****ing emo **** I bet you do listen to emo music
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Old 12-27-2007, 06:21 PM   #13 (permalink)
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Originally Posted by Crowquill View Post
though I have to give her/him points for not having a bunch of bad puns in there.
i will agree that the poem does have good uses of the words they choose. but sometimes a bad pun could be necessary if the person is just beginning and needs feedback on the bad poetry they would be writing.

but this on in particular is different because it uses signs of imagery and emotion to capture the reader.

which i like. a lot!
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Old 12-31-2007, 08:52 AM   #14 (permalink)
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I think the funniest thing about the fall out boys title comments is that originally this song was posted as "Take it when you go", and "Take it with you", and yes we do read and take into account everyones opinion's. Why else would someone post. The problem was that most replies came in saying the title name confussed them and that it should be named Take It To The Grave. We thought, we drank, and thought some more and decided to change it to see the reaction and well I guess you all know the rest of the story. I missed the fact of Fall-out boys song. Thanks anyways guys for the listen and read. Comments dually noted.
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Old 01-04-2008, 12:56 AM   #15 (permalink)
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I listened, and I thought it was pretty good. The vocals weren't great, if there was an effect added to the vocals it just made them worse IMO.

It could be made a whole lot better if there was more emotion in it. Also, if there was a building section and a climax somewhere in there, that would make it much better. Good luck!
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Old 01-04-2008, 07:12 AM   #16 (permalink)
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Patient Dreams View Post
Thereís times when you think youíve just had enough. Songs just a descriptive feeling. Give a listen and drop a line if you want. Any feedback is appreciated.

Take It To The Grave

@ Lyneva Starbuck 10-21-07
http://www.soundclick.com/bands/pagemusic.cfm?bandID=664080

Your eyes tell a story
Your lips may never say
You can only hide the truth so long
Itíll come back for you one day

Youíre looking on the outside
As another page is turned
Still you search for the next best thing
With all the paths you burn

So you can take it to the grave
All the things you can never say
Were no one could ever hear
All your thoughts now coming true
With so much you want to do
The time has past away, so now, your can take it to the grave

Youíll hear the words Iíll say
And go on with no blame
Youíll live your lies, and die with truth
Without feeling any shame

Youíre looking on the outside
As another page is turned
Still you search for the next best thing
With all the paths you burn

So you can take it to the grave
All the things you can never say
Were no one could ever hear
All your thoughts now coming true
With so much you want to do
The time has past away, so now, your can take it to the grave

Thanks for the read. Give a listen
http://www.soundclick.com/bands/pagemusic.cfm?bandID=664080
Hi Patient Dreams,

I didn't listen to the music since others did that. I like the lyrics and the story though. The lyrics are well written. They tell a sad story about time slipping away and ruin - mistakes and consequences over and over again. The structure has a nice poetic feel - good for a song. Very nice.
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Old 01-22-2008, 05:32 AM   #17 (permalink)
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Thanks for the comments. You should hear the vocals without anything on them.
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